Eighteen Kisses

same, but this was unbelievably similar. I felt a shiver run down my back. I could hear the clinking of the camera and the clip-clop of the heels and I could see the brown eyes of the man in the balaclava.

‘Jacki,’ said Ellie. ‘You don’t look well at all. Do you want to go home?’

‘No thanks,’ I said. ‘I’ll be fine.’

I would. I had to be. This was clearly a sign.

One thing I learned the next morning was that it’s really, REALLY cold in the Dublin mountains at 7 a.m., even in May. Ellie, Cliona and Patricia were all wearing fur jackets – they’d obviously done this before. I tried to stop shivering and concentrate on what I had to do. Willis Middleton was sitting on one of those director’s chairs, wearing skinny jeans, a loose white T-shirt, a black leather jacket and lots of beads round his neck. He was holding a copy of his latest record, a concept album entitled Fear.

‘And for one last question… what scares you?’ asked the reporter, in a very serious voice.

‘Hmm… I’m not sure,’ said Willis. ‘I guess… nothing!’

Willis rarely does interviews, so everybody had been warned to be extra nice to him. ‘Humour him,’ were the words Ellie had used. I was too busy looking around, hoping to see the barbed-wire fence. We’d driven up a road that was uncannily similar to the one from my dream and walked through the unkempt grass, but I was yet to find the most important place. I thought maybe I’d see Kayla, but nothing had happened yet. I tried wandering off a few times, but each time Ellie would call me back to make sure Willis had enough water or enough choc-chip cookies. He actually wasn’t that demanding at all. I think he’d calmed down a lot since coming out of rehab. He’d been telling me how he didn’t drink coffee any more when I’d offered him some because he found it interfered with his meditation. He didn’t seem that crazy at all. But the Electric staff were all still pretty on edge, like he was a ticking time bomb that could go off at any second. I myself felt really sick, and wondered if it was from lack of sleep.

When it was time for Willis to get his photographs taken, Dillon and I walked him back to his trailer, and he changed into what looked like the exact same pair of skinny jeans.

‘Stay right there, that’s perfect,’ said the photographer. ‘These are great.’ I was getting frustrated. Surely this would be over soon? How many photos of Willis with his legs crossed, leaning slightly forward in the middle of the road, did they actually need? After what felt like an age, they moved him over to the trees, and then further into the field to get some more shots. Ellie asked Dillon and me to stay behind and start packing up all the outfits, none of which Willis had actually agreed to wear. I didn’t blame him – some of them looked seriously dodgy.

‘That’s a wrap, folks,’ said Ellie a few minutes later.

‘Brilliant,’ said Willis. ‘This means I’ll be able to catch my flight to New York after all.’

Ellie smiled, obviously delighted that the whole thing had gone off without a hitch. But her expression soon changed when she saw the anxious look on Willis’s face.

‘Crap,’ he said. ‘I think I must have dropped my Zippo… my wife got it for me for our anniversary – it’s engraved and everything. She’s going to KILL me.’

‘Jacki will find it,’ said Ellie with such assurance that it actually scared me. I already felt sick and I was in no state to be left in charge of finding an expensive and sentimental lighter. I trudged into the field, muck clinging to my Converse. I walked in the same direction they’d taken, hoping to see a glint of silver in among all the grass, but I found nothing. I kept looking and looking and I could hear Ellie calling my name, but I didn’t answer. What did she think I was, some sort of miracle worker? Then I saw it; not the lighter, but the barbed-wire fence.

It ran between the field we were in and the next. I rushed over to it and got the strangest feeling. I felt like I was sinking, even though I was standing perfectly still. I felt like everything was moving around me, just like I had the first time I’d dreamed about Kayla. Then I saw her, out of the corner of my eye, her red hair speeding past me in a blur.

This was it. I’d found it – I’d found her grave. I couldn’t believe it. I had to tell Detective Sergeant Lawlor straight away.

Then, on the other side of the fence I saw something glinting in the sunlight – Willis’s lighter. I made a mental note of exactly where I was, then took a few pictures on my phone, just to be sure I could find the place again. Then I rushed back to the others.

‘Oh, wow,’ said Willis. ‘Thank you so much! You’re an angel.’

‘It’s OK, no big deal,’ I said.

‘No, you don’t understand – the missus would actually have murdered me. I don’t usually do this,’ he said, ‘but here’s my card.’ He handed me his business card and smiled. Then he said goodbye to everyone and got into his car. He gave me the call-me signal from the window.

‘If you’re ever in NY, hit me up,’ he shouted as the car pulled away.

‘Wow. Well done, Jacki!’ said Dillon, putting his hand on my arm. We both realized what he had done and stepped apart hastily.

‘Dillon, I… er… I need to make a call.’

And I stumbled off.

Matt answered straight away.

‘I think I know where she’s buried,’ I said.

‘You serious?’

‘Yes. I’ve got an exact location – it’s in the Dublin mountains. There’s obviously no sign of a grave now because it’s all overgrown, but I know she’s buried there, I’d bet my life on it. We have to start digging.’

‘It doesn’t work like that, Jacki. I can’t just start digging. I need to give the team a reason.’

‘I’m giving you one. I have a strong feeling that she’s buried down there.’

‘I need a name, Jacki. I need some evidence. Detective Sergeant Lonergan is concerned that you haven’t come up with a name for us yet. Now this isn’t my view at all. I’m just telling you what he said. I told him that you are the best there is and that you’ll have something for us when the time is right, but he’s getting impatient.’

‘What exactly did he say?’ I asked. ‘Tell me, I can handle it.’

‘He said… he said he doesn’t know if you’re up to it.’

‘I know where she’s buried.’

‘I need a warrant to search there, and I can’t get one of those without -’

‘Fine,’ I said. ‘I’m still working on it. I’ll do everything I can to get you a name. Just hold on for another little while.’

Now that I’d found where I believed she was buried, I suddenly had a renewed passion for solving the case. I’d let the real reason I was in Dublin get all swallowed up by everything that was happening in my love life (or lack of) and I felt bad. I was going to give Kayla justice and solve this case once and for all.

I called Andrew and asked to meet him at the ice-cream place. He started to protest, muttering something about going to Calum’s, but eventually agreed.

When I got there, Andrew was sitting by himself in a corner of the cafe, tapping his fingers on the table. It was really obvious he didn’t want to be there. He nodded when he saw me, but didn’t smile. That was fine with me – I didn’t need a welcoming committee. I just had one question I needed him to answer.

‘Would you like to explain this?’ I said, showing him the photograph of Kayla in the jersey.

‘I didn’t take that,’ he said.

‘It was on your phone.’

‘So? It’s on a few people’s phones.’

‘What?’

‘Calum sent it to us when none of us would believe he’d slept with Kayla. That’s her, and she’s wearing his jersey. I honestly thought he was making it up, but that’s definitely his. And I doubt he would have gone to the trouble of stealing that picture from her.’

I hated to admit it, but I had a feeling he was telling the truth. I could ask the others, but I pretty much knew they would corroborate what Andrew said.

I was back at square one and still no closer to helping the girl who haunted my dreams.

Chapter 20