I nodded. “Okay.”
“Christina.” I heard my name ruminate on his tongue.
I showed him some stilettos and he eventually settled on a silver pair that wrapped around the leg.
I went to get the shoes for him and took them to the register. He was there waiting patiently. I rang up the shoes at over 250 dollars and he paid for it all in cash.
“Have a great day,” I told him.
“You too Christina.”
No shudder went up my spine, and I turned normally to go clock out. I exited through the store, as it was still early, and I found him waiting on the bench outside of the store.
“Hello,” he said with a sheepish grin and a wave.
“Hi,” I said.
He handed me the bag of shoes. “These are for you.”
“What?”
“These shoes are for you. You look like you could use something nice.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“It could mean whatever you want.”
I took the bag and looked into it even though I knew exactly what it was. I actually picked out some shoes for myself. If he wanted to throw away his money like that, fine, but I was pretty sure he expected something in return, something I could not give him.
“Give me a call. You need to have some fun, I can tell.” He slipped me his business card, a fancy, embossed affair.
I went home and hid the shoes; and then I called him.
I called him because on the bus ride home, with the box of shoes resting at my feet, I convinced myself that I had to know why he bought me those shoes. I knew why, but I wanted to hear it, even though he would never admit it.
***
One thing I could always say about Andrew is that he’s honest, and he did tell me why, but it wasn’t the answer I was expecting.
“I will take care of you, buy you anything you want and take you anywhere you want to go as long as you continue to be the sexy little thing you are.”
“Why though?”
“It’s what I do.” I imagined him shrugging as he said this.
“You’ve done this before?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“I can’t commit.”
After a pause, I said, “Me neither.”
“Then this works out for both of us then, until we feel the need to move on.”
“Okay then.”
I hate the term, but I am what I am — a sugar baby. An older man is paying my way through this time of life. He is my sugar daddy. I’ve been with him for 6 years and I find that I have not grown tired of our arrangement like I thought I would, and he hasn’t either. I’m living with him. He’s paying for my grandmother’s hospital care. He’s gotten me a new car every year that we’ve been together. He paid for me to go to community college and university and if I want my Masters, I can go back at any time. Never once though, have we said “I love you” or put a title on our arrangement other than arrangement and we haven’t talked about what we are and where we’re going. We’re just being right now. I guess that’s what I have always wanted.
***
I finished my run. Andrew was awake and dressed in his robe, cooking dinner. “How does Chicken Florentine sound tonight?”
“As long as you put that amazing hollandaise sauce on top of it,” I said.
“Of course I will.” He rarely cooks, but when he does, it’s amazing.
“I’m going to jump back in the shower.”
“Okay. Don’t be long.”
“Yes sir.”
After another night of sex, I stopped by my grandparents’ house — the house I grew up in — to check on things. My grandfather had passed away two years before, and with my grandmother in the hospital, no one was there to look after the house — Matthew had to escape from it all and decided to make his life in the middle of nowhere, Washington. Marcia just didn’t bother.
I picked up the mail out of its box and sorted it- a few bills that needed to be paid, credit card offers and junk mail that I threw out. I vacuumed the floor and made sure that the refrigerator was empty.
While I was doing my inspection, the doorbell rang. Not expecting anyone, I went to answer it, and found my mother and father at the door.
“Hi.”
“Hi,” they both said. My father scratched at an imaginary itch behind his head while my mother tepidly stepped into the house. “How’s everything?”
“Good. I was just checking the house and getting the mail and stuff,” I said. “Looking after the house.”
We were here for that too,” my mom said. “We’re going to the hospital afterwards. But, I mean, it looks like you have it all under control.”
I nodded. My dad stayed quiet.
“Have you heard from Matthew or Marcia?” Mom asked.
“No. Marcia never answers her phone and Matthew doesn’t have one.”
“Oh. Yeah. But how are you? Are you good? You look good.
“I’m fine.” I hesitated, “Someone is taking care of me.”
“Is he a good man?” she asked. I felt myself blush red.
“He is,” I said after an awkward pause.
“That’s good.”
“I think we should be leaving,” my father said after a while.
“Yeah, I think so too.”
I nodded. “I’ll lock up the house.”
“Of course you will,” she said. “She raised you to be responsible.”
Before she stepped out the door, my mother turned and said, “Do you love him?”
“No.” I said.
“That’s sad. You should at least know it once in your lifetime.”
I smiled a sad smile at her. “I don’t think I can.”
“I’m sorry.” And with that, she left.
***
Andrew was asleep on the couch in the den, a drink growing warm on the table.
I shook him gently. “Andrew?”
“Yeah?” He mumbled while still asleep.
“Are you ready to go to bed?”
“Yeah.” He stood up and I led him to bed. I got naked and molded myself against his body until we were spooning. He grinded his hips into my bare backside. “I can wake up a little for this.”
I moved to turn over onto my back, but he said, “I want you like this.” He raised himself up and entered me, cupping my breasts in his hands and kissing the back of my neck. I felt the heat of his body against mine and the small of my back tingled at his touch.
He raised my leg up a little. “Christina,” he whispered into my hair. His breath felt wonderful on my neck and he pinched one of my nipples gently, soliciting a moan out of my mouth.
“That’s what I want to hear.” He pinched me again.
He quickened his pace and clutched me to him tighter. I squeezed his dick with my muscles and a slight
