Succubs on Top

dawn and took a cab back to Queen Anne, my body still aching. I hadn't wanted to talk to him. He'd slept so heavily, he hadn't heard me leave. No guilt weighed him down.

But me? My cup of guilt was runnething over. Not only that, I still had to make the next decision in this mess: to tell or not to tell? That was what had really bothered me all day at work. The past was over; I could only worry about it for so long. My attention now focused on how to proceed with the future.

Fortunately, Seth had worked from home today, which helped a little. He and I eventually had plans to meet up in the evening, but until that happened, I still had time to come up with something. Anything. Yet when I walked home at the end of my shift, I was no closer to an answer than I had been at the beginning of the day.

Miserable, I pulled up a chair at my kitchen table and sat down with pen and paper. Aubrey jumped up on the table's flat surface and lay down to watch me, half of her sprawling on the page. I slid her off and made the following list:

 DONT TELL SETH

Pros: status quo resumes, he won't be upset

Cons: my own gnawing guilt, totally blowing the honesty thing

I considered the list for a moment, surprised that neither the pro nor con side had more items. It was just that simple. Moving farther down the paper, I wrote up the reciprocal list.

TELL SETH

Pros: right thing to do

Cons: admitting I'm an idiot, painfully emotional blowout, inevitable breakup, a literal eternity of heart- wrenching sorrow and regret

I held the pen and looked back and forth between both lists.

'This isn't really clearing things up, Aubrey.' In an effort to relieve my frustration, I hurled the pen somewhere into my living room. She watched it sail off with interest and then darted off to confirm the kill.

'What do you need to tell Seth?'

'Jesus!' I yelled, practically jumping ten feet in the air. Carter had appeared out of nowhere and now stood beside the table, looking casual and laconic. He wore a black T-shirt over a gray thermal shirt and the same jeans I swear he'd had on for the last couple decades. 'Don't do that, okay? Knocking isn't a lost art.'

'Sorry.' He pulled a chair out and straddled it, so his long arms draped lazily over the back. Flipping his stringy blond hair out of the way, he gestured toward my list. 'Didn't mean to interrupt.'

'You're not,' I muttered, crumpling up the paper. I tossed that into the living room too, so Aubrey could have more to hunt.

'Anything you want to talk about?' he offered.

I hesitated. Of all the people I knew, only Carter had been a steadfast believer in Seth and me having a serious relationship. He was the only one who hadn't treated it as a joke. In some ways, that might have made him a good confidante, yet it also disqualified him. I could not confess to the one person who had believed in me just how seriously I had messed things up in a weak moment.

'No,' I said brusquely. 'But I assume you have something to talk about.'

He eyed me a moment, like he might push me on what I clearly held back, but then he let the matter go. 'I have something for you.'

He extended a balled fist. When he opened it, I found a small pouch lying on his palm. I picked it up and stroked the material. I had no idea what it was, but the cloth's smooth texture felt like a flower petal. I started to open it.

'Don't,' he warned. His commanding tone instantly made me stop. 'You'll break the spell.'

'What spell?'

'The one that masks what's inside the pouch. And the one that masks your immortal signature. '

I nodded with understanding. I might not know what to do with my own love life, but immortal conspiracies I could follow. 'To hide me and this from Alec's supplier.'

The angel nodded in return.

I held up the pouch and waggled it at him. 'So do I get to know what's in there?'

'It's a…' He paused, not from a reluctance to tell me but to search for the right word. 'It's a dart, I guess. Or maybe…like, an arrowhead. But that sounds weird. Nah, let's call it a dart. It's only about an inch long. A dart that looks like a small wooden arrowhead.'

'Um. Okay. Got it. And what do I do with this darting arrowhead thing?'

'You pierce the other immortal's heart with it.'

'Whoa. Like…staking a vampire?'

'Uh, not entirely. You'll sort of have to see when the time comes. The key is to move fast. As soon as you open the pouch, he'll know what you are and what's in there. You don't want to give him time to react because it won't be pretty if he does. Act fast, and don't second-guess yourself.'

'How is a small piece of wood going to solve all our problems?'

'It's special wood,' he replied with a grin.

'Oh, yeah, that explains everything.'

'Are you close to meeting him?'

'Terribly close, actually. I probably could have met him yesterday if I'd wanted. Alec was very keen on introducing us.'

Carter frowned, turning this over in his mind. 'Hmm. Odd.'

'Should I be worried?'

'No more worried than you already should be at the thought of attacking an immortal.'

'But I'll be fine if I just act fast and don't overthink it, huh?'

'Right. I imagine that's pretty common for you anyway.'

'Anything else I should know?'

'Well…let's see. Yeah. One thing. Don't actually do it until there's provocation.'

'What?' I stared. 'Being a bastard who pushes addictive substances that destroy mortals isn't provocation enough?'

'Oddly, no. You have to be threatened in some way.'

Annoyed, I tossed the pouch onto the table. This was so typical of Carter and Jerome. A bizarrely complex scheme with ridiculous nuances and loopholes. 'Threatened? How can he threaten me? He can't unless…wait, he's not an immortal who could kill me, is he?'

'No, of course not. But he could make things very…uncomfortable for you. Anyway, there's a lot of ways to threaten a person. If he hurts you…or you feel vulnerable…like he could abuse his power over you, then that'll work. He's a stronger immortal than you. Preying on you— especially when you belong to Jerome, so to speak—is a big no-no. You would be justified in protecting yourself. But, if you attack wantonly, you'll get in trouble from the powers that be for targeting other immortals. You'll also get us in trouble for arming you.'

'This sounds kind of like entrapment.'

'That's an ugly word. Let's just keep it in terms of self-defense.'

'So, you think things are going to get rough enough that I'll actually need self-defense?'

He hesitated. 'I don't know. I just don't know.'

'Yeah, but then, if this guy's perfectly nice and just sells me a stash of ambrosia, I can't do anything? We've wasted the trip?'

'Like I said, I don't know. Really. But honestly…if they're making it this easy to find him, I have to think something weird is going on. Just be careful, okay?' His face was all seriousness now. 'You're smart. You can pull this off.'

'And I don't suppose, at any point in this, you're going to tell me who this guy actually is?'

'I believe ignorance is bliss.'

I threw my hands up, not knowing what else to say. Carter traded a few more jokes with me and then rose to go. Hesitating, he gave me a curious look.

'You sure you don't want to talk? You've obviously got something bugging you. '

'I do. But I've got to deal with it on my own.'

'Fair enough. See ya.' An eyeblink later, the angel disappeared.