My forehead on the steering wheel, hands over my mouth.
“
Struggling with the door and the bandage, bile down the armrest and on to the grass.
“
Crazy bloody fucking bitch.
Out of the car and on to my knees, the bile trailing down my chin and into the dirt.
Bloody fucking bitch.
Spitting bile and phlegm, that scream in my ears as she’d slid back on her arse up the hall, those arms and legs splayed, that country skirt riding up.
Fucking bitch.
Gravel in my palms, soil on my forehead, staring at the grass in the cracks in the road.
Bitch.
From the pages of
Thirty minutes later, my face black with dirt and my hands stained with grass, I was stood in the lobby of the Redbeck Motel, a bandage round the phone.
“Sergeant Fraser, please.”
The yellows, the browns, the stink of smoke-it almost felt like home or much the same.
“Sergeant Fraser speaking.”
Thinking of crows perched on telephone wires, I swallowed and said, “This is Edward Dunford.”
Silence, only the hum of the line waiting for words.
The click of pool balls from behind the glass doors, won dering what day of the week it was, wondering if it was a school day, thinking of the crows on the telephone wires and wondering what Fraser was thinking.
“You’re fucked, Dunford,” said Fraser.
“I need to see you.”
“Fuck off. You’ve got to turn yourself in.”
“What?”
“You heard. You’re wanted for questioning.”
“In connection to what?”
“In connection to the murder of Mandy Wymer.”
“Fuck off.”
“Where are you?”
“Listen…”
“No, you fucking listen. I’ve been trying to speak to you for two fucking days…”
“Listen, please…”
Silence again, just the hum of the line waiting for his words or mine.
The click of pool balls from behind the glass doors, won dering if it was always the same game, wondering if they even bothered to keep score, thinking of the crows on the wire again and wondering if Fraser was tracing this call.
“Go on,” said Fraser.
“I’ll give you names and dates, all the information I have about Barry Gannon and all the stuff he found out.”
“Go on.”
“But I need to know everything you’ve heard about what’s going on with Michael Myshkin, what he’s saying about Jeanette Garland and Susan Ridyard. And I want his confession.”
“Go on.”
“I’ll meet you at twelve noon. I’ll give you all I’ve got, you give me what you’ve got. And I want your word you won’t try and bring me in.”
“Go on.”
“If you arrest me, I’ll drop you right in it.”
“Go on.”
“Give me till midnight, then I’ll come in.”
Silence, only the hum waiting for the word.
The click of pool balls from behind the glass doors, won dering where the farting old woman was, wondering if she had died in her room and nobody had found her, thinking of the crows on the wire and wondering if Fraser had set me up at the Hartley Nursing Home.
“Where?” whispered Sergeant Fraser.
“There’s a disused petrol station at the junction of the A655 and the B6134 going out to Featherstone.”
“Twelve?”
“Noon.”
The line dead, the hum gone, feeling much the same.
The click of pool balls from behind the glass doors.
On the floor of Room 27, emptying my pockets and bags, staring at the tiny cassettes marked BOX AND SHAW, pressing play:
“
Transcribing my words and theirs in my own injured hand.
“
Putting a photograph to one side.
“
Changing cassettes, pressing play:
“
Printing in capitals.
“
Listening to lies.
“
Turning over the tape.
“
Rewind.
“
Pressing record to erase.
“
On the floor of Room 27, stuffing a manila envelope full of Barry’s bits and the things he’d found, licking it locked and scrawling Fraser’s name across the front.
“
At the door of my Redbeck room, swallowing a pill and lighting a cigarette, a manila envelope in my hand and a Christmas card in my pocket.
“
One door left.
Noon. Saturday 21 December 1974.
Between a lorry and a bus, driving past the disused Shell petrol station at the junction of the A655 and the B6134.
A mustard-yellow Maxi sat on the forecourt, Sergeant Fraser leaning against the bonnet.
I drove on for a hundred yards and pulled in, wound down my window, turned round, pressed record on the