“This isn’t my first time,” he told her. “I thought you might be wondering.”
She hadn’t been, but it was good to know. On the heels of that thought came a wondering about how many others there had been. Who were those women? Why had they let Matt get away? Did he still see them? Think about them? Want them?
She wanted to ask, wanted to scream, wanted to jump out of her skin. The feelings of jealousy were new and uncomfortable. She tried telling herself she was here now and that’s what mattered, but it wasn’t enough.
What if they didn’t click together sexually? What if he thought she was boring in bed? What if-
“Jess?”
She drew in a breath. “I’m making myself insane, worrying.”
“About?”
“That you’ll be disappointed.”
He smiled. “That’s not going to be a problem.”
“You can’t know that for sure.”
“Stop thinking,” he told her, just before he kissed her again.
She gave up to the feel of his mouth on hers. When her brain offered other ways for her to panic, she pushed the thoughts away. Better to enjoy what she could and let the crisis occur on its own.
She tilted her head and parted for him. He swept into her mouth, arousing her with each brush of his tongue.
Over and over, he kissed her, drawing out the process until she began to relax. They weren’t going to rush. That was good. Because despite her past, everything felt oddly new and unfamiliar.
He ran his fingers through her long hair, then pulled it aside so he could kiss her neck. He moved down to the hollow of her throat, the warm, erotic touch making her shiver slightly.
Wanting moved through her, sluggish at first, then growing. Her breasts began to ache. She felt heat burn between her legs.
He moved his hands over her back, then to her waist. She felt the weight of them through the layers of her clothing. He cupped the curve of her hips, but didn’t move either higher or lower, as if he were comfortable taking things just this far.
He kissed her again. With each touch of his tongue on hers, her need cranked up a few degrees. When he nipped her earlobe, she quivered. Sensation flowed from where he touched her breasts. She could feel her nipples, tight and aching inside her bra.
She wanted to pull off her clothes and be naked. She wanted him urging her legs apart so he could fill her. She imagined his erection, big and straight and thick enough to make her scream.
Her skin yearned to feel his touch and still he only kissed her. Over and over, making her squirm.
At last he drew back far enough to pull off her sweater. At the same time she kicked off her shoes. He put his hands on her waist. She caught her breath in anticipation. Her breasts throbbed with each heartbeat. She was getting desperate.
He bent down and pressed his mouth to her bare shoulder. He licked the skin and she gasped. Slowly, more slowly than should be allowed, he moved his hands higher. Closer to her breasts. Closer and closer. At the same time, he kissed her collarbone, then her neck.
His hands moved higher. She silently urged him on. Just a little more. Just a little-
He cupped her curves in his large hands. Just held them for a second, before beginning to move, exploring her. She let her head drop back as she focused solely on his touch, the way his fingers moved over all of her. Then he brushed his thumbs across her nipples and she nearly screamed.
She stood frozen, wanting only to feel what he was doing to her. The irony was, he was barely touching her through her bra. In theory, they hadn’t even gotten to the good stuff. How was she supposed to survive that?
He stepped back slightly and unfastened his shirt, then tugged it off. She stared at his bare chest, at the defined muscles, the dark hair. Then he pulled her against him.
She went willingly, wanting to feel skin on skin. He wrapped his arms around her, cocooning her in his strength. She clung to him, wishing she could crawl inside of him and never leave.
It was a perfect moment and they hadn’t even done anything. Maybe it was because she knew for Matt, this was about being with her. She wasn’t just some easy way to get laid. She was unique to him, and she’d never been that before.
His hands moved on her back. She felt a slight tugging on her bra, then it was loose. He pulled at a strap. She eased away enough to let it fall.
She was bare to the waist. He gazed at her, as if he found her beautiful, then he bent down and took her left nipple in his mouth. He sucked and licked, sending ribbons of sensation all through her body. She had to hold on to him to keep herself upright. Pressure built inside and when he used his hand to tease her other breast, she thought she might come right then.
It was as if he knew exactly what to do, exactly how to please her. He moved back and forth between her breasts, caressing her until she couldn’t help moaning.
“Matt, please,” she breathed. She was so ready, so on the edge. She wasn’t used to this kind of foreplay, the drawn-out dance performed by a man determined to shatter every part of her.
He straightened and smiled at her. “I like how your breath catches and the little sounds you make.”
She was making sounds? That was kind of embarrassing. How to explain she was used to sex being more… direct and quick. Or maybe she didn’t want to. This way was a whole lot more fun.
He reached between them and unfastened her jeans. He pushed them down, along with her bikini panties and she stepped out of them. Then she was naked and he was easing her onto the edge of the bed.
She sat, her legs hanging down.
“Lay back,” Matt told her.
She hesitated, knowing the position would leave her vulnerable, yet wanting to do what he said. Slowly, she lowered herself onto the sheets. He knelt on the floor.
“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured between kisses along her calf to her knee. “Your skin, your hair, your smile. The way you say my name.”
He kissed and licked and nibbled his way up her thighs, getting closer and closer to the hungriest part of her. She stirred restlessly, parting her legs more, wanting what she knew was coming next. Wanting it all. She felt a whisper of breath, then his tongue found her most sensitive spot and she groaned.
He licked her gently, exploring her. At the same time, he moved his hands up her body until he touched her breasts.
The sensations were incredible. His tongue between her legs, loving the very center of her, his skilled fingers on her nipples, moving in perfect rhythm. She closed her eyes and gave herself up to the sensation, the liquid desire pulsing through her.
He moved slowly, around and around. Her muscles tensed. Wave after wave of deliciousness washed over her, pushing her higher and closer. As if sensing that, he went a little faster, a little harder. The movement of his fingers was more insistent. Need increased, pressure grew. She grabbed at the sheets and pushed toward him.
Faster and harder and more. She got closer and closer, losing herself. Her orgasm hovered just out of reach, teasing her with promise, making her ache and strain.
“Matt,” she groaned.
He shifted slightly and sucked on the very core of her.
It was too much, she thought in the half second before she shattered.
Her orgasm claimed her with an unexpected intensity. She shook and cried out, unable to control her body. She might have begged, she wasn’t sure. She just knew he couldn’t stop-not until she was done.
She came and came, shuddering as he continued to touch her. Partway through, he thrust a finger inside of her. That sent her off on a new wave. She gave herself over to him, grinding herself against him, taking all of it on and on until finally she was still.
Jesse lay on the bed, her legs dangling, feeling more naked than she ever had in her life. She’d always enjoyed sex, but never like that. She felt as if she’d exposed her very soul. It was all she could do not to start crying. Or run away. She knew for sure she had to cover herself somehow.
She sat up and looked for an escape. Then Matt was there, pulling her to her feet, holding her. His strong arms held her close. He whispered that it was all right. As if he knew. As if he understood.
