I died frustrated and dissatisfied.'
'Only your micro self was frustrated and dissatisfied,' Lea said, 'and only your micro desires and goals remained unfulfilled. In other words, the negative seeds you have sown have always produced a crop of frustration and misery, but the positive seeds have always produced happy, satisfying experiences.'
'But in these last two lives I was killed trying to protect others,' I protested.
'No,' Lea replied, 'your frustration was caused by your micro resistance. You felt that what was happening to your people was unjust, and bad. You did not accept it as a growth experience, perfect for its time and space, carefully selected by every soul who experienced it.'
'Are you saying that I should have welcomed the destruction of my people in those lives?' I asked.
'Only,' Lea replied, 'if you had Macro awareness could you have accepted micro cruelty, lust, and greed with understanding and loving acceptance.'
'But if you are a decent person, you must fight injustice,' I insisted.
'If you have a micro perspective,' Lea answered, 'then you will perceive injustice and have to struggle against it. But there is no injustice from a Macro view, for we can only experience that which we have created. So what were you resisting and fighting against?'
'My own learning experiences, I guess,' was my reply.
'That's right.' She nodded and smiled at me. 'From the Macro view of cosmic oneness we can clearly see that all resistance is exerted against ourselves. We can see that we must reap the consequences of all our thoughts and actions-both positive and negative. It's only with the micro view that you can perceive any injustice or any enemy other than yourself.'
'I guess it must take many lifetimes to learn to accept that,' I commented.
'Yes, it's difficult for man,' she replied, 'but we have as many lifetimes as we need in which to learn it. Contrary to micro religion, there is no eternal infinite hell to punish temporary infinite mistakes. That would, indeed, be hellishly unjust.'
'It seems to me,' I said, 'that as long as I can avoid other micro beings, I have no problems.'
'Other than boredom,' Lea answered. 'But you don't learn very quickly by avoiding others just so you don't see your own shortcomings.'
'What do you mean?' I asked.
'I mean,' she answered, 'that you feel uncomfortable and dissatisfied with others only to the extent that you don't feel adequate to deal with them-that is, only when you feel they are a threat to you. For instance, if in your past two lives you had been able to either drive your enemies away or help your people escape them, you would have been pleased with yourself. But this micro pleasure would only have postponed the time when you inevitably must learn your lessons and evolve.'
'So if I hadn't experienced it in that life I would still have had it waiting for me in my next incarnation,' I said.
'In this life, Jon, you hate to see people mistreated and you don't like people who hurt others. As you evolve, you will realize that what people fear and hate most in others is only their own negative past. You, for example, treated slaves and other people cruelly in your past lives-now in this life you can't stand these traits in others,' Lea explained.
'So you are saying,' I interpreted, 'that we feel uncomfortable with others and fear or hate them only to the extent that we see our own past selves in them.'
Lea kissed me and said, 'You're learning so fast, Jon.'
'Ahh,' I murmured, 'if you were using the Macro perspective, you would be happy even if I was the slowest learner in the world.'
Lea broke into joyous peals of laughter and finally said, 'You're right, Jon. I can maintain the Macro perspective for only the briefest moments. But I can remember these moments, and that keeps me from getting caught for very long in micro viewpoints which might overwhelm me with misery and unhappiness.'
'Then one difference,' I said, 'between micro man and Macro man is the degree of retro cognition or memory of his past.'
'Exactly,' Lea responded. 'We live lives of fear, frustration, and inadequacy only to the extent that we have forgotten our past. This self-induced amnesia is always the result of our desperate attempts to delay re-taking classes-learning opportunities-that we failed in the past.'
'Then the solution is to remember everything,' I said.
'And when we do remember everything, including the illusory nature of our separateness,' Lea said, 'then we have total Macro awareness.'
'Then according to Macro philosophy, all learning is simply remembering,' I postulated.
'That's true,' Lea replied, 'but only from the Macro perspective-certainly not from any micro view. You've remembered a lot today, though. Now it's time for you to return to your Alpha.'
'When will I see you?' I asked.
She smiled and the lights danced in her eyes as she said, 'When we are ready again, we'll see each other again.'
I was able to accept that answer better this time. I left Lea at the C.I. center and walked back to my Alpha. I thought briefly of using the subway, but the early evening was so lovely that I decided to walk. Besides, it would give me an opportunity to think over some of my recent experiences.
When I got back to our Alpha the rest of the members were just finishing dinner, so I had missed the Macro dance and the swim. They greeted me warmly but there was no prying or questioning about my experiences. I quickly selected my meal, and enjoyed listening to the rest of my Alpha talking about visiting Micro Island. I soon discovered that they all planned to eventually volunteer for service on the island. Their discussion centered on what could be learned and at what triad or awareness level it could be learned best.
I told them about my seven life reviews and how I had recognized some of them in my last lifetime as the children I was trying to teach. They remembered that one, as well as many more in which they said we had known each other but which I had not yet remembered. I was fascinated listening to them talk about some of these lives and how they had developed the Macro power of retrocognition to the point where they could see the accumulating learning patterns and their slow but steady evolution in awareness.
I was reminded of the Macro learning curve which went up and down and up and down like a wave, with each up a little cumulatively higher than the last up and each down a little higher than the last down [see C.I. Data Excerpts]. Micro man with his limited temporal perspective can not see this cumulative effect and is, thus, often discouraged and overwhelmed with apparent futility and hopelessness at the -many failures and frustrations in his life.
My Alpha had stayed at our table to keep me company while I ate, but now they went off to their various P.E. tutors.
I'm going to interject here the fact that after every meal we rinsed our mouths with a special water-like solution that not only cleaned our teeth but also made tooth decay impossible. There were no dentists in the Macro society just as there were no medical doctors. To me the liberation from the discomforts of a frequently sick and steadily decaying body was one of the greatest achievements of the Macro society. The thought that no one died until they chose to was phenomenal.
After the others had left, Carol told me that we would not be seeing Rana this evening but another' tutor, Victor. As we made our way to the eleventh-floor tutoring rooms; Carol explained that she saw Rana only about once every three or four evenings. The rest of the Personal Evolution time was spent with Victor or occasionally other Macro counselors whom – she had never seen before and rarely saw again.
I was unprepared for the huge stature of Victor. He was the tallest person that I had yet seen in 2150. At a little over seven feet two inches and weighing almost 300 pounds, Victor was an impressive-looking man. Deep healing tones of green dominated his tunic. He was magnificently proportioned, having the physical beauty of all Macro society members.
When I asked his age I learned that he had 71 years, but he looked no more than 30.
During the first half of our meeting Carol and Victor talked about the problems that Carol was experiencing in attaining Macro contacts. As they talked I was impressed with the qualities of patience, humor, and kindness that this mighty giant radiated. I could see why he would be a successful Macro counselor, for it was easy to talk with him. He always seemed to know the right words or action to stimulate your mind to further activity in discovering
