“You’re right … it … it may never happen again.” A tear slipped down my cheek and I wiped it away, but not fast enough.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” He furrowed his brow, studying me. “Is this about those stupid dates? I’m so sorry about that — Zachary and Kyle were jerks and I should have never put you through that.”
“It’s not about … about them.” I couldn’t meet his gaze and glanced down at Alyce’s velvet black boots, noticing a smudge of grass on the right toe but not bothering to wipe it away.
“Has something else happened?”
Lying would be the easiest hard thing to do.
“Yes,” I admitted, nodding. “But it’s my problem and no one else can solve it.”
“No one?” He snorted. “Since when did you become Goddess and rule the world? Come off it, Amber. Tell me what’s wrong or I’ll start singing to you at the top of my lungs so everyone will stare at us like we’re crazy.”
And he would have. He’d done it once … no, twice … before. He didn’t give a crap what anyone thought of him. I was going to miss him so much.
Dustin was opening his mouth, ready to belt out a Broadway tune or something equally humiliating. So I reached out and put my hand over his mouth. Then I led him down the hall to Alyce’s locker, which was in a remote corner away from the rush and bustle of other students.
“It’s Eli — he’s in terrible trouble because of me … ” My voice caught and, to my own surprise, I told Dustin the truth. Well, the least humiliating parts. I admitted to meeting with Gabe, believing that he wanted to change but turning him down when he asked me to be his “forever” companion. But I didn’t mention “fusing” or the way Gabe made me feel when we lifted out of our bodies.
“So Eli is now this Dark Lifer dude Gabe?” Dustin asked with wide, dark eyes.
“Yeah,” I answered, shivering.
“And where is Eli?”
“I–I don’t know.” Worry sliced like a knife through my heart.
“He’s not … ” Dustin’s breath caught.
“No … not yet. He’s just lost, somewhere in soul limbo, waiting to come back to his body. But he might not be able to … not if Gabe hurts him, and he will if I don’t go with him willingly.”
“But you can’t go with him! That’s suicide — literally!”
“What choice do I have? He threatened to kill Eli.” I bit my trembling lip, shoving away my fears so I could do the right thing. “I won’t let that happen.”
“You mean … you’d just give up and die?”
I nodded.
“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard you say and I’ve known you for a long time. I repeat — you do not rule the world. Use that smart head of yours and get some help from someone with the right contacts.”
“Who?”
“Your grandmother.” His expression brightened and he pointed beyond me. “And here she comes now.”
Grabbing his arm, I leaned close to hiss in his ear, “Don’t you tell her anything!”
“But she can help you.”
“No, she’ll switch me back before I finish my mission and I won’t be able to help Alyce. Then Gabe will get revenge by killing Eli!”
“You don’t know that for sure.”
“Trust me on this,” I said, wincing at my own words. “He will.”
“There you are!” Grammy said, coming over with relief on her face. Well, my face, although she’d done something with blue eye shadow and pink lipstick that made me cringe. My hair, usually a mop of curls, hung straight, which actually looked cool. But the clothes Grammy chose for me were like something a four-year-old would wear to a birthday party.
I was hurting too much inside to care, though, and had to struggle just to speak in a normal voice. “Hi … Amber,” I said carefully. “What are you doing here?”
“Following my Host Body’s schedule — no matter how painful. What’s with the two-ton backpack?” She groaned as she shifted the weight of my canvas backpack on her shoulders. “There are like a dozen books in here. You’ll be stooped over like a senior citizen before you’re thirty. Aren’t you worried about having back problems?”
“No — I have worse problems. Like my grandmother going to school in my body. Why didn’t you fake being sick and stay home?”
“And miss experiencing high school again? This is like a second chance. I probably shouldn’t admit this, but I wasn’t a good student like you. I was too busy flirting with cute guys, cutting classes to sneak smokes, and staying out late drag racing. I was the oldest of seven kids so my parents didn’t catch what was going on until I was suspended.”
“Suspended?” My hand flew to my mouth. “Why?”
“For getting caught in the teacher’s lounge — with a cute teaching assistant. Not one of my proudest moments. I’m much wiser now and—” She stopped abruptly, tilting her head to look closely at me. “But why are your eyes so red? Amb … Alyce, have you been crying?”
“I … I … um … ” Speechless, I shot Dustin a “Help me!” glance.
“Allergies.” Dustin patted my arm sympathetically. “She’s a weepy, snotty mess.”
I sniffled dramatically. “Alyce is allergic to pollen, trees, and grass.”
“And she’s too thin,” Grammy added with a disapproving head shake. “Make sure you eat healthy so she’ll be in better shape when she returns.”
“Is the switch still on for tonight?” I asked uneasily.
“Unless the Dark Lifer is found before midnight. You’ve done a good job, honey, but you can’t expect to solve everything. Being a Temp Lifer isn’t about solving problems, it’s about standing in so your Host—”
“—Soul can solve their own problems,” I finished.
Only I didn’t believe it and ached with guilt, knowing I was letting Alyce down. So that Grammy couldn’t read my expression, I turned to Alyce’s locker and spun the combination I knew by heart: 13-46-03. It was easy for me to remember number combinations, but Alyce (not math-gifted) had to use memory tricks. “Thirteen is my favorite number since most people think it’s unlucky,” she’d told me. “Mom will be 46 when I’m 20 and I have three freckles on my right thumb.”
I looked down at her thumb, my eyes filling and blurring the tiny freckles. But everything else was crystal clear to me. I would do what whatever it took to protect the people I loved.
With new determination, I told Grammy there was one last thing I had to do for Alyce. Then I searched the locker, checking folders, books, and papers until I saw purple.
I’d found Alyce’s top secret, private purple notebook.
* * *
Pages full of drawings and Alyce’s handwriting. I flipped through them, while Grammy and Dustin watched me curiously. There was too much to explain, so I gave Dustin a look that translated to “I need some time alone.” He gave me a “gotcha” nod, then offered to take Grammy to my first class since I was headed the other direction to Alyce’s homeroom. I could tell Grammy was suspicious, but she also seemed a little nervous (first-day-of-school jitters?) and left with Dustin.
The warning bell rang, so I skimmed faster, searching for the words “grave,” “Green Briar,” or “Sam.” And in the middle of the notebook, I found them all — along with a strange drawing of a large, steep staircase leading up to a beautiful angel. Something about the drawing tickled my memory, as if I’d seen this angel before, but that wasn’t likely since Alyce didn’t share her private notebook, even with me.
I understood why, too, as I read her heartfelt agony over her mother’s depression; Mrs. Perfetti would cry for days and wouldn’t get out of bed.
