‘And what’s she like?’ She concentrated on maintaining a forced jollity.
‘Chloe?’ Alex spoke in a rush. ‘She’s…’ His face took on a faraway aspect for a moment and she didn’t like what she saw in his eyes. ‘Look, I didn’t, I mean I can’t…’ He threw his hands up in the air. ‘Why didn’t you come back?’ he said suddenly, sharply. ‘I know you needed space – but it’s been
‘Any children?’ she interrupted relentlessly, looking around as though small people might jump out from behind the stiff leather sofas, even though she knew the answer. A hard edge crept into her voice that she hadn’t meant to plant there.
Alex looked at her. ‘No,’ he said.
‘I see.’
Alex put his mug on the table and looked down between his knees, banging the flat of his hands softly against his forehead. She recognised the frustrated gesture of old and her body moved before her mind could slingshot questions at it. She reached out to pat his knee. ‘I know what the score is, Alex… I just can’t believe you’re really sitting here.’
Alex lifted his face to hers. His gaze was pained, full of guilt and uncertainty and torment. She held it steadily, letting all else wash away from her except the fact that he was there.
In response she watched his eyes change as they deepened with emotion. He reached up with both hands and stroked her face, looking into her eyes all the time. An incredible current passed between them at his touch – as if all the feelings they had once shared and then buried were being reignited by his hands on her skin.
Without breaking eye contact, he moved his fingers to pull loose the thin scarf tied around her neck, uncoiling the soft material slowly and steadily. He laid it aside, and then, as though in a trance, he leaned forward towards the hollow between her collarbones, and touched the long, narrow scar there.
‘Amy,’ he said, ‘there’s something I need to tell you.’
Just then they heard the front door open, and both turned sharply towards the sound.
26
As Chloe had raced home, cold rage had begun to course through her, first a trickle, then a stream, then a torrent so fierce that her whole body seemed to be caught within the swelling, rolling gathering of it. She was glad she had opted for the privacy of the taxi as she tried to calm her breathing, to still her swirling thoughts, to steady herself so she didn’t explode before she got through the door.
Once home, she didn’t get two paces along the hallway before she saw Alex. He was closing the living-room door.
‘Hey.’ He gave her a strained smile. ‘What are you doing home so early?’ He began to walk towards her, saw her stricken face, and stopped. ‘Chlo, what’s wrong?’
‘I’ve had enough, Al, that’s what.’ She pushed past him and went into the kitchen, put her bags and coat on the countertop and ran herself a glass of water, draining it in one go. She turned round to find Alex watching her from a distance, a strange expression on his face. ‘Mark told me you called him. I want you to tell me what’s going on…’
Her voice trailed off as she realised Alex was hovering by the closed living-room door. A jumble of thoughts tumbled over her, none of them good.
‘… Right now,’ she finished, slowly.
‘Okay,’ Alex answered, his lips still drawn back in that spooked half-smile. ‘Let’s just go out for a walk, shall we?’ He moved towards her, picked up her coat and held it out to her.
And she knew.
She looked Alex in the eye for a long, drawn-out moment, then took a deep breath, walked down the corridor, towards the living-room door, and stopped. She turned back to Alex, who had followed, and took another long look at him, drinking in the sight of the man she loved, wondering how she would look at him after this.
Then she said, ‘I think I left my scarf in here, I’ll just get it,’ and had the briefest impression of Alex’s shoulders slumping as she pushed open the door.
27
Chloe was smaller than Julia remembered, her face paler and more pinched. She stood holding the door handle, looking at Julia with pure contempt. Julia didn’t know what to say, but still tried to speak, in a quavering voice.
‘Hello.’
Chloe just continued to stare in silence. They were frozen until Alex came up behind Chloe.
‘It’s not what you think,’ he said.
Julia stood there uncomfortably as Chloe whirled around to him. ‘What are you, Alex? A walking cliche? In fact, who the hell are you? You’re certainly not the man I thought you were. How – how dare you!’
Then Julia watched in horror as Chloe slapped his cheek and started banging her fists on his chest as she shrieked at him. Alex was trying to grab her wrists while dodging blows, telling her to calm down.
The explosion didn’t last long but it seemed to have consumed Chloe. She stepped back from Alex, took one last look at Julia, her face crumpled with pain, then stormed out through the doorway.
Alex was motionless for a second. When the front door banged shut, he jumped, but it seemed to start him into action. He turned around without a glance back and raced after his wife, leaving Julia standing there in shock, wondering what on earth she should do now.
28
Mark had waited. He’d seen the embrace between Julia and Alex from a distance before they closed the door. Then, as he’d been about to head towards the station, he’d seen the taxi turn into the opposite end of the street and watched in horror as Chloe alighted from it. What an absolute bastard he was for leaving that note on her desk, he berated himself.
Before his train of thought was even completed she was coming out the door again, and he could see how stricken she was. She stopped for a second on the steps to the house, clutching at the railing, her body heaving, and he was heading towards her before he’d even thought about it, calling her name.
She looked up, startled and angry. He could see the snail-trails of tear tracks on her cheeks. As he reached her, she just had time to say, ‘I don’t know what the hell you think you’re doing here,’ before the front door banged open and Alex was there.
Mark saw straight away the storm brewing on Alex’s face, but it was too late to do anything. Alex didn’t even seem to see Chloe, as he marched past her, pulled his arm back, and sent the force of his fist crashing towards Mark’s nose.
As Mark instinctively turned, the fist caught his cheek instead, which instantly began to throb.
‘That’s assault,’ he spat at Alex as he righted himself, touching his cheek gingerly.
Alex still towered over him, hands on hips, taking short breaths through his nostrils, looking as if he’d like to do the same thing again. ‘Well, I guess I’ll see you in court then,’ he retorted, glaring.
The two men stared at each other for a moment, jaws tensed, the atmosphere a lit fuse burning slowly towards explosion.
Chloe’s petite form suddenly appeared between them. She pushed Alex away, her small hands against his heaving chest. ‘What the hell are you doing, Alex?’
Alex looked startled. He took a step back. ‘Chloe, I -’
‘Just go away,’ she screamed at him. ‘Isn’t there someone waiting for you in there – in
