Dead Girl in Love

“Should I give him a message?”

“Um … not really. I’ll see him at school.”

Then I hung up, disappointed. Not much later I went to bed.

At first it was hard to sleep, so many things running through my head, but I eventually slept soundly with no horrible dreams. And when I awoke, the sun streaking golden warmth through the window, disappointment (and admittedly, some jealously) seemed far away. Energized with hope, I felt like I could conquer any problem today. Soon I’d be with Grammy, Dustin, and Eli, and we’d come up with some way to defeat Gabe and find the missing grave for Alyce.

As I slipped into black jeans and a lacy black vest over a dark purple crepe shirt that went nicely with Alyce’s velvet ankle boots, I was thinking all about Eli. So it was like my thoughts had materialized into reality when I glanced out the window and saw him coming up the walkway.

I heard the knock and suddenly I was nervous, thinking about kissing him, wondering if it would be okay even though I was in Alyce’s body. Would she mind? Would she know if I didn’t tell her?

Another knock, and I hurried to the door.

I grasped the knob, twisting.

And there he was.

“Eli!” I cried softly.

“Not quite.” Smiling in a strange way, he shook his head. “Guess again.”

There was husky lilt in his voice and a confident lift of his chin as he stared hard into my eyes.

And I smelled the salty scent of the sea.

20

“Noooo!” I choked out, reaching for the door to slam it.

But he grabbed my hand and, with a swift yank, pulled me outside with him, the door shutting behind us. And there I was, staring into the face that I’d been longing to see again.

Only this wasn’t Eli.

“Gabe!” I covered my mouth. “Ohmygod! What have you done to Eli?”

“Nothing yet.” His smile made me ill. “It all depends on you.”

“Get out of him right now!” Tears streamed down my face. Seeing Eli’s body possessed by such a despicable soul was more than I could take.

“Why would I want to do that? This is a comfortable body — younger than what I usually choose, but it’ll do nicely … at least for a short while.”

“Don’t you dare hurt him!”

“I hope it doesn’t come to that. He’s rather an interesting fellow, with all those puzzles on his bedroom ceiling. He was very accommodating when I came for him. He was sleeping so soundly, he never even felt my hands on his skin.”

“You’re … you’re a monster!”

“No,” he said, his shoulders dropping. “I’m lonely. If there were another way to make you come with me, I would do it. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You’re not hurting me! You’re hurting Eli!” I turned on him furiously. “Get away from him or I’ll report you to the DDT.”

“You wouldn’t do that. I always know when the DDT is coming, and if that happens, I’d have to leave — and that could end tragically for this body.”

I knotted my hands into fists, wanting to smash his face — only that dear face didn’t belong to Gabe. How ironic that I’d waited so long to be with Eli and now that he stood before me, it wasn’t even him. And there was only one way I could save him.

Reality slammed into me, sucking away the air and all the fight in me. I pulled away from him, clinging tight to a porch rail. There was no one I could turn to — it was just me against a powerful Dark Lifer.

“Please, leave Eli alone,” I whispered.

“That depends on you.”

“But I can’t … don’t make me!”

“It’s your choice. You should act normally until you decide, though, or the consequences could be devastating.”

“Normally?” I blinked. “Like going to school?”

“Ah, school.” He touched his chin with his finger. “I learned about that while enjoying a fascinating breakfast of frosted pastries — Pop Tarts, the brother called them. The father was most thoughtful, too, offering me the use of a vehicle.”

I could hardly bear to look into his face and hear him speak in Eli’s voice with that chilling detachment. “At least give me this day at school with my friends and no weirdness,” I said finally. “If you do that for me and promise not to harm Eli, then I’ll … I’ll do what you ask.”

“I solemnly promise.” He held up two fingers like a Boy Scout.

Dreams, hope, life faded from my voice. “You win.”

“I always do.”

* * *

Rank odor of diesel from yellow buses, the shouts and laughter of kids, and the crush of hundreds of students heading down narrow halls to lockers and classrooms — today was like any other first day back to school after a week of spring vacation, for everyone except me. It was hard not to think about what I’d agreed to do … and how this first day back could also be my last day.

One of my self-help books, It’s Not an Addiction, It’s a Goal, talked about the fine line between obsession and goals, how creative people — like writers and actors — could be obsessive in their ambitions. This book advised to take control of emotions by creating lists of “major” and “minor” goals, then crossing out everything you had no control over and focusing on what you had the ability to achieve on your own. Alyce was the creative type, not me, but I did do my fair share of obsession when it came to my goals. Becoming an entertainment agent had always been my major goal, followed by graduating with honors, getting accepted into a top college, sharing a dorm room with Alyce, and getting an internship at a top talent agency. On the minor goals list were things like falling in love, marriage, and kids.

Only now I knew that falling in love was the most major goal of all. And as I walked through the halls, weaving through a blur of faces who meant little to me, I could only think of the one face I longed to see — with its sweet smile and clear, honest eyes shining at me.

Oh, Eli, what have I done to you? I thought as I held onto Monkey Bag. This is all my fault, but I swear, on every self-help book I own, that I’ll fix this and bring you back … no matter what happens to me.

When I heard my name called, I almost didn’t stop because the first thing on my “To Do” list was getting Alyce’s purple notebook. But then it registered that the name being called was “Amber” and not “Alyce.” I stopped abruptly and spun around.

“Don’t call me that!” I warned Dustin, putting my finger to my lips and looking around anxiously. Still, it was so good to see him, to be with a friend who knew me, that I softened my criticism by reaching out to hold his hand. The human contact was warm and real — something I would miss.

“Oops … I meant, Alyce.” He didn’t carry a backpack, only a small electronic lifeline resembling an iPhone, which he’d nicknamed “Headquarters.02.” It contained all his textbooks, homework notes, and the Internet, any of which could be activated with a simple voice command.

“It’s okay. I don’t think anyone noticed.”

“Still, I should have known better. Won’t happen again.”