his lips on my neck, studying was the farthest thing from my mind.
“I’ll let you talk dirty to me in Spanish if that counts as studying.”
I sighed, wanting to give in. Wanting to seriously give in. But there was one big thing that I couldn’t give into and I wasn’t sure if I ever would be able to again. Would sex be different after cancer surgery? I wondered if I would feel different. If he would even want me after we tried it.
“John, I-I-I really need to study. You wouldn’t want me to be distracted and fail all my classes and get kicked out of school.”
He pulled back and sat next to me, wide-eyed like a scorned puppy. “Do you really want me to stop?”
I bit my bottom lip, trying to hide my smile. No, I didn’t want him to stop, but one of us had to. I wanted him, oh how badly I wanted him. But there were bigger things that I had to deal with than sex. Like school. And cancer. “You’re just a little bit of a distraction.”
“But I’m a damn good one.” A slight smile returned to his lips as he leaned forward.
I sighed. “If I want to stay in school I actually need to pass my classes and I haven’t been keeping up with anything lately.”
“You’re smart, Red. You probably can do these finals with your eyes closed and never need to study.”
“I wish.”
That might have been true, back when I was going to all of my classes. Between doctor’s appointments and taking breaks to hang out with John, classes had become secondary. I knew that I could get a lot of the power points online, but I also knew that a lot of professors based their grades on attendance. Something I was seriously slacking in.
He sank back on the couch and picked up his computer, putting it on his lap. “Fine. I’ll let you be.”
I picked my book back up. “Sorry, John. I’m not trying to be a bitch. Finals will be over soon and then you can have me all to yourself.”
“Until your sister gets here at least.”
Valerie was coming in the following Friday after finals to pick me up for Christmas break. She also heard about my fake ID and told me that I needed to take her out to the bars so she could act like a college kid again for one night.
“You don’t have to stay here. You can go home at any time.”
John only had one final and it was our history one which was on Monday. The rest of his finals were projects, but he was still staying around to hang out with me.
“Yeah about that...”
I didn’t even need to look up to know that he was rubbing the back of his neck. His nervous twitch. I set my book down and gave him my full attention. “About what?”
“Well...I guess Gabe is wanting to close the house early, so I need a place to stay.”
I blinked. “And...?”
He blew out a big breath. “Okay, fine. Can I stay here while the house is closed up?”
“Here? With me?” I swallowed hard. He had been staying at my place most nights and it was amazing to fall asleep in his arms, but to make it official kind of scared me. It meant we were moving up in our relationship.
“Trey and Monica are leaving on Wednesday, but I guess I could stay there if you don’t want me around.” His eyes took on a sadness I hadn’t seen before.
I leaned over, putting my fingers under his chin and forcing his eyes to mine. “I didn’t mean it like that. If you want to stay here, you can. Valerie might just try to kick you out when she’s here.”
He laughed. “I’m sure we can get her some earplugs if need be.”
Finals on a Saturday morning were murder. John didn’t technically have to be out of the house until the following Wednesday, but somehow he and all of his stuff migrated over to my apartment.
I tried not to wake him as I crept out of bed and into the bathroom. A shower and a hot cup of coffee would hopefully help me wake up enough for my damn Spanish final. I closed the door to the bathroom and stripped off my clothes. At first I tried to look cute for bed when John spent the night. I wore newer pajamas that showed some skin, but after about the second night I got sick of that and went back to wearing my old t-shirts from high school and plaid pajama pants.
I kicked my clothes to the side and turned on the water, waiting for it to spray a steady stream before I stepped in and let the hot water fall over me. Just the wake up I needed. I pulled my face wash from the rack and scrubbed my face. Just as I was about to rinse it off, I heard the shower curtain open.
“Mornin’ Red.”
John’s foot squeaked as he stepped into the shower and then I felt the warm ripples of his chest against my back.
“John!” I screeched, rinsing the soap out of my eyes and covered myself at the same time. It was the first time he had seen me naked and I didn’t envision it being while I hadn’t shaved my lady bits in awhile or been to the gym.
I sucked in a deep breath and scrubbed the last remaining soap out of my eyes and turned toward him. There wasn’t much room in the tiny shower, but I could see exactly where his eyes roamed. I guess he cared more about my chest than the parts that weren’t shaved. My nipples betrayed me and hardened the minute they met the cold air.
“I thought we could save some water and shower together.” He grinned and took a step closer, covering my nipples with his warm hands. His hardness pressed against my belly button. I was glad that my bleeding had stopped or that could have been really embarrassing.
He took my hands, moving them to the side, his eyes roaming down to my chest. “Don’t hide that beautiful body of yours.”
“My body is not that great.” But his was. The water dripped down his rock hard body and I wanted to lick every droplet off of it.
He cupped my breasts in his hands and leaned over, his lips grazing my nipple before he nibbled them lightly. I moaned in response, arching my body towards his. He put his chin between my breasts, his fingers replacing his lips and rubbing against my nipples in a slow, circular motion. “You have the hottest body I’ve ever seen.”
“You do.” I gasped and reached for his flawless ass, digging my nails into it for fear I’d fall over if I didn’t have something to hold onto. I wanted him so bad. My body ached for him. Stupid cancer surgery recovery time.
“I like that, Red.” He kissed a trail up from my chest to my lips. The water cascaded over us, stimulating my nipples as John kept his fingers on them. His kisses were feverish, his tongue dancing behind my lips.
I broke the kiss slightly and whispered into his lips, “Do you like this?” My fingers trailed from his butt to his abs. I grazed his muscles before letting my fingers stop right at his length, grabbing it with both hands and stroking it gently.
He let out a hissed breath. “I like that even more.”
I would have rather had him between my legs. I ached for him so much. It was getting harder and harder not to go all the way. But this would have to do. At least for another week.
I tightened my grip on him, his hips bucking forward in response, while I traced small circles over his tip.
“Damn, baby,” he whispered, before crushing his lips back to mine. I moved my tongue in the same rhythm as my fingers and he moaned into my mouth.
I moved quicker, eager to get him to release. For me. For both of us. I wanted to know that I was the one to do that to him. The only one he wanted.
He broke the kiss. “I’m going to come.”
“Good.” I moved faster and his body stiffened before he shuddered and released all over my hand, the water washing it away as quickly as it came.
He let out a ragged breath and pressed his forehead to mine. The water droplets fell down his face and onto his oh-so-kissable lips. “I wasn’t expecting anything.”
I gently kissed the water droplets from his lips. “I wanted to.”
“Now let me do something for you.”
