Succubs on Top

Seth showed up about an hour later, a little blue paint smudged on his face. 'Terry and Andrea are painting the kitchen now.'

I smiled at him, swallowing all the churning emotions within me. 'How can you get so messy when you don't even do the painting?'

I found a washcloth and dabbed at his face in a fruitless effort to clean him up. Standing so close, I suddenly had a flashback to last night. His hands stroking my breasts. Feeling him inside of me, filling me up. Our bodies moving together. His lips parting slightly when he came.

'It won't come off,' I said abruptly, jerking away.

'Oh. Okay.'

I stayed moody and silent for the rest of the night, stiff and distant at any sort of touching. Seth picked up on the vibe right away and let me have my space. We walked a few blocks down the street to a theater that only showed Oscar nominees and artsy, independent films. We saw one of the latter, and I have to admit, it did take my mind off my love life, if only for two hours.

Sitting at an Italian restaurant afterward, I let him draw me into a discussion of the film's merits. It amazed me that my mouth could keep up with the conversation while the rest of me was in an entirely different world.

Over and over, I replayed what had happened last night— and not just the sex part. I analyzed everything, the events that had led up to it. Why had I done it? What had made me give in? Had it really been an altruistic attempt to fix Seth and me by removing the temptation? Had it been an aching desire to take comfort in Bastien? Or, most likely, had it been something selfish on my part? A burning desire to touch what I wasn't supposed to have—not because it might help our relationship, but because I just wanted to do it. I had wanted that pleasure. I had craved his body and simply gave in to the hedonism I longed for. I was a creature of hell, after all. I had observed before that we weren't exactly known for our self-control.

Yet none of that changed the fact that it had happened. It had happened, and I had to do something about it. Or…did I?

Seth sat across from me, looking happy and content as we talked. Ignorance really is bliss sometimes. I thought back to the lists. If he never found out, the truth couldn't hurt him. We could go on as we had. The only problem would be that I knew the truth. I had to live with this betrayal, not only of our physical relationship but also of our attempts at honesty and openness. One more entry on the list of dark and nasty secrets I already kept.

'You with me, Thetis?' he asked suddenly.

'Huh?'

He gave me a small, sweet smile and moved his hand over to hold mine. I squeezed it back. 'You look like you're miles away. '

I gave him a half-smile in return. Apparently I wasn't as subtle as I thought. I looked at him, studying those beloved features, and shook my head. I couldn't do it. I couldn't tell him. Not yet.

'Just tired,' I lied.

We shared a dish of gelato and then returned to my apartment. We had just set up the Scrabble board when I felt immortal signatures approaching.

I groaned, not wanting to deal with this. 'Hail, hail, the gang's all here.'

Seth looked puzzled until we heard the knock at the door. I opened it, letting in Hugh, Peter, Cody, and Bastien.

'You are alive,' said Peter cheerfully, smothering me in a hug. 'We tried calling you tonight.'

'And I've been trying to get a hold of you all day,' added Bastien pointedly.

I was perfectly aware that he had called me many times. I had purposely not answered my phone.

'Sorry,' I said to all of them.

'Hey, Seth,' said Cody, clapping the writer on the back. The vampire and the rest of the immortals spread themselves out around my living room like they lived there. I gave their giggling and careless behavior a withering glance.

'You guys been barhopping?'

'Yup,' said Hugh with pride. 'You—both of you—could have joined us.'

'Fortunately, the night is still young,' declared Bastien. He strolled around the living room, arching an appalled eyebrow at the Scrabble board. 'When you didn't answer, we decided to come issue an invitation in person.'

'We're going to go shoot pool,' explained Cody happily. 'Over at that place in Belltown. You guys should come along.' He gave Seth a conspiratorial grin. 'Georgina's a wicked pool player.'

'Thetis is good at everything,' Seth murmured automatically. I could tell by his body language he wasn't comfortable with a bunch of drunken immortals in the room. I also knew he didn't want to go out.

'Sorry, guys,' I told them. 'We've already been out. We're staying in.'

This earned snide remarks and groans of disapproval.

'Oh come on,' begged Hugh, trying to get Aubrey's attention with a cat toy on a string. She didn't fall for it and hissed at him instead. 'We always get better service when you go with us.'

'Besides,' said Bastien nastily. 'It doesn't look you're doing anything else exciting. You should be grateful we came along. We're giving you something. Something you couldn't otherwise get.'

I remained calm, but I think the others picked up on the sudden tension in the air. 'Sorry,' I repeated. 'We're staying in. You guys can hang out for a little bit, but then I've got to kick you out. We're doing our own thing. '

'I wasn't aware you guys did anything at all,' muttered Bastien in a voice only I heard. Maybe the vampires too, with their superhuman hearing.

'You got anything to drink?' asked Peter, gently nudging me toward being a good hostess.

I was still locked in a battle of wills and eye contact with the incubus. 'Yeah, I just bought a six-pack of Smirnoff Ice.'

'Oh,' said Cody. 'Score.'

He and Hugh raided my refrigerator, passing out bottles of prissy malted beverage to everyone except Seth and me. We abstained. Lounging around, conversation on silly topics soon ensued, although Bastien, Seth, and I did not participate. Seth stayed quiet because he always stayed quiet in such settings. Bastien and I stayed quiet because we were pissed off at each other.

I excused myself for the restroom and found Bastien waiting outside the door for me when I finished.

'Alcohol runs right through you, huh?' I asked, pushing past him.

He blocked my way, backing me up against the wall.

'What the hell's wrong with you?' he demanded in a low voice.

'Nothing. Let me go.'

'Bullshit. I left you like a hundred messages. You're avoiding me.'

'So? It's my prerogative. Just like that song.'

He snorted. 'Let me guess. You're having some sort of melodramatic moral crisis over what happened last night. That's so typical of you lately.'

'Don't talk to me about last night. You shouldn't have done what you did.'

'Is houldn't have? My God, Fleur ,don't act like you're the victim here. Nobody forced you. You more than consented. In fact, I daresay you enjoyed it.'

'It was a mistake.'

'And so avoiding me is going to fix it? Don't delude yourself. It wasn't a mistake. It was good for you. I helped you. I gave you something you would have never gotten otherwise. You'll remember it for the rest of your life.'

'Gee,' I said, dripping sarcasm. 'How kind of you. Because that's really all there was to it, wasn't there? You only did it to help me. Nothing more. You certainly didn't do it just because you could. Because I was 'beautiful and I was wonderful and you wanted me.' '

'Listen to me—'

'No. You listen to me. If I want to avoid you, let me avoid you. Don't show up at my house drunk and try to force your way into a dialogue. It makes you more of an asshole than you'd be otherwise. I don't want to talk to you. Not anytime soon. Maybe not ever.'

'Forever's a long time.' He leaned closer, one hand on my arm. 'Don't you think you're overreacting to one fuck? Besides, you can't cut me off. You've got to help me with Dana.'