Zay rubbed at the back of his neck. “Fuck,” he said.
“Yeah.”
That was pretty much how I’d sum up the situation. Some government jackwad named Krogher had control of both Eli and Davy and a crew of magic-wielding people modified by Eli so that they were magic-holding drones that had kicked our Breaker asses.
“We know what Eli wanted,” Zay said quietly, “and we know he lured you into a trap. But our information said they wanted to use Breakers, to capture them, not to kill them.” He paused a second, staring at the wall like there was a window there.
“They were testing you. First the electrical barrier, then guns, fire, magic. They wanted to see what Breakers could do. They wanted to see what the modified magic users could do against you.”
Zayvion is a man who can hold his own in a fight, and he’s got that don’t-fuck-with-me presence that makes people avoid him in dark alleys. In light alleys too, come to think of it. But he is also a very smart man.
“We played into their hands,” I said. “Fuck. Me.”
“I’ll talk to Clyde,” he said, “call a meeting to get everyone up to speed. We’ll turn this to our advantage. We learned a hell of a lot about their strengths and weaknesses too. Plus, we made other . . . gains.”
He meant Brandy. Eli’s Soul Complement.
Zay stood, stretched like a big cat that had been cooped up in a cage too long. “I’ll be back later. You should get some sleep, okay?”
“Zay?” I said.
“Mmm?”
“He could have died. He almost died.”
He knew I was talking about Terric. Zay walked up to the side of my bed, paused, looked over at Terric, then back at me.
“He could have died,” Zay said. “But you wouldn’t let him, Shame. You’re Death magic. You have a lot of say over the matters of his soul.”
“Dessa died.” It came out hard, flat, angry.
“Terric’s your soul, Shame. Soul.” Zay was quiet a minute. “You’ll never lose him like that.”
I stared up at him, wondering if that was true. And in his eyes was absolute confidence in me. “I think you might overestimate my abilities, Z.”
He gave me half a grin. “I never have. But you, despite your big mouth, have always underestimated yourself.”
“Morning,” Dash said quietly from the doorway. “How are they today?”
“Awake,” Zay said. “At least Shame is.”
“Is he talking?” Dash asked with a lot of worry in his tone.
“Yes,” Zay said, giving me a look. “Mostly bullshit.”
“So, normal, is what you’re saying,” Dash said.
“Fuck you both,” I said as Zay left and Dash settled in to take a stint of watching over us.
It was nice to be loved.
Chapter 31
I walked down the street with two coffees in my hand. Sunglasses, beanie, fingerless gloves, and heavy coat. November had arrived with ice in the wind. Not that I felt it.
I hadn’t slept much in over a week since we’d fought Eli and Krogher’s blank-eyed, magic-wielding drones. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw Dessa. Every silence was filled with her voice.
She wasn’t haunting me. Not like Eleanor. But her absence was a shadow across my soul.
I’d fallen for her too hard to stand up again easily or quickly. She’d left me bruised on the inside. Touched me in places I didn’t even know I had. Places where only pain remained.
I walked up the stairs to Terric’s place. Rang the bell with my elbow. Waited.
Heard his footsteps. A little stronger than when I’d visited yesterday. And while the doctors were stunned with the rate of his recovery, I knew without magic to support him, he might not have made it through the surgery at all.
The door opened.
“Morning, Shame,” he said, stepping aside to let me in.
He was dressed, showered, his hair left to fall with the male-model perfection that he achieved with annoying ease. But the dark circles under his eyes against the sallow pale of his skin gave away his injuries.
I handed him his coffee as I walked in past him with this new morning ritual I’d fallen into. “Morning. Brought you coffee.”
I headed to the living room. Stopped on the threshold to it. There was a fist-sized hole in the wall by the fireplace.
“There’s a fist-sized hole in the wall by the fireplace,” I said.
He walked up behind me, sighed. “Jeremy stopped by last night.” He moved by me, over to the couch where he preferred to sit.
I worked on reminding myself why I hadn’t killed Jeremy yet.
“You still like him?” I asked, covering some of the anger with a gulp of coffee.
He pushed a couple books to one side so he could sit, and placed his coffee next to the lamp and the bottle of antibiotics and painkillers. Then he looked up at me. Gave me that stare that all of my friends seemed to use around me now. Like he was seeing a new person. Someone he wasn’t quite comfortable with.
“He’s funny,” Terric said carefully. “We have the same taste in movies. He’s good in bed.”
I just raised one eyebrow. “Don’t need the details.”
“No,” he said. “I don’t like him like that anymore. He came by last night to tell me he was in trouble again. That he had promised people I would do things for them. Life magic. I told him I wasn’t a currency he could bargain with. Things got heated.”
“Did he hurt you?” I asked calmly. “Did he touch you?”
Terric paused, gave me that cautious look again. “Sit down, Shame. You worry too much.”
I said nothing. Walked to the chair across from him, sat. “Did he?” I asked again.
“No. He yelled for a while, but then, so did I. He punched a hole in my wall.” He shrugged, took a drink of his coffee.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“You never liked him.”
“No, I didn’t. Still.” I took another drink of coffee. “Did you break it off with him?”
“No.”
“Do you want me to do it for you?”
He paused. “No. I can do it. Just . . .”
When he didn’t pick up that thought, I tried again. “Let me be there when you do.”
“Shame . . .”
“That’s all I’m asking.”
He exhaled. Looked as tired as I felt. “I think it’s a bad idea. But okay.” Then: “Did you drive over?”
I nodded.
“Do you want to take your car or mine?” he asked.
“We’re going to see him now?”
Eleanor stopped studying a photo on his wall, which was when I noticed all the art was removed and a few of Terric’s pictures were back in their place. She drifted closer to me.
He frowned. “No. Allie and Zay invited us over. In an hour. I told you yesterday. And the day before that when I got the invitation.”
I didn’t remember him talking about it. “I can drop you off, but I’m not—”
“You’re going.” He pushed up off the couch, something he did with a fair amount of grace to cover the fact
