She backed toward the wall, fear mixed with disbelief making her stomach roil. When her shoulders encountered the hard ungiving barrier, she whimpered.
The wolf whined, tilting his head to one side as if trying to tell her she had nothing to worry about.
“Caelis?” she asked in a voice that trembled. And then immediately began to berate herself for doing so. “No, he is not a wolf. He cannot be. My eyes are deceiving me.”
The wolf stalked across the room, crowding close to her.
Her entire body shook with the terror and confusion gripping her. “No, stay away.”
The wolf stopped, letting out a short bark that sounded so much like Caelis when he was exasperated with her, she gasped.
“Caelis?” she asked again.
The wolf’s head nodded up and down.
“But how? This is not possible.” She knew it was not.
No matter how her eyes deceived her, men did not transform themselves into wolves.
A more practical woman than most, Shona did not believe in faeries, or magic, or any such. How could she accept the evidence of her eyes?
The wolf moved closer, sniffing the air, a happy-sounding rumble coming from his chest.
“Don’t…don’t come any closer.”
The wolf whined again, moving back and then forward again, as if it could not help itself.
“What?” she demanded. “What do you want?”
He took a step closer and she remembered how the stable master had told her to behave with the dogs on her dead husband’s estates.
Shona put her hand out, her arm trembling.
The wolf stretched forward, first sniffing at her hand and then licking it.
“Oh.” It was not so terrible, though it was strange to have a wild animal that could tear her apart with its claws and teeth so gently caressing her hand with its snout.
The beast came closer so that she was crowded against the wall and pressed its body to her.
She stared down at him. “I am not going anywhere. You do not need to sit on me.”
But the animal ignored her words, rubbing against her with its sides, nuzzling at her with its snout.
“You’re very affectionate, aren’t you?” she asked, not remembering the estate dogs being quite so friendly.
Then she remembered this wolf was supposed to be Caelis and she had another reason altogether to resent his nearness.
“Caelis, if that is indeed you in there, you must step back.”
He barked his denial and she had no doubts that was exactly what it had been, either, climbing her so his forepaws rested on her shoulders and he could rub her neck with his snout.
She giggled, the sound shocking her as much as the sensation of being tickled.
He licked her again, growling against her throat in a way that should have frightened her, but it did not.
One thing was certain, while she still feared Caelis the man because of his power to harm her and destroy her happiness, she did not fear his wolf.
At all.
“You are very sweet like this.”
The wolf chuffed, as if he found her sentiment immensely funny and she found herself smiling at him.
The light flashed and then Caelis the man was again there, naked and far too close. “Your smile is still as beautiful and bright as the sun.”
That very same smile slid from her face more rapidly than water going over the falls into her favorite loch.
A small scream escaped her throat, but she pressed her hand over her mouth to keep other sounds inside. She could not afford to alert her friends or her children to her distress.
Caelis had turned into a wolf. Might well do so again. While she’d never doubted her own security, others might not be safe around him. Especially Thomas.
She shoved him from her. “Get away.”
At first, he did not move, but she shoved again. Harder.
He stumbled back a step. “You are frightened of the wolf.”
“No. I don’t want your naked body so near,” she stated without apology.
He didn’t fight her, moving back quickly, his expression unreadable. But the intensity of his regard was unsettling.
She hugged herself. “You need to put your plaid back on.”
He laughed, the sound harsh, almost bitter, and he turned away. Not to get his clothing, but to drop to the floor.
He knelt there for several seconds, breathing deeply.
“Did it hurt you?” she asked in a halting voice. “Changing into a wolf?”
“Do not speak,” he rasped out.
She closed her mouth, once again not understanding.
“My control over my wolf is precarious,” he answered as if she had spoken aloud.
“Is it always like this after you shift between forms?” she asked and then regretted doing so when an animalistic sound came from his mouth. Did the wolf wish to return to his animal form?
Mayhap he did not like living as a man.
Caelis’s muscles corded with some great effort. “No. But I have not claimed my true mate in six years and she stands alluringly before me in a bedchamber. What do you think my wolf wants to do?”
He leapt to his feet, his naked body turning to face her all in one smooth movement.
There was ample evidence that he was indeed very aroused. Whether it was by her or by shifting, or would have happened with any woman in a similar circumstance, she could not know.
“You think I did not control myself six years ago?” he demanded, his expression stark, his tone feral.
“No,” she replied starkly and then added, “Had you, I would not have become pregnant.”
“And do you regret that?
“Of course not.” And how unfair of him to ask. Caelis had not been the one to live with the consequences of pregnancy outside of wedlock. “I love my children with my whole heart, but having our son the way I did came with great cost, not the least of which was the regard of my parents for the rest of their lives.”
“They were angry with you?”
“Do not jest. You know full well how furious they would have been. They were disappointed in me and disgusted by the shame I had brought on our family name. My mother called me a whore and never forgave me. My father, either, though he was less vocal in his criticisms.”
Horror washed over Caelis’s features, though whatever he was feeling had no apparent effect on his arousal. “They loved you so much.”
“And that made my betrayal of them that much greater.”
“You did not betray them.”
“I did. You know well a woman is to save her innocence for the marriage bed.”
“It doesn’t always happen.”
“Nay, but you were not there to make it right, were you? You and your laird had judged me and found me wanting as a mate for the beast, is that it?”
“Not me.”
“Just the laird, but you went along.”
“I did. To my own shame.”
“You do not know what shame is until you have had your husband treat you like a dockside whore on your wedding night.”
Caelis looked sick. “I am sorry.”
