I felt like something had stabbed my heart.
Before I could make a move toward the foreign bag or to run back into the safety of my room, I heard Walker’s voice from his bedroom upstairs. “Hush, my roommate is sleeping. I don’t want to wake her.”
A familiar giggle emanated from the girl coming out of his room, making my heart sink more. I knew I’d heard that laugh before, but I just couldn’t seem to place it.
Still clinging to the counter for dear life, I could hear two sets of feet tiptoeing down the stairs, coming close to the kitchen. Walker was leading someone by the hand, but stopped dead in his tracks when he realized the kitchen light was on. I could only see him as he quickly turned to face me from the entrance of the kitchen.
A panicky frown filled his face. “Morning, Mags. I was trying not to wake you.” His eyes darted to his hand as he pulled the twittering girl into my view. My jaw dropped in disbelief as the blonde bartender from The Saloon came scooting into the entryway. “Mags, you remember Cindy, don’t you?” He wasn’t making eye contact with me.
I shook off my shock and moved toward Cindy, rage bubbling up in my stomach. I wanted to punch her in her giggling face; she was intruding on my home and my man, but I surprisingly kept my composure. With the images of tackling the whore to the ground in my thoughts, I forced a smile, my anger and calmness colliding making my brain thump angrily against my narrowing eyes.
“Hi, Cindy.” I waved. “Coffee? It just finished.”
I could not believe what was coming out of my mouth; my normal course of action would have been screaming for this bimbo to get the fuck out of my house, slapping Walker for the last forty-eight hours of torment he had put me through, and now this. He had just told me he wanted to be with me a day ago, and bringing this girl to my home was how he showed it? I did my best to mask the disdain in my voice, and to my surprise, Cindy didn’t seem to notice how upset I was.
A wave of relief came over me when Cindy declined my offer for coffee, claiming she needed to get home to walk her dog. My stomach churned when Cindy kissed Walker deeply goodbye, and headed out my front door. By the time she was gone, tears were forming pink streaks down my pale cheeks.
Walker turned to me, in shock. His desperate green eyes tried to search mine for any answers. His face was twisted into painful distress and seeing it made me want to hold him. I got angrier with those emotions and screamed out loud in frustration. When he tried to choke out an apology, I just held up my hand and told him, in the most even tone I could manage, “I frankly don’t give a shit what you have to say while that bitch’s scent is still on you. Go take a shower, give me a minute, and maybe I will be able to look at you.”
Sullenly, he let his gaze drop to his feet. “Yeah, okay.”
He walked up the stairs and turned on the shower right away. I heard his sighing and frustrated rants at how stupid he was as I made my way back into the kitchen.
I sulked over to the kitchen table, collapsing into a hardwood chair. Seeing Walker with Cindy made me see I actually wanted to be with him. My stomach was killing me, and tears were surging down my hot cheeks as sobs choked out of my burning throat.
I detested the way I was feeling. It was an utterly different type of broken heart than what I had grown accustomed to. A wave of rejection and shame crashed hard as I replayed the morning’s events in my head. The worst part of it all was how stupid I felt for being like this. The last time Walker and I spoke, I told him we were friends and roommates, and that was that. I had no claims over him whatsoever. It was not my place to say he couldn’t sleep with whomever he wanted.
With a shudder, I thought about what Walker had done the night before. Maybe he took Cindy out on a date, or just went to The Saloon and got sloshed. For some strange reason I wanted to know. I felt like if it had been the latter, I wouldn’t be as mad.
I jumped up when I felt a warm hand touch the small of my back. I looked up into Walker’s surly face and stared, unable to find any words to say to him. He knelt down beside me, resting his head on my thigh. With a big sigh, he breathed, “I am so sorry. I got drunk and she was there. I didn’t sleep with her.” I still couldn’t find words for him; I just sat still and silent, hoping he would elaborate.
After a few minutes of silence, Walker finally got up the nerve to continue. “Mitch and I went to have a few beers. One thing led to another, and shots got involved. Once I was good and plastered, she pounced, but when she got back here, I couldn’t go through with it. But I was too lit to kick her out and she was way too drunk to drive home, so I let her crash here.”
I sat up straight quick and jerky like rusty cogs on a wheel, breaking our eye contact, feeling braver that way. “Walker, we’re friends. I have no say in what or who you do, but don’t lie to me about it. I’m sorry I overreacted.”
I got up from the table, shuffling my feet over to finally pour myself coffee; hopefully the caffeine would take care of my throbbing head. I was hurt he would make up a story. I knew Walker better than he thought, and he never turned a girl down. I was relieved he hadn’t taken her out on a date, though; she was just a fuck buddy. For some reason, I felt like I would be more upset if he had had an emotional connection with the tramp.
I grabbed two mugs out of the cupboard, turned to Walker questioningly, and he nodded. I poured our cups full and turned to him. He walked over to the fridge and bent down to get the creamer. From the glow of the fridge lighting up his face, I could see tears streaks glistening down his cheek. His face was full of sorrow and anger, his jaw flexing and grinding aggressively. I couldn’t help but feel bad. I desperately wanted to know what his thoughts were and if they were as tangled and twisted as mine. He walked back over to the table and took a seat, trying to give me a failed half-smile. Seeing him this way forced longing to take over all of my emotions and rational thought.
He put his head in his hands and started to cry a little softer. “Mags, why the fuck would I lie to you?” The desperation in his voice made the words sink in, and I knew right then he hadn’t slept with her. I couldn’t help but be relieved.
Without thinking it through, I set our mugs down on the table, grabbed Walker’s shirt and pulled him up, I said softly, “I believe you,” and pulled him into as passionate of a kiss I could muster, grabbing both side of his face hard with my shaking hands.
It only took a second for Walker to register what was going on and pull me forcefully to him, one hand pressed up against my lower back, the other on the back of my neck. Walker effortlessly picked me up and brought me over to the couch. He lay down on top of me as I moaned into his mouth. My hands clutching onto his back and his hands tangled in my hair roughly; I could feel my heart rate rising, my skin hot with passion. I had turned off my brain, just allowing myself to savor the closeness of Walker and how fantastic a kisser he was.
When his tongue penetrated, barely a whisper against my own, I tasted the mixture of coffee and cream still lingering on his tongue. It was somehow erotic; a secret shared between us, only revealed when we made love with our mouths. I moaned against him and felt the vibrations of it run through his mouth and reverberate back to me in some sort of passionate sound wave.
Kissing and nibbling my bottom lip, his right hand travelled down my cheek, to my neck and then all the way to my hip bone. Grabbing onto me, firmly pressing his fingertips into the sensitive skin over my tattoo. I gasped and groaned into his mouth, arching my back and thrusting gently into him. Quickly, Walker flipped me on top of him and pushed me away, looking directly into my eyes. “Mags?” His breath caught as he stared panting, his bedroom eyes confused and lustfully longing.
I leaned down, kissing his neck and cheek softly. “Let’s just not think about it right now, okay?”
He grabbed my face with both hands, kissed me back, thrusting his hips up into mine, sent chills throughout my entire body. I let out a soft moan and let my hands travel up his white shirt, feeling his wonderfully defined stomach and chest. His body flexed and trembled at my touch as he pulled my shirt off over my head.
His own moan mixed with mine as I placed my hands on his hips and hoisted myself up his body, before finally wrapping my legs around his middle and rubbing my core against his growing erection.
Within moments, we were both completely exposed, panting and kissing. His warm lips travelled from my mouth to my jaw line, then to my neck and along my collarbone. I sighed with satisfaction at how wonderful it felt as he started to gently suck on my nipple, cupping my breath gently at the base with his warm hand. Walker looked up at me and smiled seductively as he pushed me off him, onto the other side of the couch and climbed back on top of me. He lightly ran his tongue over both of my breasts, sending goose bumps all over my skin.
