things myself. Emperor Hsien Feng has told me many times that he turns into a rag as he sleeps and is carried by the southern wind directly to Heaven. His Majesty wishes no farewell ceremony. It is his decision that we shall all be widowed.”
Nuharoo sat with her back as straight as a pine tree. She blinked her eyes and decided to ignore Lady Yun. She took up her teacup and lifted the lid to sip.
The rest of the ladies followed suit. We dipped our noses in our teacups in unison.
I wondered if Lady Yun was sane. The line seemed to blur as I continued observing. There was truth in her words when she began to sing “Dust in the Wind”:
Finally my mother’s palanquin reached the side entrance of the Gate of Celestial Purity. The moment I saw Mother getting out, I burst into tears. She had aged, and now leaned helplessly on the arms of Rong and Kuei Hsiang. Before I finished my ceremonial greeting, Mother broke down. “Congratulations, Orchid. I didn’t think I would live to see my grandson.”
“The lucky moment has arrived!” Chief Eunuch Shim’s call came from the hallway. “Music and fireworks!”
Guided by eunuchs specially trained in ritual, I moved through the crowd. I asked Emperor Hsien Feng if my mother could sit with me, and he granted my wish. My family was so happy they wept. With difficulty Mother leaned over and touched Tung Chih for the first time. “I am ready to go see your father in peace,” she said to me.
After we sat down, Rong and Kuei Hsiang reported that they had been taking Mother to the best doctors in Peking. She looked frail. I took Mother’s hands in mine. By custom, my family couldn’t stay overnight in the Forbidden City, and we would have to part when the ceremony ended. The idea that I might never see Mother again disturbed me so much that I ignored Nuharoo’s request that I join her to receive members of the court.
“Think this way, Orchid,” Mother said, trying to comfort me. “Dying will be a relief for me, since I am in so much pain.”
I leaned my head on Mother’s shoulder and was unable to say a word.
“Try not to spoil the moment, Orchid.” Mother smiled.
I made an effort to look cheerful. It didn’t seem real to me that everyone was here for my son.
Kuei Hsiang had begun to mingle in the crowd and I could hear him laugh. I could tell that the rice wine had taken effect.
Rong was more beautiful but thinner than the last time I had seen her.
“Rong’s future has not yet been settled, and that worries me,” Mother said with a sigh. “She hasn’t been as lucky as you. Not one worthy proposal, and she is over twenty.”
“There is a man I have been thinking of for Rong,” I told Mother.
“I can’t wait to hear his name.”
“He is the newly widowed Prince Ch’un, Hsien Feng’s seventh brother.”
Mother was thrilled.
“However,” I warned, “‘widowed’ doesn’t mean that Prince Ch’un has no wives or concubines. It is just the first wife’s position that is vacant.”
“I see.” Mother nodded. “Still, Prince Ch’un would be an excellent opportunity for Rong. She would be the Nuharoo of Ch’un’s household, wouldn’t she?”
“That’s correct, Mother, if she can get him to be interested.”
“What more can a family of our background ask? A life free of hunger-that is all I ever wanted for my children. My marriage with your father was arranged. We had never met before our wedding. It turned out nicely, though, didn’t it?”
“More than nicely, Mother.”
We were quiet for a time, our fingers locked tightly together. Then Mother said, “My thinking is, you and Rong could become close if this engagement works out. It’ll be my last wish on earth that you watch out for each other. Besides, Rong can be an extra eye for you regarding Tung Chih’s safety.”
I nodded at Mother’s wisdom.
“Go now to your sister, Orchid,” Mother said, “and leave me to spend a few moments alone with my grandson.”
I went to Rong and took her to the back of the garden. We sat down in a tiny stone pavilion. I explained my thoughts and Mother’s wish. Rong was pleased that I had kept my promise of finding her a suitor.
“Will Prince Ch’un like me?” she asked. “How should I prepare myself?”
“Let’s see if he will fall for you first. My question to you is-and this is crucial-will you be able to endure the hardships I have endured?”
“Hardships? You are mocking me, aren’t you?”
A sense of uncertainty rushed through my mind. Rong had no idea what I was talking about.
“Rong, my life is not what it seems. You need to see this. I don’t want to be the cause of your regret. I just don’t want to set up a tragedy.”
Rong blushed. “But Orchid, I have dreamed only of having the same opportunity you have. I want to be envied by women all over China.” She smiled broadly.
“Answer my question, Rong, please. Can you bear to lose your husband to others?”
Rong thought first and then replied, “If it is the way things have been for hundreds of years, I don’t see why I should be the one to have problems.”
I took a breath and gave my last warning. “When you are in love with a man, you will change. I am telling you from experience, the pain is unbearable. You will feel your heart being stir-fried in a hot pan.”
“I better make sure I don’t fall in love, then.”
“You might not be able to control things.”
“Why?”
“Well, because to love is to live-at least that’s true for me.”
“What do I do, then, Orchid?” Confused, Rong’s eyes widened.
Sadness filled my chest and I had to remain silent to control myself.
Rong put her cheek gently against mine. “You must have fallen in love with Emperor Hsien Feng.”
“It was… foolish of me.”
“I’ll remember your lesson, Orchid. I know it must be hard. But I still envy my elder sister. There hasn’t been a decent man in my life. It makes me think that I am unattractive.”
“You know that is nonsense, Rong. How unattractive can you be when your sister is an Imperial consort, the face of China?”
Rong smiled and nodded.
“It’s true, you have grown prettier.” I put my arm around her shoulder. “I want you to be aware of your beauty every minute from now on.”
“What does ‘minute’ mean?”
“It is a needle on a clock.”
“What is a clock?”
“Well, I’ll show you. Clocks are the Emperor’s toys. They tell time. Clocks hide in metal boxes, like snails in their shells. Each box has a little ticking heart inside.”
