Caught Stealing

I open the door and climb out. The driver’s window zips down, weed smoke and Barry waft out. Mario smiles at me from behind his glasses. I take three hundreds from my pocket and hand them to him. He nods his head.

– Sweet.

He reaches inside his jacket, takes out a card and hands it to me. It’s glossy black and hasMario etched across its face in gold Gothic script. Beneath his name it sayssweet and then a phone number. I tuck the card in my pocket and he puts out his hand. I give him some skin.

– You need a lift, call me.

I nod. His window zips back up and the Lincoln pulls away smoothly and disappears around a corner.

There’s a White Castle just up the street and my mouth actually waters at the thought of steam- grilledminiburgers, but it’s just another public place where I could be spotted. The duplex in front of me is a two- story wood job, exactly the kind of building they don’t have in Manhattan. In fact, the tallest buildings around here are no more than six stories. The sky seems huge and open and I can see storm clouds moving in from the south.

I walk up to the right-hand door and push the little black button set into the door frame. I hear a chime and then a loud buzz and a click as the door unlatches for me. I step quickly inside and the buzz stops. I close the door and I’m standing in a small entryway with a linoleum floor and Sheetrock walls and an old steel factory door in front of me. There’s an intercom unit set into the wall next to the door with the Plexiglas-shielded lens of avideocamera above it. I push the talk button.

– I’m Billy.

A moment’s pause, then another buzz and click and I push the steel door open and step through.

It’s not really a duplex. The interior of the ground floor has been gutted to make a single large space. It looks like a living area. I can see a couch and a TV and, off in a corner, a bed. But I can’t see much more because of the guy standing in front of me, holding the big gun.

The gun is a Desert Eagle.45. I know because I have seen it waved around by so many bad guys on TV. The dude on the other side of the gun is in his twenties, has black hair with bleached tips, is wearing a vintageStar Wars T-shirt over very groovy green corduroys and has the prettiest blue eyes I have ever seen. He blinks them and shakes his head tightly from side to side.

– Get the fuck out,Maddog.

Clearly there has been a misunderstanding.

– I’m Billy.

The gun is pointed at my face.

– You’re a fucking mad dog killer. Get the fuck out.

Oh.

– No, I’m.

– Get the fuck out so I don’t have to figure out a way to get rid of your fucking corpse.

– Tim sent me.

– No shit. If you see him before the cops gun you down, you can tell him I’m pissed. Get.The. Fuck. Out.

– Can I show you something?

I start to move my hand toward my jacket pocket.

– Don’t put your hand in that pocket.

My fingertips are inside my jacket. He jabs the barrel of the gun an inch closer to my face.

– Don’t put your hand in that pocket.

My fingers are all the way inside. The gun moves closer still and the end of the barrel nowlooks big enough for me to stick my head inside. My hand is in the pocket.

– Leave it there. Leave your hand in that fucking pocket.

I start to take my hand out.

– Don’t! Don’t!

He has the barrel of the gun stuck up against my right eyebrow. He’s got his arm stretched out to the limit. Trying to keep as far from me as possible so he won’t be splashed by too much of my blood when he shoots me, I suppose. My hand is out of my pocket. His pretty eyes are locked on mine.

– Drop it. Fucking drop it.

I drop it and it hits the floor with a soft flap. We stand there. Then he takes three quick steps straight back away from me and looks down at the bundle of hundreds on the floor.

– It’s about nine grand. I have a bit more on me, but I might need it. I can get more to you later. I didn’t kill any of those people they say I did.

He looks from the cash to me and back again.

– How much more?

– Alot, but it may take a while.

He looks down again, the gun still on me, and then backs up.

– Fuck it. Nine’s good for now.

He stuffs the gun in his waistband.

– I’mBilly. Let’s go up to the shop and get started. Bring the money.

He turns and heads for a spiral steel staircase over by the bed. I pick up the cash and follow.

Billy has an awesome stereo. Most of the components are exotic German stuff I’ve never heard of, the speakers wired throughout his workshop to provide virtually flawless surround sound no matter where you stand. We’re listening to the Psychedelic Furs’Mirror Moves. I haven’t heard this stuff since high school. It’s really kind of cool. Billy moves around the shop, switching on various pieces of computer equipment and gathering tools and materials.

– These guys really never got their due,ya know? There was so much crap being ground out in the early eighties that they just kind of fell through the gap, except for “Pretty in Pink.” And that was more a hit because of the movie, which I do love, don’t get me wrong. But listen.

I listen.

– This stuff holds up. Try listening to fucking ABC or Flock of Seagulls now, or even DuranDuran and it just sounds dated.Totally dated.

The second floor has been gutted just like the first, but up here it’s all shop space. Billy sets stuff out on a bench next to his drafting table and a custom desktopcomputer, that looks to be based around a couple Power Mac G4s. He waves me a bit closer and switches on a set of lamps and shines them in my face.

– Come here. Let me get a good look at you,Maddog.

I step closer and he takes hold of my chin and tilts my face this way and that in the light.

– I’m not a mad dog.

He lets go of my face and takes a step back to look me over.

– I didn’t kill those people. I’m not a mad dog.

He sits down in front of his computer.

– At this point, man, I don’t really give a fuck.

– I do.

He looks at me over his shoulder.

– Fair enough,Maddog. As long as you’re paying, you didn’t kill anybody. But like I said, I really don’t give a fuck. So can it and I’ll try and get some work done.

I sit on a folding metal chair, unzip Bud and take him out. He’s awake, but a little dopey I think. Those pills kind of knock him out. I put him on the floor and he curls up under my chair. Billy starts doing things with the computer and pieces of paper and plastic and pens and razor blades and ink. I stay out of the way.

– I’m gonna give you some hair.

Hours have passed. Billy sent out to the White Castle and had a sack of burgers and fries delivered. It was really good. Bud is walking around, checking stuff out. I’ve been watching Billy, doing what he tells me to.

– It will be better if the passport and the driver’s license show you with some hair, especially if it’s two different styles. That way everything doesn’t look like it was done at the same time. Thing is, I don’t want to give you your natural color,cuz then you’ll just look like the Wanted posters. So you’re gonna be blond, OK?

– Sure.