Shards of Us

I wake up to the sound of the shower running. My eyes shoot open right away.

A shower.

Someone else is here.

I look around desperately for the sound as soon as I sit up in bed, until I finally pinpoint it as coming from the small bathroom off to the side I saw earlier. I stand up, but my legs still feel weak. I realize then that there's a blanket around me. I know for a fact I didn't leave it there. The room is cold, though, and the blanket feels nice and warm against my skin, as if whoever put it there was actually doing me a favor.

I throw the blanket off of me as soon as the thought crosses my mind.

I'm not an idiot. I know all about Stockholm Syndrome. It's sure as hell not happening to me.

So I stand up. My body is still shaking, but at least I can walk without stumbling now. I take one small step after another toward the open door and the sound of the shower, the cool tile making the toes on my bare feet curl. I try to breathe evenly, to open and close my eyes and focus on the light streaming out of the bathroom, to do anything but let this fear that's clinging to me take over.

Someone is definitely here, and that someone may be my one key to getting out of this place, whatever it is.

My head throbs as I make my way over, but I ignore it, focusing on each of my tiny steps instead, on making sure I don't make a sound as I move across the room. Finally, I reach the wall beside the open door, and I stop, catch a breath. My heart is pounding again. I don't even know what I'm doing--I most certainly don't have a plan--but I know I need to get out of here. I can't be locked up like this. I can't be dead.

I have to go home. I have to tell the police what happened. I have to--

I look down, searching for anything to use as a weapon. I don't know who locked me up here, but I'm certain they're dangerous. My eyes lock on an empty plate left outside of the bathroom. I pick it up slowly, careful not to make a sound, and I inch along the wall until I'm just beside the open door where the yellow light pours out of.

I take a deep breath, holding up the plate in attack position. The shower is still running, but I can't hear anyone in there. I hesitate. What if they overpower me? What if this gets me killed? What if it doesn't well?

I push away the thought immediately, because for all I know, this is my only chance at freedom. It's now or never.

My heart races as I lift up the plate, turn into the open door, and charge the shower. I burst through the curtains, prepared to hit whoever over the head with the plate, but no one is there. The shower is empty.

My stomach drops. My chest heaves. I take in one last defeated breath, and I'm about to collapse into the corner and cry some more, cry for being so stupid and foolish, when I hear the click of a gun behind me.

I whirl around, and every muscle in my body freezes at once.

A gun.

Trained on me.

My body has already started shaking as I turn to see what is going on, praying whoever it is doesn't kill me in the process. What I find instead hurts more than anything in the world.

'Care for a drink, angel?' Sebastian says in his usual singsong voice. The rage courses through me as soon as I meet his gaze. He is still wearing his business suit, his jaw newly-shaven, his grin huge and toothy. One hand holds a gun pointed at my head, while the other holds out a champagne glass for me.

Sebastian.

Sebastian is here.

He locked me up, and now he looks like he wants to kill me.

I want to scream. To cry. How could I be so fucking moronic? How could I fall for someone who would do this to me? How come once I feel even the slightest bit of happiness, it all goes to hell?

'Take it,' Sebastian says, moving the wine glass closer, but I refuse to take it. My hand whips out and before I know what's happening, I knock the glass out of his hand and it goes flying, smashing against the bathroom wall, shattering into a million pieces.

'That works too,' he says, looking at the glass with amusement, but I'm not even listening. My whole body shakes.

'You bastard!' I scream despite myself, tears burning into my eyes. 'I trusted you! And look what you do! You betray me!' My throat is still sore, but it feels good to let it all out, even if the only result is my voice breaking out into a fit of coughs.

Sebastian's blue eyes are fiery and passionate at my words. 'Betray you?' he roars. 'I fucking saved you, angel!' He reaches out his free hand to grab my arm. I try to struggle out of his grip, but he's too strong and he doesn't let go. His eyes burn into mine, anger and intensity rushing out of him. 'What do you think those men would have done to you if they caught you? Because let me tell you, they sure as hell wouldn't have let you off scot free. They were after you, angel! They were after both of us! I brought you here to save you!'

I shake my head slowly back and forth, not believing it. The trembles keep on coming. 'There's no reason for them to come after me,' I whisper. This can't be real. None of this can be real. Sebastian would never do this to me. Sebastian would never lock me up like this.

He throws back his head, laughing angrily. 'Oh but there is, my angel. Looks like you aren't so pure and innocent after all, huh?'

I keep on shaking my head. I don't know what else to do anymore. 'No,' I say, my voice cracking. 'No. No! You didn't save me. You locked me up here. You… you left me here, no food, no water, no nothing.' My head keeps hurting. I just want to cry again, but the tears refuse to come. It's like everything has been sucked out of me, like there is nothing left but this deep, nagging emptiness in the pit of my stomach.

Sebastian's eyes burn with anger at that. He looks like he's on the verge of exploding as he pulls me up with his iron grip, bringing me into his arms. His voice is hot and passionate as he growls, 'Did you not notice? I fed you. I gave you water. I showered you. I've been the perfect gentleman for the last two days, all because of you!' He drops his voice. 'I never even touched you,' he says, like he's whispering the darkest secret in the world.

My body just keeps shaking. I open my mouth to protest, but he doesn't stop there. 'And I didn't just lock you in here!' he screams. 'I slept on the ground outside of the safe house. I let you have the bed and the blankets… I let you have all of it. Your own room. Your own security. Because I don't deserve the security. I don't deserve anything. But you do, angel. You deserve it all.' His face is red from shouting, but there is a certain brokenness to it, a hurt I didn't expect, and it feels like all of the air is sucked out of me.

'Where--where is Ash?' I whisper, not knowing what else to say. I try to breathe deeply, to stay strong and focus on Sebastian, even though all I really want to do is crumple up and cry. None of this makes any sense. None of this can ever be real.

He looks away like he's been slapped. His eyes focus on the barred window in the corner of the bathroom, and his jaw works like he's torn between saying something and not.

'Where?' I repeat, louder this time, but my voice continues to shake.

He sighs. Locks eyes with mine. His whole face is filled with something dark and pained, and he looks at me in that same apologetic way as he did the night of the kidnapping, his eyes burning holes into mine. 'She's dead,' he says in a low voice, not looking away. 'Ash is dead.'

My heart shatters as soon as he says it. I feel frozen, feel my muscles tense up, feel every part of me hurting again. 'What?' I whisper, a tear running down my cheek. Ash is dead. Ash is fucking dead. The one person left, the one person who supported me, is dead. And it's all because of him. 'Why didn’t you save her?' I say, louder this time. 'Why didn't you fucking help her, Sebastian?'

He looks at me sadly, reaching out to hold me, but I step back, pressing myself against the wall. I think for a second that he's going to yank me back over to him, but he doesn't. He just stands there, watching me, his eyes looking more pained than ever. 'The men were already there,' he says quietly. 'It was too late. We had to leave, and I could only take one of you. It was you or her.' His eyes are fixated on mine, but I just keep sobbing, shaking, praying this is all some elaborate nightmare. 'I had to choose. And I chose you.'

I start shaking my head back and forth. This can't be real. She can't be dead. He must be lying to me. I can't