She was losing Mark. She tried to tell herself she wasn't, that nothing had changed about her situation, that only the information was new, but she couldn't quite make herself believe it. She had a strong sense of him drifting away and knowing that he might be lost to her forever tore at her heart.
Had he ever gotten over Dani's mother? She tried to tell herself that Mark hadn't been in that deep. But she knew that if something happened to him today, she would mourn him the rest of her life. She only ever wanted to love him. Perhaps he felt that way about Marsha Buchanan.
If so, Dani would be a constant reminder of what he'd lost. She would make the past live again. Was that why Katherine felt such a distance from him lately? If only Dani had never come looking for her father.
Katherine tried not to blame the young woman. It wasn't her fault, but could the timing have been worse?
She glanced at her watch and realized if she didn't hurry, she was going to be late. So she gathered her briefcase and walked into the school.
Individual education plans or lEPs were the backbone of the special education system. Parents and teachers sat down together to discuss and agree on goals for the coming year. The battle Katherine frequently fought was to push the goals so the child was asked to do just a little bit more than expected. It was the only way to get real growth.
The teachers were committed professionals who saw what was possible. Katherine prided herself on believing in what was impossible.
Ten years ago she'd been told Ian would never survive a regular classroom. That the constant teasing would destroy his spirit and that he wasn't physically capable of keeping up. Today he was being courted by excellent universities on both coasts, including Stanford and MIT.
But it was always a battle. Her friends told her to stop fighting, to put her children into private school. The family could certainly afford it. But for Katherine, there was something more at stake than making her life flow more smoothly.
She was a high-profile parent. Every time she was able to win a battle, she believed she made things easier for a parent without her connections and resources. So she sat through IEPs and fought for more than the school wanted to give.
She entered the small conference room. Oliver's teacher, Miss Doyle, was there, as was the school administrator and the special ed counselor.
They worked through the pleasantries, then got down to the logistics.
'Our main focus for next year is Oliver's reading,' Miss Doyle said. 'We think by the end of the year he should be reading at the first grade level.'
Katherine slipped on her glasses and flipped through the pages she'd brought with her. “That was the goal for last year. Along with helping him interact better in new situations.'
The other women exchanged glances, then Miss Doyle sighed. 'Mrs. Canfield, Oliver is developmentally disabled. He has limitations. Wanting him to be different isn't going to change who he is.'
The teacher was maybe twenty-five or twenty-six. Katherine was genuinely torn between feeling old and tired and wanting to
'What I want,' Katherine said slowly, 'is targets that stretch us both. Oliver gets help at home. He can get more help. But I do not accept that after two years of reading he should still be at the first grade level.'
'Oliver is a lovely little boy,' the administrator said. 'But he will never be normal. As Miss Doyle said, there are limitations.'
'Agreed. But if we all decided he can't be more, then his fate is sealed right now. I won't do that. People rise to the level of expectation. It has been proven time and time again. Expect more and you will get more.'
Katherine suddenly thought of Mark. His limitations weren't about his intelligence, but he sure had them.
'Have you considered Oliver might get more personalized attention in a private school?' Miss Doyle asked.
The administration winced.
Katherine stared at Oliver's teacher. 'Are you telling me you're not capable of instructing my son?'
'No. Just that…'
'I appreciate this is a challenge for all of us. You have said yourself that Oliver is very well behaved in the classroom. He's not disruptive or difficult. So there is no reason to move him. I am confident we can come up with a plan that makes us all stretch and is in Oliver's best interest.'
The administrator leaned over to Miss Doyle and said something Katherine couldn't hear. She'd been through this enough times to know that a compromise would be reached, but it would take some fighting on both their parts.
It wasn't that the school didn't want to give Oliver an excellent education. She knew they had his best interests at heart. Yet special education children were a financial burden on a school district. Despite the increased state funding for each child in the program, the district had to pour in more resources, which came from other programs. It was always a balancing act.
Three hours later, she left and drove to meet Fiona for lunch. Her former daughter-in-law had called to request the lunch the previous day. While Katherine didn't have the energy to deal with her right now, she understood that Fiona was going through a difficult time. Katherine briefly wondered when anyone stopped to think about her going through a rough time, then pushed the thought away as both selfish and unproductive. She'd been raised to believe it was her duty to give back, regardless of how she felt that particular day. With wealth came responsibility. But just once she would like to call in sick, where her life was concerned, and spend the day curled up with a great book and a pint of Ben & Jerry's.
She met Fiona in the restaurant of what had been the Four Seasons hotel, until it had been sold. The food was excellent, as was the service. As the lunch crowd was mostly businesspeople, they were unlikely to run into anyone they knew. An important consideration, Katherine thought as she handed her keys to the valet. Alex was probably going to be a topic of conversation.
Fiona was waiting in the lobby. Tall and beautifully dressed, as always, Fiona was put together in a way that made Katherine feel as if she should check her makeup.
'Have you been waiting long?' Katherine asked. 'I was at an IEP for Oliver. It ran over.'
Fiona smiled, then leaned in and kissed her cheek. 'They always do.'
'You're right. I fight and fight and hope I'm doing the right thing. Let's go in to lunch. I'm starving.'
The women linked arms as they walked. Fiona mentioned a blouse she'd bought at Nordstrom and how they should go shopping sometime soon.
The idea made Katherine tired. Mark frequently told her she should hire more help, which probably made sense. But what, exactly, was she supposed to give up to a stranger? Her afternoons with her children? Her evenings with Mark? Her charity work? What she needed was a clone. The thought made her smile.
'You're in a good mood,' Fiona said. 'The IEP went well.'
'It went, which is about the best it can be. I want the moon and they can't give it to me without giving it to every other parent. It's a question of resources.'
'I don't know how you do it,'1 Fiona admitted. 'Raise those children. You're so busy. One or two special needs children would make sense, but all of them. Not Alex, of course,' she added. 'At least he's normal.'
Katherine stared at the other woman. There were so many thoughts in her head, she didn't know which one to deal with first.
Normal? Fiona was defining normal? How dare she? Yes, some of Katharine's children had issues, but they could all be dealt with. As for Alex not having problems, hadn't Alex told her how difficult things had been when he'd first come to live with them? He'd been as far from 'normal' as any of the others.
'I'm not sure I could give any of them away' Katherine said lightly, sure that Fiona hadn't meant anything bad by what she'd said.
'Of course not.' Fiona laughed. 'They're all so precious.'
Were they? In her eyes? Katherine wasn't so sure. There was something about Fiona's tone and body language.
The waiter appeared. They both ordered without bothering to look at the menu. Fiona asked for a glass of
