wrapped her five itty bitty little fingers around my pinky. She already had me wrapped. Softly kissing her hand I said, “Daddy loves you more than the moon and the stars. You’re safe babygirl.”
Larkin was at my side. He sat his hand on Londyn’s tiny body. “She’s perfect man.”
Looking up I couldn’t help but smile. “Just like her mom.”
“Would you like to meet our daughter?” I asked Cobie. The doctor was finally done cleaning her up and was saying his congratulations.
Cobie looked tired but her smile never faltered. “More than anything.”
Gently, I placed Londyn in Cobie’s arms and took a step back. Cobie looked complete. Seeing her holding hold our daughter made me love her more. It made me realize I wanted us to be a real family. I love Co. I don’t want her to ever doubt that and I don’t want her to think when things get tough I’m going to run.
I needed to talk to Larkin. I wasn’t asking for his approval but I wanted him to know what I was planning. I already knew what sorta wedding Cobie would want. We had talked about that one night, what kinda wedding she would have had if given the chance. I wanted to give her that chance.
Cobie would already leave this earth without living her dream of becoming a doctor. I wasn’t going to let her leave without having her dream wedding.
Taking a seat in the rocking chair by the window I rested my head on my fist. I was exhausted. I wanted to sleep but I wanted to watch Cobie with our daughter.
“She’s beautiful, Gage. I can’t believe you’re a dad.” Jenna scooted her chair up to mine. Not looking at me but at Cobie and Londyn she said, “I’m proud of you. We’re growing up. We have families. I know this isn’t how you pictured our futures but we are both happy. Right?” When she asked she turned to look at me.
Studying Jenna I took a minute to think.
Looking from Jenna to my daughter I smiled. “I’m as happy as I’m ever going to be. She makes me happy. She makes this ride a little easier. I don’t know how I’m going to do it once Co is gone but I will manage. It’s what I do. It’s what I have to do.”
Jenna placed one arm around my shoulders. “You’re a strong man and you have all the support in the world. You will…we will get through this. But right now, we won’t think about the future. We will focus on now. Focus on your new beautiful and healthy little girl who is the center of your world.” I forced myself to look away from my daughter and to look at Jenna. “The look on your face when you look at Londyn is a look of complete and total love, wonder, and awe.”
I wasn’t sure what to say. Londyn is the center of my world. And now, so is Cobie.
Cobie
I was a mommy. I was holding my daughter. This was real. She was real. I was surrounded by family and friends and welcomed my baby into this world. I did it. Now I had to make every day the best as I could.
“I’m so proud of you, sweetheart.” My mom ran her hand through my hair. “I can’t believe how much she looks just like you.”
Looking over my daughter I saw so much of both Gage and I. “She is the most beautiful little girl I have ever seen.” Laying my head back I rolled it on my shoulders to look at my mom and asked, “How do I do this? How do I pretend everything is normal? It’s not. I’m going to…to die. I feel so damn guilty leaving all this on Gage. This isn’t his fault mom. He doesn’t deserve to be put through this.”
Smiling sweetly to hide her pain and tears, my mom glanced back at Gage who was talking softly to Jenna before she said, “Sweetie, he’s tough. He loves you. You have a new baby, a bond that can’t be broken. Gage is going to love you and that little girl always. Even if you’re here,” my mom’s voice softened as she said, “Or when you’re gone.”
There was a knock on the door before my nurse poked her head in. “I wanted to check your pain and make sure everything was ok.”
Looking at my sleeping newborn I replied, “We’re perfect.”
“Ok, well if you need me just use the call button. If not I will be back in an hour or so to check in.”
“Thank you,” I said as she shut the door.
Larkin bent over and kissed the top of my head. “Not how I expected to see my baby sister but shit she’s cute. If you’re up to it the waiting room has been taken over by the Tucker and Nayler posse who all are waiting to meet Miss Princess.”
Looking around the room everyone looked tired but I didn’t want to turn people away from meeting my pride and joy. “Of course not. Tell them Londyn is happy to meet everybody.”
Larkin left to gather everyone from the waiting room. Gage was still off to the side talking to Jenna, who had a huge smile on her face. If I didn’t know any better I would think they were a gorgeous couple. Jenna was looking at Gage and listening closely to what he was saying.
“Knock knock baby mama,” Sadie said as she came through the door. “Let me see that baby.”
“Shit, hide the baby. This crazy lady doesn’t need anymore.” Jinx joked as he walked in behind Sadie.
Sadie stuck her tongue out at Jinx as she came up beside my bed. “Little late for that,” Sadie said nonchalantly.
“Huh?” Jenna and I asked at the same time.
Tyler laughed. “Yep, baby Hampton number four is on its way due in September.”
“Damn you two. Do you ever not have sex?” Jinx asked, faking disgust.
“So how many kids do y’all need before you get married?” Larkin asked.
Sadie shrugged. “I don’t want to be fat when we get married. We kept saying after each baby that we would get married but super sperm over here keeps knocking me up. I put my foot down this time. After I threw that damn stick with the two pink lines in his face I told him no more. Four kids was enough. Hell Frannie isn’t even three yet. We will have four kids under four. It’s time he wraps before he taps.”
The entire room busted into laughter. It must have startled Londyn because she started squirming and whimpering.
“Shh. It’s ok baby. Mommy’s got you. Are you getting hungry?” I cooed at my daughter.
Gage jumped from the rocking chair and was at my side. “Is she ok? Do I need to get the nurse?”
Laughing lightly I said, “Everything is ok. I think she’s just hungry. I’m going to try to feed her and maybe we can attempt sleep?”
“Well, I can’t help with the feeding. God didn’t give me boobies. Do you want me to ask everyone to leave? I can tell them they are welcome to come back this afternoon.”
“I think that sounds good. I just don’t want to upset anyone.”
“Co, they will understand. Don’t worry. Just feed our baby and I will take care of everything else.”
After everyone left Gage pulled the rocking chair up to the side of my bed. He sat there watching Londyn and I as she ate. I could tell something was bothering him and he was too afraid to say anything.
“Just say it.” I blurted out.
Gage’s eyes widened slightly. He scrubbed his face with both hands and let out the breath he had been holding. “I don’t want to talk about the future but at some point we are going to have to.”
Sighing I said, “I know. I was looking forward to this day but deep down I was dreading it. I knew once she was here it would be the beginning of the end. Neither of us want to or are prepared to deal with this but this is our life. We have to, not for us but for Londyn.”
Gage bounced his eyes from Londyn to me. “This isn’t fair. I thought I was ok with what our future held but now that it’s happening I’m realizing I’m not. I want Londyn to have her mom and I want you to be by my side helping me raise our daughter. I love you, Cobie. I want us to be a family. I want to give you your dream wedding. I don’t have a ring,” he paused and got down on one knee. My tears stinging my eyes. “But, this is me asking you to marry me.”
“I won’t let you do that. You have sacrificed so much already. When you get married Gage, I want it to be to the girl who stole your heart and be the girl you are so in love with all you see is her. She is out there, waiting. She will accept your past and see all the amazing qualities you have.” I spoke through my tears, forcing myself to agree with what I just said.
