whistle escaped his lips before he came.
“You’re going to kill me woman,” he said, raising my leg up higher in the air and rubbing my clit in small circles until I was shaking and moaning in his embrace. “You’re so beautiful.”
I lied awake a little while longer, and maybe it was just the silence of the night messing with me, but I could’ve sworn I heard him say, “I need you.” I shook the thought out of my mind and fell asleep a little while afterwards.
***
Christmas, 1994
I was the first one up, excited with the anticipation of opening my presents. Matthew and Marcia dragged themselves out of bed. I knocked on my parents’ door, and my mother opened it with a smile on her face.
“Merry Christmas!!” I said in my high pitched voice.
“Merry Christmas sweetie.” My mother hugged me tight. My father put his robe on and hugged me too.
“Let’s open these presents,” he said, smiling also.
I tore through the wrapping paper with hurricane wind strength, and received a few Barbie dolls, a Game Boy with a few games and some clothing. Matthew and Marcia received video games and clothes respectively.
For me, this was the best Christmas we had as a family. All of our other Christmases were very modest or lacking in comparison. It was especially memorable because my parents didn’t argue.
“Here Sarah.” My father handed my mother a gift wrapped in some gold paper finer than any of the rest of us got. Suspicious, Mom opened it gingerly, revealing a jewelry box that contained a Cubic Zirconia tennis bracelet.
“Eddie?!”
He hushed her. “Don’t say anything. Just enjoy it.”
Mom enveloped him in a hug and kissed him several times. “Oh my God, thank you so much baby. Oh my God… it’s beautiful. Eddie….” Tears formed in her eyes. “Baby, I love you.”
“I love you too Sarah. I even said it on the back of the bracelet.”
She turned the bracelet over to see the engraving — Forever and always, I love you.
She hugged him once again. “Oh Eddie. Okay everyone, let’s clean up, and I’ll make breakfast; how does pancakes sound?”
Even Matthew and Marcia had to smile. “I love pancakes,” I said. Everyone laughed, a real laugh, one that made it seem like we were a family for once. For that brief moment, we were normal.
***
I woke up in the morning and made Andrew a quick breakfast and some coffee. He had to go to the office today and “actually do my job,” as he liked to say.
We sat across from one another at the glass and stainless steel table and made light conversation before he gave me a kiss on the cheek and headed out of the door, into the world, to do what he does best.
I washed the dishes and did some light house cleaning. I went into our own personal fitness center and lifted some light weights as my exercise for the day. I started our dinner for the evening and selected something sexy to wear while eating it. Presentation is everything. I collected the mail from the box and fielded a phone call from my sister.
She sounded annoyed as she usually was as I reported on my parents and my grandmother. I kept it as brief as possible with her before she made me angry.
I watched TV, my lingerie hiding underneath my robe, as my dinner finished and Andrew came home after 7. I threw my robe off and stretched myself across the couch when I heard him coming closer.
“They really needed the money man today,” he said with a smile.
“They really did,” I said, giving him a kiss.
“Something smells delicious, and someone looks delicious as well.”
“Go wash up for dinner.”
He returned looking more relaxed than when he came in — he discarded his suit jacket, his tie was undid and he was in his bare feet. I placed his plate in front of him before making my own.
He talked about work, occasionally rolling his neck on his shoulders. I replied at the appropriate moments. Once we had finished eating, and because of what I was wearing, I put the dishes in the dishwasher and set it. Andrew chased me upstairs where we fucked until we fell asleep, satisfied and awaiting the new day, where we would repeat our routine.
***
I learned long ago that nothing in my life was normal. Those brief moments of normalcy were few and far between for me, and I learned to accept it for what it was.
Yes, Andrew and I don’t have a normal relationship; we aren’t your typical situation. But it’s a lot better than what my parents had. We have made the most out of our little arrangement. It’s comfortable, and doing something different, trying to make a go at having a normal relationship is something that I can’t even fathom. If we stay together, that’s fine with me. It’s better than what I was going to lead myself to.
I never had to suffer while introducing him to my family, like I saw my sister do every time she introduced us to a serious boyfriend. Having children was not on our agendas, so I didn’t have to worry about how I would turn out as a mother — and the corresponding fear of turning into my mother. Our arrangement was perfect.
And maybe deep down inside, we do love each other.
It’s Not Love
by Lois Hodges
“Girls, let’s sing,” Carly said, all of a sudden, her eyes on the stage with the Karaoke music. Ally looked at her, confused, and then looked around the bar.
“Is that a good idea? I feel like things are about to explode at any moment,” she said, looking at the crowd. Townsfolk, tourists and everyone from the neighbouring villages, or so it felt, were sitting in the Grill, famished after the country fair festivities that the day had held.
“All the more reason to act normal,” Carly replied, a smile on her face. “We get up there, sing for our men and act like normal people. Gwen, you have to sing with us.”
“What?” Gwen looked up from her phone. “No, you girls go.”
“This is your job!” Carly replied. “You’re a professional, you have to come.”
“Uh…” Gwen smiled, trying not to turn around. Trying not to see Finn’s eyes burning into her. “You gonna pick a sappy love song for your boyfriends?”
“You can sing for me, sweet thing,” David purred, poking his best friend in the ribs. Gwen rolled her eyes, putting her phone in her pocket.
“Eternal Flame!” Carly cried to the DJ, who nodded and put on the CD as she dragged the other two to the front. “Just pretend you’re performing. That’s the romantic thing about being a performer, your whole audience is a love affair. Do you know the song?”
“Uh…yes…” Gwen smiled tightly, as they stood in front of the mics, all eyes on them as the opening strands of music cut through the house. She watched, as Carly’s eyes went to Tyrone, and Ally and Derrick shared an intense gaze. Only then, when everyone was distracted, did she dare to flicker her eyes up for a moment, dare to just for one second, look at Finn, who was doing the same thing.
“Close your eyes… give me your hand, Can you feel my heart beating… do you understand?”
It was such a complicated story that shouldn’t have been one. Gwen was a Broadway star, a triple threat so well on her way to fame that she wore sunglasses on the street for protection, not practicality. David, her lifelong best friend, recently moved to a small town in Virginia, living off a family trust that made him one of the wealthiest men in town. And so he lived hard and played hard; but always did his part by sitting on the town’s council and
