thought I’d be a great little mother. He thought if any woman could turn him on, it would be me. He was wrong. I couldn’t have turned him on with a blowtorch! He was gay and hadn’t been able to admit it!“
Janna heard the words echo in the small cabin and was appalled. She had never told anyone about that terrible night when she and her husband had both realized that he was living a lie. She wouldn’t have said anything now if Raven hadn’t pushed so hard. She took a long, ragged breath, wishing she could crawl under the counter to avoid Raven’s dark, compassionate eyes.
„There. Feel better now?“ she asked, her voice shaking.
„I was just going to ask you the same question.“
„I’ve never felt worse in my life. Next time, leave me at the bottom of the inlet. The cost of being saved by you is too damned high!“
Raven made a low, involuntary sound, as though he had been struck. „Funny,“ he said finally, „that’s the same thing Angel told me.“
Raven’s lips twisted into a sad smile that tore at Janna’s heart, telling her that somehow she had wounded him more deeply than she had imagined possible, far more than he had hurt her with his questions. Abruptly the anger drained out of her.
„I’m sorry,“ she whispered. „I didn’t mean to-“
„It’s all right,“ Raven interrupted, turning away. „You didn’t know. And even if you did, I had it coming.“
„If I had known, I wouldn’t have said it. I’m not that cruel.“
Raven turned toward Janna. „Small warrior,“ he said, smiling slightly as he stroked her cheek with his calloused palm. „Haven’t you learned? Sometimes kindness doesn’t get it done.“ He turned away, opened a galley drawer and pulled out a corkscrew. With a few easy, powerful motions he took the cork from the wine bottle. „Glasses are in the cupboard to your left.“
Numbly Janna reached for the cupboard. She pulled two wineglasses from their restraints and faced Raven again. As he filled the glasses she could see his nostrils flare in silent appreciation of the wine’s fragrance. He poured the pale golden liquid into the glasses, leaving room for the wine to be swirled by a deft movement of his wrist as he dipped his head to inhale the bouquet. The gesture spoke of a sophistication very much at odds with his rough shirt and jeans.
„What was Angel looking over her shoulder at?“ Janna asked, surprising herself. She hadn’t meant to ask Raven any more questions.
„A dead man.“
Janna paused in the act of setting cocktail sauce on the table. „She loved him?“
„He died the night before their wedding. Her parents died in the same car crash. She survived. She was too badly injured to move. She could only lie there and listen to Grant’s pain until he died.“
Raven’s voice was matter-of-fact, which only made the words more terrible.
Janna closed her eyes, unable to repress the shiver that took her at the thought of what Angel must have gone through. She felt ashamed of herself for lashing out at Raven. However sad and painful the end of her marriage had been, it hadn’t been like watching the man she loved die and being helpless even to touch his hand.
„Angel came out of it, finally.“ Raven continued, putting the plate of oysters on the kitchen table.
„And you comforted her,“ said Janna, thinking aloud, seeing in her mind a slender blonde taking refuge from pain and grief in Raven’s strong arms.
He looked sideways at Janna’s pale, tight face and wondered at the sadness he saw there. „Angel had Derry – Grant’s brother – to comfort her. She needed something tougher, something that would let her pour out all the rage she had at life for taking away the man she loved. The rage was destroying her. She had to get rid of it before she could cope with the despair that was the other side of rage.“
Janna’s eyes opened wide as she understood. She faced Raven and saw echoes of pain in the tight lines bracketing his mouth. She remembered what he had said:
There was a heartbeat’s pause before Raven’s deep voice said, „Yes.“
„And she hated you for it.“
Raven nodded.
„Didn’t she ever understand why you did it?“
„She understood right away,“ he said, setting plates, forks and oyster crackers on the table. „Forgiveness took longer. Years.“
„You loved her,“ Janna said. She was motionless, watching Raven intently, and she was afraid in a way that she didn’t understand.
„Yes.“
„You still love her.“
Raven smiled gently to himself as he shifted oysters onto Janna’s plate. „Of course. Angel loves me, too, now. You’d like her,“ he said, looking up. „Like you, she’s a warrior of the heart. She fought her way against terrible odds and won life and love. A beautiful woman in every sense of the word.“
Janna looked into her wineglass and wished it were a sea deep enough to drown in. The fear and despair she felt were worse than they had been at the moment she had found herself trapped beneath the sinking boat. Her body had been cold then. Now the cold went all the way to her soul.
Fear. She was very much afraid that she had fallen in love with Raven, a man who loved someone else. Knowing the source of her fear didn’t make her any less afraid. It simply made her understand her fear. She had lost something before she even had a chance to win it.
„Why aren’t you married to Angel?“ Janna asked flatly.
Raven gave her a swift, sideways look, then smiled. „Canada takes a dim view of bigamy.“
„You’re married to someone else?“ Janna asked, her head snapping up, shock clear on her face.
He laughed and shook his head. „No. Angel is though, and very happily.“ He sipped the wine before adding quietly, „Derry and I helped Angel to survive, but it was Miles Hawkins who truly healed her. As she healed him. They brought out the best in each other. They still do.“
The affection and admiration in Raven’s voice when he spoke of the man Angel loved puzzled Janna. „Most men in your shoes would hate Angel’s husband.“
Raven’s massive shoulders moved in a shrug. „Hawk gave Angel something no other man had been able to give. She gave him what she had given to no other man. They are as deeply interlocked as the sea and the shore. To hate one would be to hate the other.“
Janna listened and wondered deep within herself if she would ever be able to accept the loss of love as generously as Raven had. „You’re an unusual man, Carlson Raven,“ she said huskily. „Angel must have been blind to choose someone else.“
His teeth flashed in a white smile. „You haven’t met Hawk. Tall, dark, handsome, sophisticated. Wherever he goes he turns heads. Women’s heads. I’ve never seen anything like it.“
Janna looked at Raven. „Pull my other leg,“ she said sardonically. „It’s shorter.“
„Believe me, Hawk is the most – “
„He can’t be a patch on you,“ she said succinctly, interrupting. She took a drink of her wine and then stared down into it gloomily. „My God, I’ll bet there’s an epidemic of female whiplash every time you walk down the street.“
Raven sat at the table and cocked an inquiring black eyebrow at Janna. „Are you one of those women who can’t take a sip of alcohol without getting delirious?“
With an impatient sound Janna put her wine on the table and scooped a lemon out
