A Civil Campaign

uniforms he'd worn most of his life, Miles deduced he was on his way out soon, doubtless to one of the many official meals the Viceroy and Vicereine seemed obliged to munch their way through before Gregor's wedding. Miles was reminded of the intimidating list of engagements that Lady Alys had handed him, coming up soon. But whether he dared try to mitigate their social and culinary rigors by having Ekaterin accompany him was now a very dubious question.

Miles flung himself onto the sofa opposite his father; the Count looked up and regarded him with cautious interest.

'Hello. You look a trifle wrung.'

'Yes. I've just come from one of the more difficult interviews of my Auditorial career.' Miles rubbed the back of his neck, still achingly tense. The Count lifted politely inquiring eyebrows. Miles continued, 'I asked Gregor to straighten out Nikki Vorsoisson on this slander mess to the limit he judged wise. He set the limit a lot further out than Ekaterin or I would have.'

The Count sat back, and laid his reader aside. 'Do you feel he compromised security?'

'No, actually,' Miles admitted. 'Any enemy snatching Nikki for questioning would already know more than he does. They could empty him out in ten minutes on fast-penta, and no harm done. Maybe they'd even bring him back. Or not . . . He's no more a security risk than before. And no more nor less at risk, as a lever on Ekaterin.' Or on me . 'The real conspiracy was very closely held even among the principals. That's not the problem.'

'And the problem is—?'

Miles leaned his elbows on his knees, and stared at his dim distorted reflections in the toes of his half-boots. 'I thought, because of Crown Prince Serg, Gregor would know how—or whether—someone ought to be apprised that his da was a criminal. If you can call Prince Serg that, for his secret vices.'

'I can,' breathed the Count. 'Criminal, and halfway to raving mad, by the time of his death.' Then-Admiral Vorkosigan had been an eyewitness to the Escobaran invasion disaster on the highest levels, Miles reflected. He sat up; his father looked him full in the face, and smiled somberly. 'That Escobaran ship's lucky shot was the best piece of political good fortune ever to befall Barrayar. In hindsight, though, I regret that we handled Gregor so poorly on the matter. I take it that he did better?'

'I think he handled Nikki . . . well. At any rate, Nikki won't experience that sort of late shock to his world. Of course, compared to Serg, Tien wasn't much worse than foolish and venal. But it was hard to watch. No nine-year-old should have to deal with something this vile, this close to his heart. What will it make him?'

'Eventually . . . ten,' the Count said. 'You do what you have to do. You grow or go under. You have to believe he will grow.'

Miles drummed his fingers on the sofa's padded arm. 'Gregor's subtlety is still dawning on me. By admitting Tien's peculation, he's pulled Nikki to the inside with us. Nikki too now has a vested interest in maintaining the cover story, to protect his late da's reputation. Strange. Which is what brings me to you, by the way. Gregor asks—requests and requires, no less!—you give me the lecture you gave him on honor versus reputation. It must have been memorable.'

The Count's brow wrinkled. 'Lecture? Oh. Yes.' He smiled briefly. 'So that stuck in his mind, good. You wonder sometimes, with young people, if anything you say goes in, or if you're just throwing your words on the wind.'

Miles stirred uncomfortably, wondering if any of that last remark was to his address. All right, how much of that remark. 'Mm?' he prompted.

'I wouldn't have called it a lecture. Just a useful distinction, to clarify thought.' He spread his hand, palm up, in a gesture of balance. 'Reputation is what other people know about you. Honor is what you know about yourself.'

'Hm.'

'The friction tends to arise when the two are not the same. In the matter of Vorsoisson's death, how do you stand with yourself?'

How does he strike to the center in one cut like that? 'I'm not sure. Do impure thoughts count?'

'No,' said the Count firmly. 'Only acts of will.'

'What about acts of ineptitude?'

'A gray area, and don't tell me you haven't lived in that twilight before.'

'Most of my life, sir. Not that I haven't leaped up into the blinding light of competence now and then. It's sustaining the altitude that defeats me.'

The Count raised his brows, and smiled crookedly, but charitably refrained from agreeing. 'So. Then it seems to me your immediate problems lie more in the realm of reputation.'

Miles sighed. 'I feel like I'm being gnawed all over by rats. Little corrosive rats, flicking away too fast for me to turn and whap them on the head.'

The Count studied his fingernails. 'It could be worse. There is no more hollow feeling than to stand with your honor shattered at your feet while soaring public reputation wraps you in rewards. That's soul-destroying. The other way around is merely very, very irritating.'

'Very,' said Miles bitterly.

'Heh. All right. Can I offer you some consoling reflections?'

'Please do, sir.'

'First, this too shall pass. Despite the undoubted charms of sex, murder, conspiracy, and more sex, people will eventually grow bored with the tale, and some other poor fellow will make some other ghastly public mistake, and their attention will go haring off after the new game.'

'What sex?' Miles muttered in exasperation. 'There hasn't been any sex. Dammit. Or this would all seem a great deal more worthwhile. I haven't even gotten to kiss the woman yet!'

The Count's lips twitched. 'My condolences. Secondly, given this accusation, no charge against you that's less exciting will ruffle anyone's sensibilities in the future. The near future, anyway.'

'Oh, great. Does this mean I'm free to run riot from now on, as long as I stop short of premeditated murder?'

'You'd be amazed.' A little of the humor died in the Count's eyes, at what memory Miles could not guess, but then his lips tweaked up again. 'Third, there is no thought control—or I'd certainly have put it to use before this. Trying to shape, or respond to, what every idiot on the street believes—on the basis of little logic and less information—would only serve to drive you mad.'

'Some people's opinions do matter.'

'Yes, sometimes. Have you identified whose, in this case?'

'Ekaterin's. Nikki's. Gregor's.' Miles hesitated. 'That's all.'

'What, your poor aging parents aren't on that short list?'

'I should be sorry to lose your good opinion,' said Miles slowly. 'But in this case, you're not the ones . . . I'm not sure how to put this. To use Mother's terminology—you are not the ones sinned against. So your forgiveness is moot.'

'Hm,' said the Count, rubbing his lips and regarding Miles with cool approval. 'Interesting. Well. For your fourth consoling thought, I would point out that in this venue,' a wave of his finger took in Vorbarr Sultana, and by extension Barrayar, 'acquiring a reputation as a slick and dangerous man, who would kill without compunction to obtain and protect his own, is not all bad. In fact, you might even find it useful.'