‘There are a million things I still have to learn,’ he said, winning her sympathy again with his understanding. ‘I’m going to have to let you lead the way along this path. That is, if you want to?’
‘I want to,’ she whispered.
‘Every step of the way-wherever it leads. And that’s what we don’t know. Do you remember how I was? Always cock-a-hoop, sure I knew everything.’
‘Yes, I remember that,’ she said tenderly.
He grimaced. ‘And then things happen that take you by surprise.’
‘But perhaps you shouldn’t be surprised,’ she pointed out lightly. ‘The life you’ve led-Mike probably isn’t the only one. Careful!’
His glass had slipped from his hand and smashed onto the floor. Waiters hurried over to clear up the broken glass and replace the wine.
‘Sorry about that,’ he said tensely when there was peace again. ‘There aren’t any others. I’d have known. No other girl would have let me get away with it as you did.’ He saw her faint frown and hastened to add, ‘You think you’re one of a crowd? You’re wrong. You’re special. I knew it even then, but-’
‘But things were different then, weren’t they?’ she asked gently.
‘What do you mean by that?’ he asked quickly.
‘Nothing,’ she said, puzzled by a hint of sharpness in his voice.
‘You must have meant something. Different how?’
‘We were different people. The years have changed us, made us grow up. You were only twenty-four, and most lads of that age aren’t ready for responsibility.’
Did she only imagine that he relaxed, as though with relief?
‘Yes, I was just a kid in those days,’ he said. ‘There was a lot I wasn’t ready for.’
His face was wary, uncertain, as though he feared that every step might be the one that destroyed his dreams. She’d never seen such a look from him before.
‘We still have a thousand things to talk about,’ he said. ‘But not here and now. I want to be alone with you for a long time, with no interruptions.’
‘Yes,’ she said quietly. She knew a sense of relief. She’d sensed, as he had, that this wasn’t the moment to go any further. ‘Time without interruptions isn’t easy to come by if you’re a racing driver.’
‘Right. A different country every two weeks or so. Tomorrow I leave for Spain. Hell! But when I come back you’ll still be here, won’t you?’ His voice was tense again.
‘Yes, I’ll be here.’ A thought struck her. ‘Are you on the early flight tomorrow?’
‘Yes.’
‘Then it’s time you were home and in bed.’
‘Bullying me, huh?’
‘No, I’m just thinking of Mike. If you’re not at your best and don’t win the race I’ll have a lot of explaining to do. Come along. Get going.’
‘Yes, nanny!’ he said with teasing obedience. ‘You sound like my mother. The night before my first Grand Prix she ordered me to bed as though I was five.’
‘I guess she understood you well. Come along.’
He’d said he liked to be in charge at all times, but he seemed happy enough to follow her lead now.
In the taxi, he said, ‘Suddenly I don’t want to go to Spain.’
‘Oh, yes, you do,’ she said lightly. ‘Racing comes first.’
He grimaced. ‘Does it? Well, if you say so. What’s that smile for?’
‘I’ve just realised what a problem I’m going to have over the next few days. My team is Brent, but secretly I’ll be rooting for you.’
‘Promise me that’s true.’
‘I promise,’ she said softly.
‘And when I return we’ll meet up on the first day?’
‘Are you kidding? Mike would never forgive me if we didn’t.’
‘I’m not talking about Mike now.’
As the taxi drew up outside her home she prevented him coming with her to the door.
‘Go home,’ she said. ‘Get some sleep.’
‘Whatever you say.’ He kissed her cheek.
‘Goodnight,’ she said. And fled.
Mike was sleeping when she looked in on him, and she quietly retreated to her own room. It had been a good evening. Jared had accepted his son more easily than she’d dared to hope, and she could feel him reaching out to herself.
Yet she was pervaded by a sense of alarm. She’d told him that the years had changed them, making them different people, and it was true. They had both become more mature-especially Jared. But there was another change in herself.
When she looked back on the girl she’d been then-openhearted, open- armed, ready to love and embrace the world-she could hardly believe that she was the same person.
She’d borne a child to a man who’d simply brushed her aside, and it had changed her beyond recognition. Now she was suspicious, where once she’d been trusting, withdrawn where she’d been eager. The girl who’d once been filled with hope had learned to expect the worst.
Her own reaction to Jared’s return had surprised and worried her. She hadn’t rushed into his arms, she reassured herself, but she’d brushed hard-won caution aside far too easily.
A warning voice was sounding in her head.
Beware. Hold back. He wants his child, but does he want you? Don’t throw away the painful lessons you’ve learned just because he smiles at you.
She looked out of the window at the park where they had walked the night before, as though she might find some kind of answer in its depths. But there was only the darkness, the soft rustling of the trees, and no answer in the whole universe.
When she arrived at work next morning, the owner of Brent, Mr Salcombe, was waiting for her, his face dark and angry.
‘What did you think you were doing?’ he snapped.
‘When?’
‘Last night. You were seen with Jared Marriott, with your heads very close together. Cannonball would give anything to learn the secret of our new gearbox, and now I suppose they know
The mere thought of being with Jared and wasting time discussing gearboxes was so outrageous that she had to choke back a laugh.
‘Very funny,’ her boss snapped. ‘I won’t tolerate disloyalty. Clear your desk and go.’
‘But-’
It was all over that fast. Within an hour she was outside the building, minus a job. She texted Jared, telling him what had happened, and awaited his reply.
It didn’t come.
She sent another text, worded more urgently.
Silence.
