“Cobie, you stole my heart. The moment you told me you were having my baby I was yours. I would do anything to make all your dreams come true. You accepted who I was and you opened your heart and life to me. You could have lied or hid from the fact that I am Londyn’s daddy but you trusted me despite the way I acted. I want to marry you Cobie.” Gage raised himself back into the chair. His voice was soft, his eye pleading.
I blinked back my tears and moved my eyes from Gage’s handsome face to our daughters beautiful face. Looking at her for a long time I didn’t say anything.
“Ok.” I said simply. Then trying to get the mood shifted to something lighter I joked, “You’re the one telling Larkin.”
Gage hopped from the rocking chair and kissed my temple. “Deal.”
12
Gage
“Larkin, where you at?”
I walked into his moms house. Cobie was home and resting with Londyn. Now was my chance to talk to Larkin and hopefully he wouldn’t knock my head off.
“Why are you here? Shouldn’t you be at your house helping my sister?” Larkin came walking down the hallway, hands on his hips.
“They’re sleeping. I wanted to talk to you about something.”
“Let’s go downstairs. Jenna just got the twins asleep. She would kills us both if we wake them up.”
I followed Larkin down to the finished basement and sat on the couch. He sat across from me in the chair.
“Ok, so what is going on?”
I looked Larkin in the eyes and I said, “Cobie and I have decided to get married.”
I watched as Larkin turned to stone. “Why? Why would you want to do that?”
“I love her.”
“You love her?”
I nodded. “I do. I want her to have her dream wedding. She has told me every detail she has had planned since she was little. I can give her that. We would be a true family.”
“You’re marrying my baby sister to make her dream come true?”
“No, Larkin. I’m marrying her because I love her. Her dream coming true is just an added bonus.”
I could see the wheels in his head turning. “I never pictured you marrying my baby sister but if it makes her happy, then I’m happy. I approve.”
“I wasn’t looking for approval, Larkin but thank you. She never dreamed of having some huge wedding, just close friends and family so I was hoping we could have the wedding in a few weeks. I’m going to need your help.”
Larkin smiled. “Anything for my sister.”
On February fourteenth, I married the woman I loved, the mother of my child, the girl that had became my best friend.
Cobie wore her mothers wedding dress like she has always dreamed. I had never seen her look more beautiful. She didn’t want a bouquet, she instead carried our daughter in her arms down the aisle. Larkin gave her away, smiling the entire time.
We laughed. We cried. We danced.
She smashed cake is face and you better believe I smashed cake in hers. Larkin wanted his sisters wedding to be special. He wanted to dance with Cobie in place of their dad. He picked the song, There You’ll Be by Faith Hill, and surprised a tearful Cobie. Our song held so much meaning. It was the song that was playing the day we found out Londyn was a girl, the day we found out Cobie had cancer and the song that was playing when we brought Londyn home from the hospital, as a family. Cowboys and Angels. She was my Angel.
I was happy. For one day, I didn’t worry about how much time we had left together. I didn’t let cancer invade my thoughts. With just family and close friends around us everything felt intimate. It felt special. It felt right.
Cobie
Holding Londyn in my arms I couldn’t help the thoughts that were clouding my head. I was getting tired. A week after I became Mrs. Tucker things changed. I woke up one morning and couldn’t move my legs. Gage took me to the hospital and after numerous scans and tests we were told the cancer had taken my ability to walk. I was in a wheel chair. I knew my time was with my family was ending. I’m not stupid. I could feel it.
It was late and Gage was asleep on the couch. Londyn had just finished taking her bottle and was fading into sleep. I rocked her in my arms a few minutes before laying her in her bassinet.
I wanted Londyn to know how much I loved her and that I would always be with her. Gage had promised me that he would always tell her but I wanted her to have something from me that she could confirm for herself. Rolling down the hall to Gage’s office I shut the door and flipped the light on.
Grabbing a notebook from the bookshelf I started writing. I wrote letter after letter, stacking them up in a pile beside me. I wasn’t sure what I was going to write but once the pen hit the paper it just flowed. I wrote a letter for everything I could think of. The first letter I wrote was just me telling her how my I loved her. There was one for every birthday until she was eighteen, one for each of her first days of school, one for her first crush, one for her first boyfriend, one for her first kiss, one for her senior prom, one for graduation, one for her first day of college, one for her wedding, and one for the birth of her first child.
As I was putting the letters into envelopes I heard Londyn starting to cry. Setting everything down, I wheeled myself back to the living room. Gage was standing in front of the picture window patting her little back and hushing her.
“Shh babygirl. Let mommy sleep. Daddy’s here.”
This is what I would miss. This is what hurts the most. I wouldn’t be here to comfort my daughter or wipe away her tears. I felt guilty leaving all this on Gage. He didn’t sign up for this. He had experienced so much hurt already and here I was, causing more.
Gage turned around just as I swiped my tears away. He kissed Londyn’s head then said, “Look baby, mommy is here. Maybe you two could lay down together. Daddy has a few things he needs to get done.”
“Gage it is four in morning. What could you possibly need to do right now?”
“There is a few emails I have been pushing back but I really need to answer them. Besides, someone let me nap and now I am wide awake.”
Bowing my head I said, “Sorry. You just looked so comfortable. I couldn’t wake you.”
“Well now I’m sending you and our daughter to bed so I can get a little work done and maybe workout for an hour or so. Come on, let’s get you two tucked in.”
Gage left his spot by the window and handed me Londyn. She was already back asleep. Once Gage got Londyn and me in our bed he turned the T.V. on and kissed me.
“I love you Cobie, so much.”
“I love you, too.”
“Sleep good baby. I will come check on things in a little bit.”
Gage kissed me one last time then walked out the door, closing it halfway. I snuggled Londyn into my side. I covered her head in kisses before shutting my eyes. I whispered, “I love you,” to Londyn before finding sleep.
Gage
What was this? I picked up the stack of sealed envelopes and thumbed through them. Letters. They were letters to Londyn from Cobie. There was one for everything. Sitting down I contemplated opening and reading them. But, that felt like some sort of evasion on privacy. Setting the stack back on my desk I saw there was one letter that hadn’t found its way into an envelope. I couldn’t help myself. I picked it up and read it.
Londyn Hope,
