'You know why I haven't been for so long?' 'Why?' 'I think I'm bad for you.' Willy was drinking the whisky. 'You know that's not so, Theo.' 'It is. You need brisk ordinary people. You and I always talk metaphysics. But all metaphysics is devilish, devilish.' 'There is no good metaphysics?' 'No. Nothing about that can be said.' 'Sad for the human race, since we are such natural prattlers.' 'Yes. We are natural prattlers. And that deepens, prolongs, spreads and intensifies our evil.' 'Come, come,' said Willy. 'Very few people know of these devilish theories you speak of.' 'They have their influence. They pervade, they pervade. They produce illusions of knowledge. Even what we are most certain of we know only in an illusory form.' 'Such as what?» 'Such as that all is vanity. All is vanity, Willy, and man walks in a vain shadow. You and I are the only people here who know this, which is why we are bad for each other. We have to chatter about it. You and I are the only people here who know, but we also know that we do not know. Our hearts are too corrupt to know such a thing as truth, we know it only as illusion.' 'Is there no way out? ff 'There are a million ways out on this side, back into the fantasy of ordinary life. Muffins for tea is a way out. Propertius is a way out. But these are just boltholes. One ought to be able to get… through… to the other side.' 'You may be right about Propertius,' said Willy, 'but I would like to say a good word for muffins for tea.' 'Mary.' 'No, no, not Mary. Mary is something else. Just muffins for tea.' 'There are muffins and muffins,' Theo conceded. 'But let us take Propertius now. What is the point of all this activity of yours, what are you really after? Senseless agitation, senseless agitation, the filling of a void which for your eternal salvation had much better be left unfilled. Is your edition of Propertius going to be a great work of scholarship?' 'No.' 'Is it necessary to the human race?' 'No.' 'It's not great, it's not even necessary. It's mediocre, it's a time-filler. Why do you do it?' Willy reflected for a moment. He said, 'It expresses my love for Propertius and my love for Latin. Love needs to be exT-NATG-Epressed, it needs to do work. This may be something which cannot be stated in your devilish metaphysics without being somehow falsified, but it is… an indubitable good. And if there is an indubitable good within one's reach one stretches out one's hand.' 'Permit me to correct your description, my dear Willy. The object of love here is yourself, this is the value which you attempt with Latin and with Propertius to exalt and to defend.' 'That is possible,' said Willy. 'But I don't see why one should necessarily know. You are a great one for not knowing things. Let's not know that, shall we?' Theo had left the window and was standing by the table leaning down upon his knuckles and regarding his host. The front of his jacket was hanging open revealing a crumpled shirt, stained brown braces and a dirty woollen vest. From this inwardness of Theo a mingled smell of sweat and dog was beamed across the pile of open books and dictionaries. Willy shifted, rubbing a thin ankle with a small delicate hand. 'And after Propertius, what? T 'Another time-filler, I suppose.' 'Did they tell you about that chap who committed suicide?' 'No,' said Willy, surprised. 'Who?' 'Oh, no one we know, as Kate would say. Just some meaningless fellow in my dear brother's office. They're all agog. It's the jolliest thing that's happened since Octavian's CBE. They're keeping it from you, you know why! You're becoming a sort of sacred object to the people down there.' 'They shouldn't worry about me,' Willy mumbled. 'I shall stay out my time.' 'Yes, I think you will,' said Theo, 'though I don't know why. I don't know why I do. I feel ill all the time now. And I can't stand it down there, that's why I came up here to torment you. It's getting worse down there. They're all watching each other ever so sweetly. Homo homini lupus, Willy, homo homini lupus. They're all of them sex maniacs and they don't even know it. There's my dear brother, that perfect 0, getting erotic vvny nun paruon Lnem a flue, sail vvniy. iney uont uo much harm. You rail on us all for not being saints.' 'Yes, yes, yes. And when I stop that railing I shall be dead. It is the only thing I know and I shall cry it out again and again, like a tedious little bird with only one song.' 'If you know that much you must know more. There is then a light in which you judge us.' 'Yes,' said Theo. 'The light shows me evil, but it gives me no hope of good, not a shred of hope, not a shred.' 'You must be wrong,' said Willy. 'You must be wrong.' 'You express a touching and very fundamental form of religious faith. Nevertheless there are the damned.' 'Theo,' said Willy. 'Tell me sometime, tell me perhaps now, what really happened to you in India, what happened?' Theo, his narrowed pointed face thrust well forward over the table, shook his head. 'No, no, my heart, no.' He said after a moment. 'You, Willy, tell me sometime, tell me perhaps now, what it was like for you… in that place.' Willy was silent, regarding one hand and seeming to count the fingers with the thumb. He said slowly, 'It might be possible… some time… to tell you.' 'Bosh,' said Theo. 'You mustn't tell me, you must never tell me, such things can't be told, I wouldn't listen.' He lurched back from the table and came round behind Willy. He put his large thick hands down on to Willy's shoulders, feeling the small catlike bones. He kneaded the flesh with his fingers. He said, 'I am a very foolish man, Willy.' 'I know you are. A certain kouros ' 'Damn kouroi. You must forgive me, absolve me.' 'You're always wanting to be forgiven. What do you want to be forgiven for? Presumably not for being rude and negligent and disloyal and selfish and…' 'No!' They both laughed. 'I can forgive you, Theo. I can't absolve you. You must absolve yourself. Pardon the past and let it go… absolutely . away: . Theo leaned down until his brow was touching the silky white hair. He closed his eyes and let his arms slide forward over Willy's shoulders to receive the comfort he had come to receive, the close caressing pressure of Willy's hands upon his. 'Octavian, I've discovered something rather odd.' 'Sit down, John. I must say I'm glad you've discovered something, odd or otherwise. What is it?' 'Listen,' said Ducane. 'I went to see McGrath yesterday evening at his house ' 'Was McGrath blackmailing Radeechy?' 'Yes, he was, but that's not important. McGrath mentioned Biranne. He said Biranne was often at Radeechy's place.' 'Biranne? I thought he didn't know Radeechy at all.' 'So he led us to suppose. Well, I didn't express any surprise, I just made McGrath go on talking, and I got him back on to what exactly happened when he came to Radeechy's room after the shot was fired, and something
