never let loose like this before, and I couldn’t believe how good it felt to feel so free.
“This is so much fun!”
“See! I told you.” She grabbed my hand and twirled me around playfully. My eyes caught Tucker’s, and he still looked like he was dwelling on the asshole who had grabbed my ass. He also looked like he had drunk a few shots too many.
Sarah pressed her lips together in a thin line and cocked her head to the side when she saw my look of concern.
“He’s fine. The guys party like this all of the time. Stop worrying so damn much.”
I turned my back to her, pressing my bottom into her as we shimmied together. Tucker leaned back against the drink table, taking small sips of his drink, his eyes locked onto mine. Derek made his way through the crowd, bobbing his head to the music.
“You always knew how to move, Sarah.” He shook his hair from his face. Sarah’s body slowed behind me, and I heard her suck in a deep breath. “Can I cut in?”
I glanced over his shoulder to Tucker who slammed his cup down on the table and stood. The last time I had seen that look on his face, he was face-to-face with Jax.
“I’m gonna grab a drink.” I glanced over my shoulder, looking for confirmation from Sarah that she was okay. She nodded slightly, and I slipped by Derek and made my way to Tucker.
“What was that about?” he asked before I could reach him.
“He wanted to dance with Sarah,” I replied, irritated at what seemed like jealousy. Her name got the attention of Eric who spun to look at me before his eyes searched the dance floor. My stomach churned as he located her with her ex.
“I’m sorry, E.” I let my shoulders sag as I gave him an apologetic glance.
“Why are you sorry?” He shrugged and drank the contents of his cup before crushing it in his fist. “She ain’t shit to me.” He flung the cup on the ground and slipped through the crowd of bodies.
“That really sucks.” I turned my attention back to Tucker who didn’t seem to register any of the conversation with Eric. “What is up with you?”
He took a deep breath as his eyes went unfocused.
“I feel like I can’t protect you with this lifestyle. Every guy I see near you I think is another Jax. This shit was a mistake.” He shook his head as he looked down at his sneakers. I knew he was just drunk and was overreacting, but so was I, and his words sliced through me. My chest felt like it had tightened, and I couldn’t breathe.
“A mistake?” I could barely choke out the words. I couldn’t believe he regretted being here with me. I pushed by him and rounded the table, needing to escape before my tears that threatened to fall spilled over. Everything had gone from great to shit in seconds. It didn’t dawn on me until I reached the darkened parking lot— illuminated by a few sporadic street-lights—that I didn’t have a place to call my own. Where was I even running to? I sighed heavily as I kicked at the loose gravel. It was time to be a grown-up and face my problems. I owed it to Tucker to hash this out and not just disappear.
“Hey,” Tucker called from behind me. I spun around to face him as the door to the back entrance slammed closed. He shoved his hands into jean pockets as he slowly walked toward me. “I know you’re pissed off at me for wanting to take care of you.”
“What? You think that’s why I’m mad? Tucker, you said this was a mistake. You called us a mistake.” My voice wavered as a tear rolled down over my cheek.
“Jesus, Cass. I didn’t mean us.” He closed the space between us with two large strides, wrapping one arm behind my back and gripping the back of my head with his other hand. I squeezed my eyes closed, breathing in a deep lung full of his scent. “I could never regret this. You are
“Then why did you say it?” I asked, looking up to him as I searched for the truth in his eyes.
“I meant coming on this tour. I should have just quit the fucking band like I had planned.” His grip tightened around me.
“What do you mean you planned to leave the band?”
“I told the guys before I left to find you that if you didn’t want to leave, I was going to stay with you. Even if you didn’t want me. I was going to wait for you.”
“Tucker. This band is your life.”
“Not anymore.” His mouth pressed against mine softly, and all of my anger and sadness evaporated with his touch. “I love you, Cass.”
“I love you, too, Tucker.”
“That’s all I need, sweetheart.”
“I think we should lay off on the drinking for the rest of the night,” I joked, and he wrapped his arm over my shoulders and guided me toward the bus.
“I think you should have suggested that a half an hour ago.” He laughed as he stumbled over his own feet. I placed my hand on his stomach to keep him steady.
As we approached the bus we heard a loud bang and what sounded like a growl. Our eyes met as we both looked at each other with confusion.
“What was that?” My feet froze to the ground.
“Wait here. I’ll check it out.” He waited for me to nod that I understood and wouldn’t move. I bounced on my feet nervously as he walked away.
“Tucker!” I whispered loudly from behind him. He turned to look at me, his eyebrows pulled together. “Shouldn’t we just get one of the guards or something?”
Another loud noise came from inside, and it sounded like a wounded animal.
“Fuck.” Tucker ran his hand over his hair from back to front as he blew out a dramatic breath. “It’s E.”
“What is wrong with him?” My drunken memories grew clearer, and I remembered the hurt in Eric’s eyes as he saw Sarah dancing with Derek. “Great. This is my fault.” I threw my hands in the air and walked around Tucker.
“Where do you think you’re going?” he asked as he jogged to my side and gripped my elbow to stop me.
“I’m the one who upset him, now I’m going to fix it.”
“This isn’t your fault, Cass. This was Sarah. I told you how she was.”
“She didn’t do anything wrong. She just danced with a boy.” I crossed my arms over my chest as I became defensive of my friend. “I’m the one who drew attention to it.”
“Sarah and Eric were fuckups long before you came around. That ain’t changing anytime soon.”
“So what’s the plan?” I asked, glancing to the bus.
“I’m going to go in and see if I can’t get him to take his meds. You can wait by the door.” He pressed a kiss into my hair and opened the door to the bus. I took a deep breath and stepped inside.
“Leave me the fuck alone!” Eric was sitting on Tucker’s bunk with his legs on the floor. He was rocking with his hands holding his head.
“Cass, what are you doing in here?” Tucker turned to me. I held up my hands and shrugged. I should have stayed where he asked, but I wanted to help.
“Just fucking go!” Eric yelled, his voice strained. This was not the normal reaction to a broken heart.
“Calm down. We just want to talk to you.” Tucker’s tone was anything but sympathetic, and the last thing we needed was Eric turning his anger on him.
“Take your fairy tale happily ever after shit and get the fuck out of my face.” Eric’s eyes looked vacant.
“So what? No one can be happy if you’re not?” Tucker yelled back, his arms spread out like he was inviting a fight.
“I don’t think yelling at him is going to help anything,” I yelled, and both guys looked at me, surprised by my outburst. “Give me a minute?”
Tucker looked from me to Eric, unsure if he wanted to leave me alone with him while he was upset. Judging by the broken stereo at Eric’s feet, he had already gotten out most of his aggression.
“Five minutes and if I hear any yelling, I am coming in here and kicking his ass.”
Eric snorted at the threat, and Tucker narrowed his eyes, not finding any of this amusing.
“Thank you.” I gave Tucker a quick kiss on the cheek and waited for him to leave the bus. Eric stared at the broken and mangled plastic on the floor.
