A Whirlwind Engagement

hold her like this.

'I feel as if I could sit here for ever and look at the sea like this,' she was saying, but he could feel her quiver of response.

Make the most of it, wasn't that what they had agreed?

'Forget the view,' he murmured, and drew her down into the soft sand for a long, sweet kiss that was followed by another, and then another, until the sand began to get in the way.

'You'll never get the sand out of your hair,' he said contritely, twisting it between his fingers and feeling how gritty it was.

'Perhaps I should cut it off before I go on that expedition of yours,' said Bella lazily.

Josh hated the thought. 'You must never cut it,' he said, appalled. 'It's beautiful hair.'

'I thought you would approve of the idea. It would be so much more practical.'

'Maybe,' said Josh. 'But it wouldn't be you. I-' He caught himself just in time. 'I like you as you are,' he finished.

When they went back to the room, he made her sit on the veranda while he brushed all the sand out of her hair with long, loving strokes, and then they went back to bed and made love again with a kind of urgency, as if they both sensed that the night was short and that seconds were ticking away.

The airport the next morning was crowded and chaotic. It was only a small terminal and, judging by the cacophony of languages, there were several flights leaving for various parts of Europe all at the same time.

Josh dealt with the luggage while Bella waited to one side. She felt cut off from the bustle around her, as if she were still wrapped in the bubble of enchantment from the night before. They had moved quietly around the room as they got ready to leave, saying little. There was nothing they could say, thought Bella.

'How's your foot?'

Wrenched out of her bubble of enchantment, Bella turned to see Aisling looking tired and strained.

'It's fine, thanks,' she said. Aisling was the last person she wanted to talk to this morning, but she would have to be pleasant for Josh's sake. 'It looks worse than it is really,' she said, nodding down at the professional bandage. 'How are you?'

'Feeling as if I've made the most monumental mistake,' said Aisling frankly. 'Bryn and I had the most terrible row when we got back. That awful time on the boat and then on the island made me realise that he's not half the man Josh is. I've been so stupid,' she sighed. 'I thought I loved Bryn, but I can see now that it was just infatuation. He's got quite a powerful position with C.B.C., and I think I was carried away by his good looks and all those status symbols he has.'

She bit her lip. 'I'm not even sure that he loves me,' she confessed. 'He said that he did, and that he was going to divorce his wife, but I wonder if he'll ever do it. I'd have been better off sticking with Josh.'

'Josh deserves better than being a safe option for you,' said Bella coldly. 'He's not just there for you to fall back on when things go wrong.'

'I know,' said Aisling. 'And I know it's too late. I just want to tell Josh that I realise what a fool I've been-and you how lucky you are,' she added.

The last enchantment from the night before trickled away, leaving Bella cold and exposed to hard reality. Aisling wanted Josh back. And she, Bella, was going to have to let him make that choice.

Every fibre of her being strained against standing back and letting Aisling have another chance. Bella wanted to push her away, to tell her to leave Josh alone, that he was hers and always had been. But if she did that, she would never know if Josh had lingering regrets.

More than anything else, she wanted to spend her life with him, but not if she would always be wondering if she was his second choice, a fall-back position for him, easy and comfortable but not really what he wanted. She had told Aisling that Josh deserved better than that, and she did too. Josh would have to decide if he wanted Aisling or if he wanted her, and the only way he could do that was if she gave Aisling the opportunity to let him know she had changed her mind.

So she gave Aisling a brittle smile. 'Josh and I are just friends,' she said in a cool voice. 'You know that. He told you himself that we were just pretending to be engaged for this trip.'

'Well, yes,' said Aisling hesitantly. 'But I wondered whether the two of you had…?' She trailed off delicately.

'No,' said Bella. 'We're friends, and we want to stay that way.'

'Oh.' Aisling began to look more hopeful. 'In that case, maybe I'll have a word with Josh later.'

'Whatever.' Bella even managed a careless shrug. 'It's nothing to do with me.'

In some ways the journey back seemed longer and more unendurable than being caught by the storm. At least then she hadn't had time to think. Bella almost wished herself back there, frantically baling to keep the boat afloat, when all she had had to worry about was whether they would sink or not, rather than wondering if she had just thrown away her own chance to be happy with Josh.

She was very tired. Neither of them had wanted to waste the night before sleeping, and she was afraid that if she fell asleep against Josh now, she would lose what little resolution she had.

The only way Bella could cope was by withdrawing completely, and Josh seemed happy to keep her at a distance. She longed to ask him whether he had spoken to Aisling and what he had said, but she knew that she mustn't. They were both being very careful not to talk about anything that might remind them of those long hours of sweetness.

Bella yearned to be back there in that moonlit room where time had been suspended for a while. Whenever she thought about the way they had kissed, the way they had touched, she couldn't believe that Josh didn't see as clearly as she did that they were meant to be together. But then she remembered what he had said about Aisling, and how they both agreed that their friendship meant more to them than anything. Being Josh's friend meant wanting him to be happy, and if he wanted Aisling, she would have to accept that being friends was enough.

It was late by the time they landed at Heathrow after a delayed connection in Paris, and Bella was so tired and her foot was so sore that she felt terrifyingly close to tears.

'Let's just get a taxi,' said Josh, retrieving her huge suitcase from the carousel and loading it onto the trolley with his own small bag.

'Sure. I can drop you off on the way,' she said, so that he knew that she wasn't banking on him coming home with her.

'Great,' he said flatly.

They nearly ran into Aisling as they turned to go through Customs. She was glaring after Bryn's departing back.

'He's just walked off and left me!' she said furiously. 'He's gone back to his wife in Dorking. Apparently she 'understands' him in a way I'll never do-I bet she does!' she added venomously, and then her face crumpled. 'What am I going to do? I was staying with him in his London flat, but he hasn't even left me a key to go there tonight.'

'You'd better come with us,' said Bella. 'You can always stay with Josh-can't she, Josh? Most of your stuff must still be there anyway, isn't it?'

'That's true.' Aisling looked hopefully at Josh. 'Would you mind, Josh?'

What could he say? Bella seemed intent on pushing Aisling towards him. Presumably she was worried in case he forgot their agreement that everything would go back to normal now-as if it could! Josh thought bitterly. There was no normal any more as far as he was concerned.

He wanted to shout at her that he hadn't forgotten what they had agreed. How could he forget when she had spent the entire day making it very clear that last night was last night, and now was reality, and there was to be no muddling up the two? But she was obviously determined to make sure that he didn't misinterpret how sweet and loving she had been last night.

There was no need for her to make it quite so obvious that she was afraid that he would make a nuisance of himself. Josh felt raw, hurt by her mistrust but more by the realisation that Bella had meant what she said, and that the night they had shared wasn't going to be repeated.

Fine, he thought. He would leave her alone if that was what she wanted. 'Of course you can stay,' he said to Aisling, who was watching him anxiously. 'I didn't even get round to putting your stuff away. Let's go and find a taxi.'