need.
“You okay?” he asks, as I stare out the window.
I nod.
“Does it feel better, not having that big bandage?”
“Much. I just wish I could have a really good wash though.” I’m unsure why I’m being so forthcoming. I could have kept that to myself. My cheeks flush from the embarrassment. “I mean, I can’t go in the shower at home and with no bath, I just have to wash at the sink every day.” I waffle. STOP TALKING! I shake my head, grateful that he can’t see how embarrassed I am.
We turn off too early to be going back to the bar, I look at Danny quizzically. “Where are we going?”
“I thought you would want to show Max your new cast.” He smiles. “Besides, I don’t have to be back until six.” He swings into Max’s drive and switches off the engine.
He helps me out of the car and hands me my crutches. “Thanks.”
“Max?” He calls out as we enter the hall.
“Yeah. How did it go?” He calls back. “Did she flip when…” He trails off as we walk through into the kitchen.
I narrow my eyes at him as he clamps his hand over his mouth.
“No ‘she’ didn’t flip!” I quip. “But ‘she’ isn’t a child and wouldn’t mind being kept in the loop.”
Danny chuckles as he switches the kettle on. I perch on a barstool and chat to Max about the trip to the hospital while Danny makes tea and potters around Max’s kitchen. He seems at home here. Max really likes him. While we chat, Danny disappears.
Five minutes later he’s back with a big grin. He holds out his hand for me and I take it. It’s just becoming second nature again and my mind puts up no resistance to automatically placing my hand in his. I look at him for answers but he just leads me towards the back of the house, where he’s staying in the downstairs guest room. I follow willingly until we reach the door, then I baulk at the suggestion that we are ‘there’ yet.
“Don’t worry,” Danny says, laughing. “It’s not THAT!”
He leads me in and closes the door. I’m frowning.
“What am I doing here?” I ask.
He walks towards the bathroom and waits for me to look through the door.
Annoyed, I hop over and peer in. He has run me a bath. A big, steaming bubble bath! The bathroom is warm and humid and smells fantastic. I smile.
“Now the only problem is that someone has to help you in. Do you want me to get Max?”
I take a minute to figure out what he’s saying. Oh, someone will have to see me naked! I get it. Yeah, maybe he’d better get Max.
I’m just about to say this, when my mouth betrays me. “No, you can do it.” My tone is slightly reluctant, but I don’t actually feel that reluctant. God, I feel like my body, mind, mouth and heart are all working for themselves. I need to get my shit together.
“If you don’t mind that is,” I add. Maybe he doesn’t want to.
“I don’t mind,” he says softly and I can see in his eyes, he has no ulterior motive.
He leaves me for a moment to get undressed and when he goes I start to panic. Is this a good idea? I feel disgusting. Do I want him to see my body? There is no time for second thoughts when he gently taps on the door a few minutes later. I’m sitting on the edge of the big bath wrapped in a towel and he comes confidently towards me and scoops me up in his strong arms. I put my arm around his shoulders and grip tightly. He puts his hand under my cast and supports me while I stand on my good foot in the warm water. I slip my towel off and ease myself into the water as he gently places my leg onto a folded towel resting on the edge of the bath.
“Don’t splash it,” he warns as he wraps another towel around it to protect it from flying droplets.
The bubbles protect what is left of my modesty and I instantly relax as I lay back.
“Oh my God. Thank you.” I groan with pleasure as I let myself go.
“Anytime.” I can hear the smile in his voice even though my eyes are closed. “I’ll leave you.”
I open my eyes and look at him. “Stay...Talk to me.” I know I’m dropping my guard.
“Okay.” He sits on the floor with his back leaning against the cabinet.
I sigh into the bubbles, who else would really do this for me? I feel very cherished.
“So two weeks in that cast?” he asks to break the silence.
“Yes, then back again for more prodding and poking.” I grumble.
“I’d no idea they could put so many screws in a human being!” He’s referring to the x-ray he saw. He looked pained when he saw it, like he felt it for me and I know it’s because he loves me.
“Well, I never do anything by halves.”
“Are you okay?” he asks, concern etched on his face.
“Yes, this is lovely thanks.”
“No, I mean in general.” He sighs. “You’ve been through a lot recently…most of it my fault.”
“Danny, this isn’t your fault, it was an accident.” I know I’ve felt like blaming him, but it could have happened anyway and I don’t want him feeling responsible.
A silence stretches out between us.
“Do you have any shampoo?” I ask.
“Sure.” He smiles and sits forward to open the cabinet behind him. “There are all kinds in here.” He starts rummaging. “Here!” he says triumphantly as he pulls out my brand of shampoo and conditioner.
“Max likes to keep all of his guests happy.” I giggle, secretly pleased he knew which was my favourite.
I try to sit forward and reach the shower head, but with one leg out of the bath it isn’t easy.
“Would you let me do it for you?” He asks cautiously, kneeling beside me.
I look up to him and smile. I nod my head slowly, knowing I’m allowing an intimacy that I shouldn’t be ready for, but it’s too appealing to say no.
Danny sets to work adjusting the water temperature before he wets my hair. I grasp the handles either side of the bath to keep me sitting up and tip my head back. Danny tentatively smoothes my hair down with his hand under the jet of water. Then he turns it off and pours some shampoo into his hand. As his fingers begin to massage my scalp, I can’t help the contented sigh that escapes me. It feels so good to be close to him again, I can feel my resolve weakening.
Danny rinses out the shampoo gently. “One more?” he asks.
“Mmmm. Please.”
He dutifully does another shampoo and then once the conditioner is in he sits back and wipes his hands on a towel. I love that he knows I will want to leave the conditioner in for a while and I smile a little to myself.
“So you bought a car?” I say, for no particular reason. I don’t know what else we can talk about.
“Yeah. I need to get around you know.” He seems defensive.
“I know, but that’s a big deal. A new car.” I hesitate. Should I ask him if he plans to stay?
He speaks before I have to decide. “I’ve looked at them before, in LA. But I never really justified it to myself. I just thought, what the hell.”
“It’s nice,” I say, bottling out of asking.
“Thanks. When I saw it, I knew you would like it.” He seems a little shy.
I’m flattered that I was even a consideration in choosing his car, but it also feels like a lot of pressure on me to take him back. Silence again…I want to ask him where he will live if he is staying, but I can’t, because I know he wants to live with me and I can’t promise him that. I don’t want to know his plans almost as much as I do, it’s infuriating.
“Shall I rinse your hair?” he asks, sensing a need for a change of subject.
After he has finished rinsing it he gently wraps it up in a towel. “Do you want to get out now?” he asks.
“I think I should before I turn into a prune.” I laugh.
Danny gets another towel ready, thank goodness for Max and his ridiculously over-dressed guest suite. It’s like a five-star hotel.
“Now, when you stand up, it’s really important that we keep this towel round your leg to stop all the water running into your cast.. So I’ll hold it okay?”
“Okay.” I’m amused by his efficiency.
He hands me the towel I will wrap around myself and wraps one arm around my back, under my arm and
