Dark Benediction

“O.K. I promise you—you’ll get the best Andreyev I can give you.”

She nodded slowly. “I believe you. I didn’t doubt that, exactly.”

“Then what worries you?”

“I don’t know. I know how you feel about autodrama. I just got a shuddery feeling that you had something up your sleeve. That’s all. I’m sorry. I know you’ve got too much integrity to wreck your own performance, but—” She stopped and shook her head, her dark eyes searching him. She was still worried.

“Oh, all right. I was going to stop the show in the third act. I was going to show them my appendectomy scar, do a couple of card tricks, and announce that I was on strike. I was going to walk out.” He clucked his tongue at her, looked hurt.

She flushed slightly, and laughed. “Oh, I know you wouldn’t pull anything shabby. Not that you wouldn’t do anything you could to take a swat at autodrama generally, but… there’s nothing you could do tonight that would accomplish anything. Except sending the customers home mad. That doesn’t fit you, and I’m sorry I thought of it.”

“Thanks. Stop worrying. If you lose dough, it won’t be my fault.”

“I believe you; but—”

“But what?”

She leaned close to him. “But you look too triumphant, that’s what!” she hissed, then patted his cheek.

“Well, it’s my last role. I—”

But she had already started away, leaving him with his sandwich and a chance for a nap.

Sleep would not come. He lay fingering the .32 caliber cartridges in his pocket and thinking about the impact of his final exit upon the conscience of the theater. The thoughts were pleasant.

It struck him suddenly as he lay drowsing that they would call it suicide. How silly. Think of the jolting effect, the dramatic punch, the audience reaction. Mannequins don’t bleed. And later, the headlines: Robot Player Kills Old Trouper, Victim of Mechanized Stage, Still, they’d call it suicide. How silly.

But maybe that’s what the paranoid on the twentieth-story window ledge thought about, too—the audience reaction. Wasn’t every self-inflicted wound really aimed at the conscience of the world?

It worried him some, but—

“Fifteen minutes until curtain,” the sound system was croaking. “Fifteen minutes—”

“Hey, Thorny!” Feria called irritably. “Get back to the costuming room. They’ve been looking for you.”

He got up wearily, glanced around at the backstage bustle, then shuffled away toward the makeup department. One thing was certain: he had to go on.

The house was less than packed. A third of the customers had taken refunds rather than wait for the postponed curtain and a substitute Andreyev, a substitute unknown or ill-remembered at best, with no Smithy index rating beside his name in lights. Nevertheless, the bulk of the audience had planned their evenings and stayed to claim their seats with only suppressed bad humor about the delay. Scalpers’ customers who had overpaid and who could not reclaim more than half the bootleg price from the box-office were forced to accept the show or lose money and get nothing. They came, and shifted restlessly, and glanced at their watches while an m.c.’s voice made apologies and introduced orchestral numbers, mostly from the Russian composers. Then, finally—

“Ladies and gentlemen, tonight we have with us one of the best loved actresses of stage, screen, and auto- drama, co-star of our play tonight, as young and lovely as she was when first immortalized by Smithfield-Mela Stone!”

Thornier watched tight-lipped from shadows as she stepped gracefully into the glare of the footlights. She seemed abnormally pale, but makeup artistry had done a good job; she looked only slightly older than her doll, still lovely, though less arrogantly beautiful. Her flashing jewelry was gone, and she wore a simple dark gown with a deep-slit neck, and her tawny hair was wrapped high in a turbanlike coiffure that left bare a graceful neck.

“Ten years ago,” she began quietly, “I rehearsed for a production of ‘The Anarch’ which never appeared, rehearsed it with a man named Ryan Thornier in the starring role, the actor who fills that role tonight. I remember with a special sort of glow the times—”

She faltered, and went on lamely. Thorny winced. Obviously the speech had been written by Jade Feme and evidently the words were like bits of poisoned apples in Mela’s mouth. She gave the impression that she was speaking them only because it wasn’t polite to retch them. Mela was being punished for her attempt to back out, and Jade had forced her to appear only by threatening to fit out the Stone mannequin with a gray wig and have the doll read her curtain speeches. The small producer had a vicious streak, and she exercised it when crossed.

Mela’s introductory lines were written to convince the audience that it was indeed lucky to have Thornier instead of Peltier, but there was nothing to intimate his flesh-and-blood status. She did not use the words “doll” or “mannequin,” but allowed the audience to keep its preconceptions without confirming them. It was short. After a few anecdotes about the show’s first presentation more than a generation ago, she was done.

“And with no further delay, my friends, I give you—Pruchev’s ‘The Anarch.’”

She bowed away and danced behind the curtains and came off crying. A majestic burst of music heralded the opening scene. She saw Thornier and stopped, not yet off stage. The curtain started up. She darted toward him, hesitated, stopped to stare up at him apprehensively. Hereyes were brimming, and she was biting her lip.

On stage, a telephone jangled on the desk of Commissioner Andreyev. His cue was still three minutes away. A lieutenant came on to answer the phone.

“Nicely done, Mela,” he whispered, smiling sourly.

She didn’t hear him. Her eyes drifted down to his costume—very like the uniform he’d worn for a dress rehearsal ten years ago. Her hand went to her throat. She wanted to run from him, but after a moment she got control of herself. She looked at her own mannequin waiting in the line-up, then at Thornier.

“Aren’t you going to say something appropriate?” she hissed.

“I—” His icy smile faded slowly. The first small triumph—triumph over Mela, a sick and hag-ridden Mela who had bought security at the expense of integrity and was still paying for it in small installments like this, Mela whom he once had loved. The first small “triumph” coiled into a sick knot in his throat.

She started away, but he caught her arm.

“I’m sorry, Mela,” he muttered hoarsely. “I’m really sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.”

But it was. She didn’t know what he’d done, of course; didn’t know he’d switched the tapes and steered his own selection as a replacement for the Peltier doll, so that she’d have to watch him playing opposite the doll-image of a Mela who had ceased to exist ten years ago, watch him relive a mockery of something.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered again.

She shook her head, pulled her arm free, hurried away. He watched her go and went sick inside. Their frigid meeting earlier in the day had been the decisive moment, when in a surge of bitterness he’d determined to go through with it and even excuse himself for doing it. Maybe bitterness had fogged his eyesight, he thought. Her reaction to bumping into him that way hadn’t been snobbery; it had been horror. An old ghost in dirty coveralls_. and motley, whose face she’d probably fought to forget, had sprung up to confront her in a place that was too full of memories anyhow. No wonder she seemed cold. Probably he symbolized some of her own self-accusations, for he knew he had affected others that way. The successful ones, the ones who had profited by autodrama—they often saw him with mop and bucket, and if they remembered Ryan Thornier, turned quickly away. And at each turning away, he had felt a small glow of satisfaction as he imagined them thinking: Thornier wouldn’t compromise—and hating him, because they had compromised and lost something thereby. But being hated by Mela was different somehow. He didn’t want it.

Someone nudged his ribs. “Your cue, Thorny!” hissed a tense voice. “You’re on!”

He came awake with a grunt. Feria was shoving him frantically toward his entrance. He made a quick grab for his presence of mind, straightened into character, and strode on.

He muffed the scene badly. He knew that he muffed it even before he made his exit and saw their faces. He had missed two cues and needed prompting several times from Rick in the booth. His acting was wooden—he felt it.