ways. Nothing he did would have surprised her.

But some things were less likely than others. “You want me to believe that our laird refused one of his favored?”

“He did not think us a good match. He was adamant that you were not my mate.”

There was that word again, as if they were animals, but it didn’t matter what Caelis called it. Mate, wife or even beloved, none of the titles fit her place in his life. They never had, no matter how much she had once wished to believe otherwise.

“He did not think I was good enough for you.” She’d not understood why the laird had such antipathy toward some of his clan, but the fact could not be denied.

He’d believed Shona’s family beneath his notice and replacing her father as seneschal had only been one of many slights against them.

Caelis did not deny her interpretation of events.

She sighed. “And this is your grand explanation?”

Caelis jerked, his eyes widening and then going narrow as if her reaction surprised him. “I had no choice but to deny you.”

“You had a choice. You could have left the clan when we did.”

“The laird would never have given permission for me to leave.”

“And yet here you are.” Living among another clan but still wearing the colors of the MacLeod.

Perhaps the breach was not as great as she’d first thought. In truth, there might not be any breach at all, no matter what Caelis claimed.

The sense of despondency that gave her made no sense and she chose to ignore it.

“It is complicated.” And he was clearly reluctant to share the nature of that complication.

“You are welcome to spare me the details.”

Again it appeared as if she’d surprised him. “You used to be so curious.”

“The one thing I want to know about you, Caelis—the only thing that matters to me any longer—is if you are going to try to rob me of my son.”

“I will not.”

She wanted to believe him, for her own sake. Wanted to feel relief at the hard promise. Not only could she not trust his promises, however, she didn’t believe it could be that simple.

Caelis had already verbally claimed Eadan. To walk away now would be to impugn his warrior’s honor. He would not do that for her sake, or even their son’s. Of that, she had no doubts.

“Then you have no objection to us traveling on to Balmoral Island as soon as the Sinclair laird gives us his leave to do so?” She didn’t believe it, but she needed to push Caelis into revealing his plans.

“Why Balmoral Island?”

“I have family there.”

“I did not know that.”

She shrugged. Confidences that they had, or had not shared six years ago had no importance today.

“Who is it?”

“My great-grandmother came from the island. Her sister also married and had children. The last I had heard, some still lived from that generation as well as those of my own.”

“You do not know?”

“There has been no direct contact between the two branches of the family in many years, but I am certain my Balmoral kin will welcome my children and me into their clan.” At least, she hoped with great fervency.

Everything she had learned of her grandmother’s clan of origin pointed to a people who put great store by family and loyalty. A clan she could depend on to keep her and her children safe from a greedy Englishman’s desires.

“The Balmoral clan is a good one. I have spent the last year training with a special group of their soldiers.”

That at least explained what he was doing away from MacLeod lands. Though the fact her former laird had sent one of his soldiers to train under another did not meet with overweening arrogance she remembered.

“What are you doing here then?” She knew the Balmoral and Sinclairs were allies, and Caelis staying in the keep on his way southward made sense, but he was more of a long-term guest here.

That seemed clear enough.

“More training with the Sinclairs.”

Things must have changed a great deal since she left her clan behind. “I see.”

He waited for her next question with a patience she did not remember from their past.

“So your plans are to return to the MacLeod clan?” she asked with undisguised hope.

Caelis’s expression turned very serious. “Aye.”

“You will not take my son from me.”

“I told you, I have no intention of separating mother from child.”

“But?” She knew there was a caveat. Why did he have to pretend there was not?

“I cannot live among the Balmoral. I have obligations to my people. I have to return to the MacLeod.”

“What has that to do with me, or my children, for that matter?”

Our children,” he emphasized, finally revealing his true colors. “If I am not living among the Balmoral, naturally you and the children will not be, either.”

“I will not go back to that clan.” Her former laird had not been a good man, no matter what Caelis might think.

“Not immediately, no, but once I have discharged my duty, you and our children will join me.”

She laughed then, the sound bordering on hysterical. The man was completely daft. “You speak as if we have promises between us, plans to be together as a family. We have none.”

Her voice rose and the hysteria edged closer. She forced air in and out of her lungs as she pushed away the overwhelming sense of panic.

“We will have the future we dreamed of six years ago.” He dropped to his knees in front of her, his big hands engulfing her own. “I am no longer willing to live without my true mate for the sake of a corrupt alpha.”

“You are not making any sense, Caelis.”

“You belong to me. ’Tis simple as that.”

He could not truly believe that?

“Oh, no. It is not simple at all. I do not belong to you.” Though her heart called her a liar. “Mayhap I did all those years ago, but not now. Never again.”

“Never is a long time, lass.”

“And sometimes not long enough.” When it came to seeing Percival, new Baron of Heronshire, again, never would be too short.

She’d thought the same about Caelis, but the heart that had gone dormant when she left Scotland began to flutter again. True that flutter brought naught but pain now.

And yet a very tiny part of her was glad not to be so dead inside. She’d felt emotion for her children, but it was a different place in her heart that had been sleeping these past years.

A place that at one time had given her both her greatest joy and most devastating sorrow.

“I will change your mind.” He promised. “We are meant to be together.”

“I used to believe that.” She’d been certain to the very depths of her soul that she and this man had a glorious future together.

A love story to write with their hearts and their bodies so profound, their children’s grandchildren would tell it to their babes. Losing her faith in the future had hurt almost as much as losing him.

“Believe it again.”

“No.” She’d been hurt enough by this man and by her own dreams.

Neither would ever be given free rein in her heart again.

His impossibly blue gaze bored into hers. “Some things in life, we have no choice about.”

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