Shards of Us

Chapter Five

I wake up to something warm and soft beneath me. Everything is blurry and distant, and I feel myself stirring, feel the heat creep into my body, feel something conforming beneath me. A mattress, I decide it is. A bed. I'm in a bed.

I force myself to open my eyes. My skin is hot and sweaty, and I realize immediately that I've been panting. A lot. My throat feels hoarse as I gulp in a breath, so strained and overused. I must have screamed a lot too.

And then there's only one word on my tongue:

Ash.

Ash could be dead.

My body starts shaking at the thought. Oh fuck oh fuck. What if she's dead? What if my only friend is dead? And for what? I can't even remember. I just remember people running up the stairs, gunfire everywhere, and then… Sebastian. Screaming at me. Telling me to save her from these men. I don't even know who they were. I don't know where I am. I don't know why any of what happened, happened.

I don't know anything.

I jolt up in bed, sweat covering my face, gasping for breath. Everything is dark around me, but if I squint I can make out my general surroundings. The bed is positioned at the end of a huge, domed hall, with marble walls and several pillars at the ends of the hall. A giant door stands to my right, leading to a room with a yellowish glow. A bathroom, maybe. There are no windows in the building, no obvious signs of escape. I squint and look around to see better.

The walls are covered in paintings of sorts, long and wispy and colorful, like expert hieroglyphs of sorts. My bed is king sized, and the sheets are so soft and warm, and the frame behind me looks to be made of porcelain or something. Definitely not cheap, whatever it is. No one else appears to be in the hall, though. Besides the creaking of the heater below me, there is not a sound in the whole place.

I take in another breath. The air is thick and smells almost like soap. Odd, I find myself thinking. Behind me sits a small dinner table, with two chairs tucked in. Empty plates sit on the edge of the wooden frame, as if waiting to be used. And then, at the end of the hall, I see a door. It's small and dark, almost indistinguishable against the pitch black room, but my eye latches onto it right away and doesn't let go.

Quietly, I slip out of the sheets, and gently touch my bare feet to the cool marble floor. I take a step forward. Pain jolts through me. My legs are stiff and my muscles feel totally sore, like I'd just run a marathon and don't even remember it. Gritting my teeth, I take another step, then another, then another, fighting through the pain. My heart thrums in my chest as I approach the door, and I try to walk in rhythm to it, step, beat, step, beat, step, beat. My whole body is throbbing by the time I reach the door, but I don't even care. I walk toward it hungrily, reaching out my arm to the handle. I can see yellow light slipping out from the small crack beneath it, and it's the most beautiful sight in the world. I know I need to get out of here, wherever here is. I know that after what happened last night, I am not safe.

Finally, once I stumble over to the door, I reach out a trembling hand, wrap it around the cool brass handle, and I try to turn it.

Nothing.

My heart stops.

I try again, harder this time.

Still nothing.

I hold my breath, the fear rushing in.

No no no no no. No! NO!

I feel sick again, feel hurt and broken and sick. I try again and again, jostling the knob, desperately trying to get it to come apart, but nothing happens.

My stomach twists, and tears cloud my eyes. This can't be happening. I can't be fucking trapped in here.

I jerk the knob some more, rip at it, desperately try to jerk the door open, but that doesn't quite happen. Instead, the knob goes flying backward.

And just like that, there's no way to get through.

I break into a sob, and I scream a little, because I'm locked in a dark room and my best friend is nowhere to be seen and Sebastian almost murdered me and I don't know what's happening anymore. Not knowing what else to do, I helplessly pound on the door and beg to be let out. 'SOMEONE HELP ME!' I scream at the top of my lungs, tears rushing down my face. My throat is still raw and hurt form before--whenever that was. 'HELP ME! PLEASE! I'M TRAPPED!' I choke out more air and tears, feeling my heart hurt more and more, but no one comes. No one rescues me. I'm left here, all alone.

After a few minutes, I slump to the ground, defeated. My body crumples up. I'm hurt and aching and I can barely see my own hands, and all I remember is the look in Sebastian's eyes when he told me to save Ash, the look of a true fear.

I loved him. I cared for him. I trusted him.

And look what he did.

He… he knocked me unconscious. He held a gun to my head.

I thought he wanted me too. But he almost killed me… and now he's just gone. I don't know where he is. It occurs to me then that I don't even know where I am, or why I'm here, or even who brought me here. Was it Sebastian? Did he lock me up? Did he bring me here just so he could kill me like he killed those men?

And then another thought hits me: what if it wasn't Sebastian who captured me? What if it was those men who he said were after him, the ones who would've given Ash something worse than death? What if they killed Sebastian and now they're here for me?

I bury my head in my hands. Oh god oh god. I can't die yet. I can't die. I take it back. I want my life. I want my crappy job and annoying friend. I want my loneliness. Anything is better than this. My eyes feel hot and puffy from the tears, but I keep letting them slip out, tasting their bitter saltiness, the unmistakable feel of defeat.

I'm done.

It's over.

I'm locked in here with no food or water.

I am never going to get out alive.

The defeat rushes in quickly and painfully. I'm going to die here. I'm going to die alone and the dark. No one is here, no one is coming to save me. There is no way I'll make it.

I crumple up, crying harder, when I realize it. My throat is as dry as it is raw, but my hair and body feel clean and soft… I sit up suddenly.

My whole body is clean. I smell like soap--that's what I was smelling! My hair feels newly wet and my skin is cool and relaxed, like I'd just gotten out of the shower.

But I didn't take a shower.

Then, I look down. I realize I'm wearing a dress. Not just any dress, but the black dress I didn't wear the night of what happened to Ash. My heart pounds faster. I feel for my lips. I'm wearing lipstick again too, but there's no way my lipstick stayed intact the whole night. Which means…

Someone showered and dressed me.

The thought makes my stomach churn and more tears come to my eyes. There's only one reason I can think of for someone to dress me like this, and the result is not pretty.

My body quivers. I don't know what's happening. I don't know why I'm here. All I know is that I just want to leave, with my life intact.

I haven't felt this hopeless in two years. 

Chapter Six