Pointing to them in turn he says, “Connie, your mum and…” There is a light tap on the door and he jumps up to open it. Our burgers are here. I might be stuck at home, but I sure do live in the right place.
We tuck in and watch my film. Then Max clears the plates away and comes back, looking more fidgety.
“What’s up?” I ask.
“I want to give you this and I know you’re not going to want to take it.” He pulls my phone out of his pocket.
I pull back from the phone slightly, not wanting to be too near it. “Not yet,” I say quietly.
“Here's the problem. You need to be in communication with everyone, you might need one of us urgently and we need to check you are okay. You’re just going to have to suck it up. It’s for your own good.” He drops it into my lap. “It’s on too.”
“Max. I don’t want to hear anything he has to say, can you at least delete the messages?”
“There weren’t any. Apart from, you know, a couple that night.”
I draw in a deep breath and desperately hope that I don’t look as gutted as I feel. I walked out on him almost two weeks ago, with no explanation whatsoever, and he hasn’t even texted me. He is such a selfish, fucking bastard. If I hadn’t seen what he did, I could be living with him now, setting myself up for an even bigger fall.
“None?” I can’t help myself.
“No, but…”
“What?”
“…You should call him, you know.” He
sounds afraid of the repercussions.
“No fucking way! He doesn’t even know why I left and he still doesn’t give a shit.” I rant. “He only cares about himself.”
“Liv, that makes no sense. He flew five thousand miles just to see you and then when he fell in love…” I start to interrupt, but Max silences me. “When you both fell in love, he happily and without hesitation let go of his friends, family and home to be with you.” He sighs. “You certainly can’t say he only thinks about himself.”
“But he cheated!” How can Max think like that?
“Did he?” Max responds. “Did you actually see that happen?”
I recoil. Where is this all coming from? I thought he supported me. Why would he be saying these things? Then it dawns on me. He must have spoken to Danny.
“I think you should talk to him,” he says.
“Have
Max stands up and walks towards the door, turning before he opens it. “Just hear him out, Liv,” he says and is gone.
I’m left, mouth open, staring at the back of the door. I can’t believe this. I actually feel betrayed by Max, something I thought was impossible. I drop my head back on the sofa and stare at the ceiling. A tear rolls down my cheek.
I wake with a start. I’d drifted off to sleep, bloody drugs. The phone is ringing and for a second I can’t get my head together. I start to get up, sending a jolt through my ankle in the process. It’s the first time I’ve accidentally tried to move it in such a way that it really hurts, and for a second I think I’m going to throw up. I breathe deeply to clear the queasiness and ouch! My ribs protest. I’m such a mess. The phone continues to ring. I’m more awake now and my knee-jerk attempt to answer it seems ridiculous in the light of day. I don’t need/want to speak to whoever it is and I’m trying to kill myself to get it.
It rings off. We have a code in my family for times like these, let it ring once and hang up, then ring again. So if it was Mum, or Grace or Connie, I would know. It could have been anyone, it could have been…Oh God, my heart bangs hard in my chest. It could have been him! Although, if he was too selfish to call me when I left him, why would he bother now? Even so, I’m thankful I turned off the answer machine a few days ago. I sit up and get myself together. I need the loo, this should be interesting. Having shuffled around until the footstool isn’t in my way and I have my crutches, I wiggle to the edge of my seat and stand up. It’s harder than you would think not being able to put my foot on the floor at all, especially as it’s so heavy. I’m just in the bathroom when I hear Connie calling me.
“Liv? Where are you? What’s happened?” She sounds worried.
For God’s sake! “I’m on the loo!” I yell back, it’s not an international emergency.
“Do you need some help?” she says from the other side of the door, which I’m thankful now that I closed.
“Er, no. I think I’ve got it,” I say.
When I emerge, she is still hovering. “Come and sit down,” she fusses.
“Alright, I can manage.”
Although, having said that, as I sit down, I pass the point of no return and the sofa is low, so I’m left with the choice between either banging my foot down or banging the rest of me down. It hurts.
“Careful!” admonishes Connie as I suck in air between my teeth.
“Thanks,” I say sarcastically. “I forgot.”
“Oh, we are in a sour mood today, aren’t we?” Connie takes none of my nonsense.
I sigh. “Sorry, I’m just so frustrated.”
“And you’ve had a disagreement with Max.”
“Actually, we are yet to have the disagreement, he ran away.” I sneer. “But it’s coming.”
“Come on, he’s looking after you.”
“I think he’s talked to Danny and now I can’t trust him.”
“What’s the big problem if he has?”
“Well, now I feel like he isn’t completely on my side. He hasn’t tried to defend him, or pass on any messages, but he has heard him out, so now I feel like he has fallen for some kind of lie.” I huff.
“So you think Max would believe Danny and then turn on you?”
I shrug, knowing I’m being trapped.
“That’s all you think of Max?”
“No, I just…”
“You’re just wallowing in self-pity.”
I stare at her, daring her to continue, but she isn’t intimidated.
“Max loves you dearly and has looked out for you since the day you became friends. You should trust his judgement and advice. He would never put you in the path of harm.”
“But he thinks I should hear Danny out.” I scoff. “Not, mind you, that he’s beating down my door with an explanation. But even if he was, why would I listen to lies?”
“What if they’re not lies?” she says and holds my stare.
“He’s got to you too hasn’t he?” I say slowly. I’m staggered that I’ve lost everyone to whatever lie he is spinning.
“No one ‘gets’ to me,” she argues. “But you're not seeing reason right now and I’m just asking you to remember who is and will always be on your side.” Pausing, she strokes my hair. “If Max thinks you should talk to him then maybe you should.”
I shake my head. “I’m going to go and lie down,” I say absently. I start to shuffle my way up to my feet and Connie stands to help me. “I can manage,” I snap.
“Okay.” She holds her hands up and steps back so that I can pass. “I’ll check on you later then,” she says as I go into the bedroom. I feel really guilty as I sink into my freshly made bed and turn on my new TV, all courtesy of Max. There’s another small silver remote on the bedside table and a satellite remote like the one in the living room, which controls the same box, via a little sensor thing sitting beneath the TV. He has really thought of everything to make me comfortable…I’m being a real bitch. I just don’t know which way to turn right now and I wish I had one person I could talk to about it, that wasn’t a Danny sympathiser.
Hopefully, they’ll drop it eventually, when they see I’m not budging. I try to find a comfortable position and close my eyes. Drifting, I start to wonder what Danny could have said to Max that would make him switch like that. I suppose I can’t really blame Max, I couldn’t believe that Danny could treat me like this either. Maybe believing the lie was easier than accepting the disappointing truth.
