fishing by the seaside, and as I was drawing a thundering fish out of the water, so very large that it made my rod crack again, behold, there comes up to me a pretty damsel, with a lovely mixture of roses and lilies in her cheeks, tall and straight as a cedar that likes the ground it grows in.
Thought I to myself, I am a lucky dog today; fortune favours me in both elements, and now I am like to get a better prize on land than I drew just now out of the water.
'Honest friend,' cries she, 'I conjure you by Neptune to look after my clothes a little, while I wash myself in the sea.'
This request, you may imagine, was not unwelcome to me, because it would give me an opportunity to see something.
She had no sooner thrown off her rigging, but, good heavens! there was a sight enough to have spoiled the most virtuous resolutions of the severest philosopher; from between her hair, which was of a lovely black, and flowed down her shoulders in great quantity, I discovered a pair of rosy cheeks, and an ivory neck, that wholly possessed me with admiration and surprise; both these colours were in the highest perfection, but they derived no little agreement from the neighbourhood of the black.
To return to our nymph: She had no sooner undressed but she plunged foremost into the waves. The sea was as smooth as a bowling green, and when she appeared above the water, had I not seen her before, I durst have sworn she had been one of the Nereids of whom the poets tell us so many stories.
When she had washed as long as she thought fit, out she came, and from such a sight as this our painters, I suppose, were instructed how to draw Venus rising out of the sea. I immediately ran to my lovely damsel to deliver her her clothes, and when she was so near me could not forbear to touch her bubbles, amp;c. But to see what ill fate attends me. The young gypsy blushed and frowned at me; but even her very anger became her; it gave a fresh lustre to her beauty, and her eyes darted lightning at me. Then in her indignation she broke my rod, flung my fish into the sea, and ran away from me as fast as her legs could carry her. Imagine in what a confusion she left me. I lamented the loss of what I had taken with so much pain, but the loss of her, whom I had as it were in my hands, afflicted me infinitely more. This disappointment in short so mortifies me that I dare no longer trust myself with the cruel idea of it.
Last week Hippias and I were taking a turn in the park, when on a sudden he thus accosted me: 'Friend,' says he, 'pr'ythee mind that lady yonder, that leans upon her maid's arm. How tall! How straight! How well featured she is! By heavens, she is a miracle of a woman! Let us e'en cross the walk, and accost her.'
'Why,' replied I to him, 'you are mad, I think. Unless I am mistaken in her outside, she is a woman of virtue, and consequently no game for such as you and I; but if you are resolved to proceed, let us view her a little more distinctly before we board her, for I love to look about me before I leap.'
My companion fell a laughing as if he had been distracted, and striking me gently on the shoulder, 'Thou art a novice,' said he, 'I find in these affairs. Take it from me, all the women in the world are made of sinful materials; one may have more hypocrisy than another, but if you put it home to her, I'll engage you'll find her true flesh and blood. But, alas, you are a perfect stranger to the town intrigues, otherwise how could you imagine that any woman of honour would be walking here at this time of the day, and dart her glances so artfully on all she meets? Pr'ythee observe, how she plays with her necklace, how shyly she steals her pretty hand out of her glove; and if she went to reform some disorder in her dress, how dexterously she discovers her breasts. From these and a thousand other indications I conclude that this lady will not let a man sigh at her feet in vain. But, what is more convincing, I now tipped the wink at her, and she as kindly returned it; therefore let us go and board the vessel, for I dare engage she will make no resistance.'
He had no sooner spoke these words, but he makes directly to the prize above-mentioned, and finding a fit opportunity, he thus made his addresses to her: 'I swear by your beauty, the most sacred oath to me that can be, you have made yourself in a moment the absolute sovereign of my heart; and if you please to order that eavesdropping maid of yours to retire to some distance, I have something to communicate to you which perhaps you will not be displeased to hear.'
She accordingly commanded her attendant to file off, when the other in this manner pursued his discourse — 'As I know that love is no cameleon, to live upon air, I am not so unreasonable as to demand any favours of you gratis, and on the other hand, madam, I am sure that you are too conscientious to put too high a price on them. Gold, you know, may be too dearly bought; but I hope you will comply with the running market price. I have, madam, two things to plead for me, vigour and wealth; but I would, by my good will, husband both of them so as to make them hold out — come, give me your answer.'
The lady's eyes sufficiently declared the consent of her heart, she stood still and blushed, and such a beautiful red streaked her cheeks as we find in the heavens when the sun is just setting. When my friend found the bargain as good as struck, he turned about to me, and said — 'What do you think now of my skill in these affairs? You would have dissuaded me, forsooth, from this expedition, but now you see how I have succeeded; for at the expense of a few words and a little time I have brought the nymph to surrender. You, alas, are such an heretic as to believe there are women in the world above flattery, corruption, and bribery; but you are in a damned mistake. Follow me, and I will show you some sport; but in the meantime take this for granted, that there is no garrison so strong, and no woman so obstinately virtuous, but by one practice or other both may be brought to take a new master.'
You remember me troubled with all the symptoms of love, and desire to know how I got cured of it. I used to entertain my passion in the fields and solitary groves, which, instead of abating, grew every day fiercer, and raged with more violence in my breast. As I walked by the purling streams, May Cupid, said I, and his mother, for they, and only they, knew what torments I languish under, give me courage enough to make a declaration of my passion, which hitherto I have stifled within me. As love has transfixed with
his darts this tender breast of mine, so I hope he will in the same manner treat the fair insensible who has given me so many cruel inquietudes.
One day it happened that after I had amused myself with these contemplations in the woods, I found I had resolution enough to venture on an interview with my mistress. I went accordingly to her home and had a long conversation with her, wherein I found the beauties of her mind to be not at all inferior to those of her face. Her looks wore all the bewitching marks of the most agreeable innocence. I admired her hand, the whitest and softest in the world — I viewed, with sacred horror, those killing eyes, that penetrate quicker and deeper than lightning. To complete my ruin, she showed me a delicious pair of breasts, as it were by accident, on which the god of love himself would be proud to recline his head. All this while my tongue was tied with a religious awe, and I had not assurance enough to acquaint her with my pain; however, I was very intent upon my mental devotion, and prayed to Cupid, that since he knew my imbecility so well, which I wholly imputed to himself, he would so effectually touch my mistress's heart, that she of her own accord should own her affection for me. I had no sooner concluded these pious ejaculations but I found the god had heard my prayers; for my mistress, who looked so coy and demure at my first coming into the room, on the sudden smiled very graciously upon me, and gently squeezed me by the hand, and then, no longer able to conceal the vehemence of her desires, she impressed so warm a kiss upon my lips that I was in good hopes the seal would never have parted from the wax; all the sweet of Arabia the Happy, all the fragrant odours of the Eastern world, all the blooming beauties of the spring, and the incense that is offered on the altars of our gods comes infinitely short of the natural sweetness of her breath. But here I will stop my narration, for what need I trouble myself to send every particular to you, who are old enough to imagine them of yourself? Only this I will add, that we strove all night long which of us should express their love in the most emphatieal manner, and that that saucy intruder sleep found us to well employed to offer to interrupt us.
ANTIQUITY OF HARLOTS
