he could apologize to her in the relative safety of the main cabin. Finally he had been able to stand it no longer. He had knocked at the tiny door to her cabin. There had been a long hesitation before she had answered. Her tone had been subdued, almost flat. He had realized then how much life she usually had in her voice. The difference had gone into him like a knife.
Remembering the lack of music in Janna’s voice did nothing to ease the restlessness in Raven’s body right now. Nor did hearing the muffled, ragged sounds of her fighting not to cry out loud help him to be at peace. Finally, after what seemed far too long, the soft noises faded, merging with the subtle whisper of the wind. Raven sighed in relief and went back to counting silver salmon on the back of his eyelids.
The sound of the bow door furtively opening brought every nerve in Raven’s massive body alive. He heard Janna tiptoe up the two steps into the main cabin. He sensed her crowding against the far side of the aisle that separated his bunk from the galley stove. His nostrils flared as her subtle, indefinable fragrance washed over him like moonlight while she eased past his bunk to the door leading to the stern.
Hands clenched into fists to keep from reaching out to her, Raven listened as Janna passed his bunk in an almost soundless rush of hurrying feet. The cabin door opened, letting in a gust of cool midnight air. Janna stood briefly in the luminous moonlight before she slipped through the door. Raven closed his eyes. It didn’t help. He could still see the firm, moon-silvered rise of her breasts beneath one of his old T-shirts. He wondered if she was wearing the dark lace panties beneath or if nothing except night concealed her vulnerable softness.
It seemed an unreasonably long time before Janna stealthily opened and closed the stern door again and began easing past Raven’s bunk on her way back down the narrow aisle to the bow cabin. He listened to the soft sounds of her approach, smelled the mixed fragrance of womanly warmth and the coolness of rainwashed night. He was congratulating himself on keeping his hands to himself when he saw the gleam of tears on her cheeks.
„Janna,“ he whispered, reaching out and wrapping his hand around her wrist with a reflexive hunger that he had denied too long. „Janna, what’s wrong? No, don’t pull back. I won’t hurt you. I just want to comfort you.“
And it was true, as far as it went. He did want to comfort her. He wanted it as much as he wanted her.
Janna trembled when she felt the power of Raven’s hand wrapped warmly around her wrist.
„Janna?“ he said softly. „Talk to me.“
„I just needed some air,“ she said, trying to control her ragged breathing. She felt like a prize fool. She hadn’t cried in years, yet since she had met Raven, she rained as regularly as the clouds.
„You’re crying.“
„Think of it – “ Her voice broke. She took a breath and finished in a rush, „Think of it as Queen Charlotte s-sunshine.“
Raven’s hand tightened almost painfully on Janna’s arm, then eased to a caress as he ran his fingertips slowly over the softness of her inner wrist. Janna’s breath came in with a raggedness that had nothing to do with tears.
„I’m sorry,“ he said, his voice so deep that it was as much felt as heard. „I didn’t mean to hurt you with that crack about whining and dining. I thought you would – “
„That’s all right,“ she interrupted hurriedly. Her words were quick, staccato, like cold rain whipped by a storm wind. „I was whining. There’s no need for you to – to apologize for telling the truth.“
„Damn it, that’s not what I meant!“ Raven snarled.
„I understand. Really.“ Janna felt her control dissolving again and wanted to crawl off somewhere before she humiliated herself even further. „Raven,“ she said brokenly, „please let go.“ Vainly she tried to pull her wrist free of his warm, immovable grip. „I’m sorry I woke you. I’m s-sorry I – oh, God, please let go of me!“
There was an instant of silence before Raven’s powerful arm flexed and he pulled Janna onto the bunk, into his arms. He had just enough self-control not to kick back the covers and hold her along his hungry, naked length.
„It’s all right,“ Raven said, stroking Janna’s hair and her back, ignoring her struggles to free herself. „Go ahead, small warrior,“ he murmured. „Cry while I hold you. Hold me if you want to. Please, Janna. I would never have said anything about whining if I had thought you would take me seriously. You’ve been so brave, so full of laughter. I expected you to sling an oyster at me with a smart remark about the dangers of going for a walk with a walrus, but instead you believed what was meant to be a silly joke. Can you forgive me?“
Janna made a strangled sound that could have come from tears or laughter or an aching combination of both.
Raven’s arms closed around her, rocking her gently against his huge chest. When her own arms finally stirred and crept around his neck, he felt both relief and a hunger whose violent intensity shocked him, telling him that he was even closer to the edge of his control than he had realized. His only consolation was that Janna was lying across his chest. As long as she didn’t change position, she wouldn’t know what she was doing to him.
The fugitive thoughts glittered within the darkness of Raven’s mind, darting and gleaming like salmon trying to evade the net. All that kept him from giving in to his hunger was the knowledge that he would hate himself for taking advantage of Janna’s vulnerability.
„What was that about an oyster and a walrus?“ Janna asked finally, sighing and relaxing utterly against Raven’s chest.
He smiled and brushed his lips so lightly over Janna’s hair that she didn’t feel the touch. „Didn’t your brothers ever explain what happens when a tender, innocent, succulent little oyster goes out wining and dining with a walrus?“ he asked.
Janna shook her head, afraid to trust her voice.
„Your education has been dangerously neglected.“
Raven’s deep voice vibrated through her, pervading her to her core, melting her with laughter and heat. Unconsciously she moved her cheek across his chest, snuggling even closer to his warmth. His arms tightened fractionally, shifting the softness of her breasts against him. Heat surged through him like chain lightning, setting fires in his male flesh.
„‘Twas brillig and the slithy toves/Did gyre and gimble in the wabe…’“ Raven quoted deeply, ignoring the hot, hard stirring of his aroused body.
This time he was sure that laughter was causing the soft sounds and softer movements that Janna made against him. He took in a long breath and told himself all the reasons why he would be an insensitive, unforgivable, contemptible, rotten son of a bitch if he took advantage of her now.
Janna lifted her head, looked Raven in the eye and said, „Frumious bandersnatch.“
„Gesundheit,“ he said instantly.
Her lips quivered with the effort of holding back her laughter, but she gamely stuck with it. „It was the frumious bandersnatch that gyred and gimbled in the wabe,“ she explained. „Not a walrus. If you don’t believe me, ask Lewis Carroll.“
„Carroll was too busy waxing his ceilings and shoeing cabbages for kings to worry about who was or wasn’t gyre-ing and gimble-ing in or out of wabes,“ Raven retorted.
Laughter and sudden tears trembled on the brink of release as Janna looked at Raven loving him, wanting him. She sighed his name and brushed her lips over his. He returned the soft kiss until the tip of her tongue traced his upper lip. Then he turned away and very gently tucked Janna’s head against his
