‘We’ve made the most of the time we’ve had,’ Amy reminded him. ‘We can come back, you know.’
‘I know.’ He looked up at her and grinned. ‘I’m just having so much fun.’
‘Me too.’ She smiled back at him, and headed across to the bedside table where her washbag was propped, rummaging in it. As she did so she felt Alex’s presence behind her, then his lips on her neck, and a blissful shiver ran through her. She turned to face him and he pressed against her, sending them both back onto the bed.
Once the motel closed for the evening, the outback darkness became absolute except for the pinpoint lights of stars billions of miles away. Amy couldn’t sleep. Around her it was so black that it was better to keep her eyes closed, for if she tried to open them the lack of anything to focus on caused her brain to invent strange wispy whirls of colour within the darkness that pulsated into being and away again.
‘Alex?’ she whispered, wanting to hear his reassuring voice.
‘Hmm?’ he replied, but he sounded sleepy, too close to his dreams to want to begin a conversation.
Amy sighed and turned over onto her side. As her body shifted so did something in her, and their happiness suddenly became a trepidatious thing – precariously balanced on these small moments in time. She wondered what it would be like when they got home, and wished she could see the bigger picture. But for now she pushed her body towards Alex’s, grateful for his arm coming mechanically across her, unnerved by the sudden, compelling urge she had to hide from the dark.
32
As Chloe negotiated the bustle of Oxford Street she wondered again about how her life was unfolding. It was as though she were being carried by a rip-tide and had no choice about where she was heading. Even the throngs of people now pressing against her seemed to be trying to submerge her within their smooth current.
She didn’t enjoy the crowds, but this was by far the most obvious place to find a dress to wear at the law ball. She really wanted something hot, bright and sexy that would enslave Mark to her for the evening, but since it was a work function she was thinking black and minimalist might be more the way to go.
She wasn’t enjoying her vocational training as much as she had thought she would, which meant she spent every other day wondering if she was really cut out for a legal career. If it wasn’t for Mark’s encouragement she would have felt even more adrift, but his enthusiasm was palpable, and although he could be a little patronising he was helping a lot; particularly by shielding her from some of his father’s stinging sarcasm, which someone seemed to bear the brunt of every day.
She had been almost surprised to find that she and Mark were an item, but more and more she was growing to like the feeling of it. They had gone out with a group from work one Friday night, and the numbers at the bar had gradually dwindled until Mark and Chloe had tipsily called a cab to his place. Although she had felt mortified – not to mention ill – when she had woken up on his sofa the next morning, Mark had breezed in with filtered coffee and an easy smile. Since then they had gone out a few times – although without it resulting in such wicked hangovers, for which Chloe was extremely grateful.
She walked out of the biting cold and into a brightly lit shop with an array of party dresses in the window. Browsing the racks, a slip of black satin caught her eye. That might serve as a compromise, she thought. She found her size, made her way to the changing rooms and slid the dress on. It slunk over her skin, nestling against the curve of her hips, although as she turned sideways she realised she might need to breathe in for most of the event to really minimise her stomach. But she thought she could get away with it. She beamed at herself in the mirror. The woman smiling back had a face flushed pink with cold, and looked excited.
Back in the crisp, cold night, Chloe made her way home, thankful that the shopping trip hadn’t turned out to be too arduous. She was sharing a poky flat with two friends, both of whom had one of their numerous Christmas events on that night, so Chloe would have the television to herself. She smiled, thought briefly about the paperwork in her bag, and dismissed it. She was determined to relax this evening.
At the flat she fiddled with the awkward lock, and finally fell through the door as it gave way with a jerk. She shook her head; she’d been living there for three months and it still happened every time she tried to unlock the door. They really needed to ask someone who knew about DIY.
In the hallway Post-it notes adorned the small telephone table. She glanced over them. Most were old ones that no one had got around to throwing away, but there was a new message in Sandra’s handwriting. ‘
Chloe sighed. She liked that Mark was calling her, but she had tonight planned. She was about to get changed out of her suit, when there was a knock at the door.
Her heart sank. She really wished Mark would wait for the invitation before actually coming around. Wearily, she went to the front door and pulled it open.
‘Anthony!’
‘Sis!’ Her brother gave her a hug, his bristle of close-clipped hair shining in the hallway light.
It was a nice surprise to see him but Chloe was still thinking a little wistfully of her alone-time.
‘What are you doing here?’
‘Well, I’m going to a party tomorrow night, and it’s so much cheaper to get the train down on a Thursday, so I made a last-minute decision to see if I could bunk with you.’
Chloe folded her arms and smiled. ‘And if you can’t?’
‘Then I’m on the streets, sis,’ Anthony said, strolling past her and throwing his bag into her room. ‘But I know you’d never do that to your little brother. Mum would kill you!’ He walked into the lounge and sat down on a sofa. ‘Have you got a takeaway near here? I’m starving. Unless you haven’t made dinner yet, of course?’ He grinned cheekily.
Chloe gave him a sarcastic smile back, went over to the table and chucked a sheaf of takeout menus at him. ‘Be my guest.’
They munched on pizza while half paying attention to the television. Despite her thwarted plans, Chloe was enjoying this rare time with her brother. It was strange getting used to one another as independent adults after living in close proximity for all those years – knowing someone inside out and yet hardly at all.
‘I think I’m full,’ Anthony announced, throwing down a chewed crust and sitting back in his chair.
‘Me too,’ Chloe agreed.
Anthony was watching her, an indiscernible expression making his features more intense than usual. ‘Chlo?’
Something in his voice made her senses become alert. ‘Yes?’
He paused for a moment, then said, ‘I’m going to tell Mum I want to find Dad.’
Chloe closed her eyes for a second as tension rippled through her body. She sat up.
‘Ant, I really don’t know…’
Anthony leaned forward. ‘Chlo, I don’t feel this is a choice any more. It’s eating me up. It’s on my mind all the time – if not in the forefront then always at the back. I have to know.’
‘But what makes you think Mum will react any differently this time?’ Chloe asked, thinking back to the arguments Anthony had had with their mother while he was a teenager, when he was disillusioned with Charlie’s lack of get up and go, and desperate to believe that his real father was an action hero of some sort. She had thought that Anthony was past all that.
Margaret had always been elusive about their dad. They hadn’t even been sure of his name until Anthony had found it written on some old photos. Chloe vaguely remembered Charlie coming into their lives, but for a while when he was quite young Anthony had thought Charlie was his father. When they had approached their mother, Margaret had told them, ‘You have to trust me – we’re all better off without him.’ The high level of mystery only intrigued them both further, until in the aftermath of one particularly virulent row sixteen-year-old Chloe had overheard Charlie comforting Margaret, saying, ‘Wouldn’t it be better to tell them than to have them blaming you like this?’ And Margaret had replied, ‘Oh god, Charlie, how can you say that? Absolutely not. You know they’re better off this way.’
