dark ashes fall to the street.
We don t want to leave any evidence behind, do we? she said. Nothing that might lead back to Uncanny, and the Regent.
Show-off, I said.
A small brass plate set above the door gave the name THE ESTABLISHMENT CLUB in blunt and blocky letters. A club so well established it didn t need to advertise. Either you knew how to find it or you didn t belong there, anyway. The door itself was bland and uninteresting, with no letter box or door handle. The giveaway was that it stood half-open, the way in thoroughly blocked by a large and formidable doorman, resplendent in an old- fashioned bright scarlet frock-coat uniform, complete with fancy waistcoat, knee britches and well-polished boots. Plus a gleaming tall hat any stage magician would have been proud of. For all his finery, he was large and solid and openly menacing, and gave the impression he should really have been standing outside some downtown nightclub, snarling, No trainers! and You re not on the list! He had a square, brutal face and looked like bullets would just bounce off him. Because they d be afraid of him. He stood at attention and looked right through Molly and me as though we weren t there.
So, said Molly, looking right past the doorman as though he weren t there, what kind of a place is the Establishment Club, Eddie? What can we expect once we get inside? Any kinky stuff?
Don t ask me, I said. I ve never been in there.
Molly turned and gave me a hard look. You re always saying that London is your territory! That you were Drood field agent for the whole of London!
Not quite all of it, I admitted reluctantly.
This kind of place, and this kind of area, was always more Matthew s territory than mine. It s not like I was actually banned from circles like these, but I never got to see the inside of any of these clubs. Matthew didn t think I could be trusted to behave properly in front of those who like to think of themselves as our betters, and he was probably right. He knew how to talk to these people, to lay down Drood authority without ruffling too many feathers. Because sometimes, when you re in a hurry, you have to give some to get some. I am a great believer in diplomacy; right up to the point where someone pisses me off, and then it s time to dispense beatings and shout at people. Matthew knew how to get these people to do what we wanted and make them think it was all their idea in the first place. But then, Matthew could charm the birds down out of the trees, when he could be bothered. He was always so much better at being a secret agent than I ever was.
I stopped there, surprised by a sudden rush of memories of the man that weren t all bad. I do miss him sometimes. He was harsh and arrogant and a royal pain in the arse but he did teach me an awful lot about how to be a field agent when I first came to London.
He was a creep, Molly said succinctly, and I had to smile.
Well, yes. I don t think anyone would argue with that, I said. But he was a very professional creep. You have to make allowances. He was family.
If I hear that bullshit one more time, Molly said ominously, there is going to be a very unfortunate incident. Right here and now. Shit is shit, whether you re related to it or not. Take my sisters
I d rather not, I said.
It was Molly s turn to smile. Lots of people say that. Wait a minute! I ve just had an idea!
Oh no, I said. That s never good.
When all this is over, why don t I join up with you, and we can be field agents in London together? We could patrol the streets, side by side. That should throw a scare into all the right people. And according to all the women s magazines I read, relationships work much better when you ve got shared interests in common.
I think London needs a regular field agent who s at least heard of diplomacy, I said carefully.
You re a fine one to talk!
True. But at least I can fake it when I have to. For you, diplomacy is just something you ve heard of that other people do.
I can fake it if I have to, Molly said darkly.
I d really rather not go there, I said.
Let us consider the external protections of the Establishment Club, before we go any further.
We both looked the club s exterior over carefully. My Sight immediately revealed that the whole front of the building was crawling with defence spells, and energy fields and layer upon layer of really heavy-duty protections. Intertwining and overlapping force shields and shimmering screens, with built-in weapons both magical and technological, along with all kinds of curses, bombs and booby traps. Some of the protections shone so brightly they almost blinded my inner eye. Just trying to make sense of the various patterns and structures made my head ache.
Okay, I said, after a while. Some of these defence systems are seriously old. Laid down centuries ago, going right back to Londinium times. Hell, some of them go back so far I ve only ever read about them in old books. To be honest, the word overkill is coming to mind. Even Buckingham Palace doesn t have some of the orders of protection I m Seeing here. Layers upon layers, supporting and reinforcing one another. Something this intricate doesn t just happen. This was planned.
Can you break through it? Molly said bluntly.
Is your new armour up to it?
Maybe. Eventually. But not without drawing a lot of attention and probably the arrival of major reinforcements.
The Regent did say Crow Lee had his own private army.
Well, yes, but I doubt he brings them with him when he comes to visit his club. He d expect the club to protect him. Probably has his own bodyguard, though.
Hah! said Molly. I laugh in the face of bodyguards! And then I do really awful things to them and make them cry for their mothers.
I know, I said. I ve seen you do it. Let us try the straightforward way first.
I nodded significantly at the doorman, who was still standing stiffly at attention before the club s doorway, pretending he wasn t giving his full attention to every word we were saying.
Ah! Molly said happily. The old way! The bullying and intimidation of stuck-up flunkies! Oh, Eddie, you re so good to me.
Yes, I am, I said. And don t you forget it.
I get to go first!
Of course.
Molly strode up to the doorman so she could glare right into his face. Though she had to stand on tiptoe to do it. He met her gaze levelly, giving every indication of being entirely unmoved. Which was, of course, the worst thing he could have done. Molly will stand for a lot of things, but being ignored definitely isn t one of them.
We are coming in, Molly said firmly. That can be past you, or over your beaten and broken body. It s up to you. Guess which I d prefer.
No trainers, said the doorman. And definitely no witches that don t know their place. No entrance here ever, unless you re a member in good standing, which you aren t and never will be. Now piss off, girlie, or I ll set the hellhounds on you.
You haven t got any hellhounds, said Molly, grinning really quite unpleasantly. I d know. So get the hell out of my way, or I ll turn you into a small squishy thing with your testicles floating on the top.
The doorman lowered himself to sneer at her. I hear worse than that from the members every day if I don t move fast enough. You can t touch me; I m protected by the club. Now get out of my sight, before I make you cry.
I stepped forward then to stand beside Molly. You try to be nice to people, but then they have to go and cross the line. No one threatens my Molly and gets away with it. So stand aside, Uniformed Flunky with an Unfortunate Attitude, or I ll rip your dickey off.
Eddie! said Molly, amused but just a bit shocked.
Not in public
A dickey, I explained patiently, is another name for the bow tie.
Ah, said Molly. I hadn t noticed he was wearing one. Now, that is distinctly unappealing. Downright ugly, in fact.
