Shards of Us

about Sebastian and what Ash is going to find out about him and how I'm possibly going to come clean about breaking his trust without making him hate me, and also, a little, worrying I won't like what I find out about him.

I dismiss the thought immediately, telling myself Sebastian means so much to me that it doesn't matter who he is or what he does; I'll always care about him. No exceptions. And anyway, I have more important things to worry about. Like how I'm going to break rule number two tonight without Sebastian even knowing. He trusts me--I can see it in his eyes--and I'm still deceiving him. My heart hurts at the thought. I'm deceiving the one person I care about, and for what? For my own curiosity? It's like losing everything I care about all over again, except this time it will be my fault.

I look at myself in the mirror more closely, shaking my head. A pair of sad brown eyes stare back at me, remains of the happy person I once was. My dark hair cascades onto my shoulder, and two cheekbones poke out of my pale face. The red lipstick and mascara brings the rest of me together, but I feel off wearing it today, like everything about this outfit is wrong. My gaze drops down to the black dress snug against my body, and suddenly something about this dress seems especially wrong to me. It's the dress I always wear to my meetings with Sebastian, yes, but today isn't like the other night, and it feels like another level of betrayal to pretend as if it is. So not knowing what else to do, I change from my black dress to a red one.

That was the first sign.

Finally, at about 10 p.m., I hear a knock at my front door. 'Come in!' I call. The door clicks open a minute later, and the door swings open.

I spin around to see Ash rushing inside, wearing a fancy white dress and smiling at me. 'You ready?' she asks.

'Not a bit.' It's the truth.

She sighs. 'You don't have to do anything but act normal. I'll do the rest, don't worry. Okay?'

I bite my lip. I can act normal, right? I can do that. Yes. I can do that. 'Okay,' I manage to say. 'I… I'll try.

Her face lights up. 'Good. Now,' she says, taking my hand and dragging me away from the mirror. 'Let's go. You have a sexy man waiting for you in a certain little hotel room.'

The thought of Sebastian sitting there, not knowing I'm going to break one of his rules the next morning makes me feel sick. I can't hurt someone I care so much about. I can't. But I also need to know who he is. I need to make sure I'm safe with him, and more than that, I want to be able to take our relationship to another level.

I barely have time to mutter, 'Fine' before Ash drags me out of my crappy apartment and into the icy winter air. Snow comes down little by little, white spots amid the night sky. Everything is dark, so dark, and the air feels too thick, kind of, or maybe too hazy. I'm not sure what it is, but right then I know with every bone in my body that something about tonight is off. But still, I say nothing.

That was the second sign.

Ash drives us to Hotel de Galaxia in her red Jeep. It's not a pleasant trip, to say the least. She speeds down the streets and slams on the brakes at every stop sign, jerking me forward against the seatbelt and then soon after, when she hits the accelerator, throwing me back against the seat. Rinse. Repeat.

My heart is in my throat the whole drive there, and not just from her poor driving. Everything about this plan feels so wrong, sends all kinds of alarm throughout my body, but I grit my teeth and tell myself I'm just being paranoid. I tell myself I'll be okay. It's not like one little thing will matter that much, right?

A few minutes later, we arrive at the hotel with a jolt as Ash slams on the brakes. She lets me out of her car with a smile and a blown kiss after that, watching me go. 'I'll just park the car in the lot here and will wait either in the lobby or outside your room for when he comes out in the morning,' she assures me. 'You have nothing to worry about. Now you two lovebirds have a good time.'

I force a smile. It's amazing how fake it suddenly feels. 'Okay. Thank you.'

'Night, Crystal,' she calls as she hits the accelerator and starts driving toward the parking lot.

'Night, Ash,' I call back, but my voice gets carried off with the wind.

For a minute, I just stand at the steps in front of the hotel, closing my eyes and letting the night air clear my head. I don't want to do this. I really don't want to do this. But I want to know who Sebastian is too badly, and Ash is right--it's not like anything could go wrong. The worst that can happen is he catches her following him and tells her to leave. Sighing, I turn back around and step into the hotel.

The same warm air greets me as soon as I'm inside. The hotel lobby is not as it always is. A red carpet stretches the length of the floor, chandeliers hang overhead, a small fire is positioned in the corner where a pianist plays Beethoven, and a few people in business suits sitting beside her, whispering something in hushed voices over glasses of wine. But other than that, the place is empty. Not a single person sits in the dining room, or on one of the couches, or seems to be waiting in the stairwell. No one. At all.

And if there's one thing I know about this hotel, it's that it's almost always packed.

I frown. 'Where is everyone?' I ask the man at the front desk, whose gray moustache seems to have doubled in size since I was last here.

He shrugs. 'I don't know, miss. It's odd, huh?'

'Yeah,' I say uncertainly, glancing around the completely empty lobby, working hard not to get paranoid. 'It's… definitely odd.'

That was the third sign.

I shake my head, telling myself it's nothing. I mean, of course it's nothing. It's not like Sebastian could know what I'm about to do, or even if somehow he did, there is no way he could make so many guests leave at once. And there's no reason he'd want to, anyway. It's not like I'm plotting to kill him or anything.

But still, this whole situation just feels… wrong. Like everything else has tonight.

I walk up the stairs with my head down anyway, pretending to be normal, listening to the sound of the Beethoven music fade slowly away…

The hall at the third floor is totally empty. I walk through it with my heart pounding, but the buzz of excitement I usually get at the thought of Sebastian is gone tonight. Once I reach room 364, I stop. My heart pounds faster and faster, and I'm sure the guilt is written all over my face, but I know I have to do this anyway. I take a single deep breath before opening the door.

It creaks open, slow and steady, like they do in haunted houses. I step inside, closing the door behind me, holding my breath.

The room revealed is dark. Pitch black kind of dark. My heart hammers in my chest faster now, and I feel my stomach knot, feel the queasiness setting in. I take a tentative step forward, trying to stay calm.

The air in the room is cold. It's never been cold before. But now, it feels like this whole place hasn't been occupied for years. Another step. I can't see where I'm going. Oh hell, I can't see where I'm going.

'Sebastian?' I call. Nothing. I listen to the thump of my heart, beat, beat, beat.

The room is silent. Deathly silent.

'Sebastian?' I call again. My voice cracks a little, and I can feel my hands shaking. My heart pounds even faster. 'Sebastian, answer me. This… this isn't a joke.' A sinking feeling washes over me, because there is nothing. Nothing at all.

Then, something creaks behind me.

I spin around immediately. My heart leaps into my throat. But when I scan the area, I see nothing but darkness.

I numbly feel my way over to the chair in the corner where I know the light is. I feel so sick all of a sudden, so guilty and nauseous and for once, I want to be anywhere but here. When I reach the chair, I look around again, but there is no sign of Sebastian at all. I feel around for a bit before my hand finds the lamp. I fumble with switch until I am finally able to turn it on.

Light floods the room almost instantaneously. I look around for Sebastian, but no one is here. Shit. The bed is unmade, the usual diamond rose petals are gone. No music is playing and no wine is set out.

Sebastian is late.