He looks away for a second. “I wish . . .” He clears his throat. “I wish it were simply singing. Nixes don’t lure women into the water. We linger around rivers, can’t seem to leave them behind. We . . . we . . .” He sighs and stares up at the stars. Moments of silence tick past. “We drag women into the river. Drown them by force.”
My mouth goes dry. My breath comes faster and faster.
He turns to look at me, pulls my hands into his. “Please don’t be afraid of me. I don’t want to be this either. No more than you want to be a siren. I hate knowing what I’m capable of, and every day I’m more worried about what I could do. I need you. You’re the only one who can help me avoid this terrible fate. Together . . . we can be normal.”
I shake my head and inch backward, until I’m fully backed up against the tree.
“I’m sorry. . . . I’m screwing this up. Just give me a chance to explain it all to you. From the beginning. Make you understand.”
I nod because it’s all I can do.
His voice is husky, smooth, and calming. “A hundred and fifty years ago, they say a nix stumbled upon a siren. He saw her swim and was awed by it. But, unlike other men, he wasn’t lured by her voice. Instead, he stood there, mesmerized by her song. Neither of them knew what to do, only that they were a kind of kindred spirit. They were intrigued. They spent that night together, staring at the water. He came back every night, watched her swim, and eventually, they fell in love, and then everything changed. Their curses were broken, and they were no longer slaves to their fate. The legend is that when a nix and a siren fall in love, the curse is broken.”
He rakes in a slow breath. “The curses were revenge for things our ancestors did. They’re meant to force us into loneliness. The idea is that no one can possibly accept us for the monsters we are. As soon as they discover the truth . . . they leave.”
I swallow. He’s right. The second my dad knew what my mom was, he disappeared. And he never came back.
“But the two of us together . . . why would we judge each other for it? We’re willing to look beyond it. See each other for
I swallow. “How do you know this?”
He smiles, gets this faraway look for a moment before meeting my eyes again. “My father is a nix, and my mother a siren. If it worked for them, it could work for us.
“It’s been slow and tortuous, trying to find you. Some nixes never find who they’re looking for. They live their entire lives with the curse.”
Erik leans in closer, his thumb lightly tracing my jawline for a whisper of a second. “Two years ago, a high school senior—a star swimmer—drowned.”
Steven.
“On its own, it wasn’t enough. But then I saw a photo of your mother, drowning under unusual circumstances. And I found out she had a daughter. My parents knew how important it was to find you. So they sent me here to see if I was right.”
He edges closer, meeting my eyes. “And turns out I was. You’re a siren. Like nixes, sirens are rare. You’re probably the only one in the world even close to my age.”
He pauses and crouches lower, so we’re eye to eye. “You know it makes sense. By now swimming has probably become the only thing that matters, the thing the rest of your world revolves around. You have to want more from life than the card you’ve been dealt.”
“I . . .” I swallow. “It’s just weird. To hear you talk about this. About ... what I am. I’ve never talked to anyone about it.” I don’t know what to think of all this. The idea that everything I’ve lived has just been turned on its head. He looks at me, at the scared look in my eyes, and steps back. The sudden distance seems to force air into my lungs, and I take a big gasp of breath.
He furrows his brow. “I’m sorry . . . I . . . must be overwhelming you. I never considered that you wouldn’t know about me. About what we . . . about us.”
I swallow, find myself climbing to my feet even though I don’t know why. “I just ... this is . . . a lot to take in. I don’t know what to say right now.”
“You don’t have to say anything. Let it settle in and we can talk more tomorrow.”
“I think I have a boyfriend,” I say, lamely.
He purses his lips. “I understand. That’s . . .” He doesn’t know what to say. He clearly hadn’t expected that to be my reaction. “Unfortunate,” he concludes.
“Do I still need to swim tonight?”
Erik nods. “Yes. You’ll have to keep swimming, for now. Until we fall in love.” He clears his throat. “I’ll go.”
I don’t know what to say. This has been the most bizarre conversation of my life. “Will you be at school tomorrow?”
He nods. “Yes. I transferred here. I was hoping . . . hoping I could be normal. Hoping
I nod, but I don’t know what to say. “Can we talk about this tomorrow? When it’s all . . . sunken in?”
He nods. “Yeah. Of course.”
“Okay. Um, see you then?” I edge toward the water, twist around so the lake is to my back and I’m staring at him.
“Yeah. Tomorrow.”
He doesn’t break eye contact as he edges away into the shadows. “See you then.”
And then he turns and steps into the darkness. I stand on the edge of the lake for several more minutes, waiting for him to reappear. He doesn’t.
Finally, I turn to the water, the only thing that never changes.
Chapter Twenty
When I walk into the cafeteria the next day, I see Erik sitting at the table with Cole and Sienna. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen him around them; he’s only there because of me, because he now knows what I am. My brain sears painfully, and I nearly turn and run, but before I can, Sienna stands and waves me over.
Students stream past me on both sides, flooding the cafeteria with the buzzing of voices. But they may as well have all simultaneously disappeared. The only people who matter in this world—in
I force my feet to move, and I somehow make my way across the room, until I’m standing at the end of the table. Patrick, Nicki, and Kristi are at the other end of the table.
“Hey,” I say. I glance at each of them, swiftly. The way the boys are looking at me makes me uneasy. Like I belong to both of them.
I try to act so much more indifferently than I really feel. I glance at Erik. He smiles. “Sienna seems to be the official welcome wagon. I was behind her in the lunch line and she insisted I shouldn’t eat alone.”
I nod as if this were totally normal, as if Erik is just the smoking-hot new guy from our English class and not the only person who can (allegedly) save me from my curse.
“Are you going to sit?” Sienna asks.
I realize I’ve been standing there like a total idiot, and plunk down on the bench across from Cole and Erik. I reach for the apple on my tray and take a big bite, happy to have something to keep me from speaking.
“Erik here was just telling us that it’s eighty-seven degrees in San Diego right now. Doesn’t that sound dreamy?” Sienna frowns as if the mere thought of looking pale is disturbing. “My tan is already fading.”
“I’m going tanning at that new place on Griffin Street after school. You should come with,” Nikki says. “You, too, if you want,” she says, looking at me.
“Oh, uh, no thanks. I’m cool with the white-as-a-ghost thing.”
“Suit yourself.”
“Well, since you’re not going tanning . . .” Cole begins, setting his slice of pizza back on his paper plate. “I
