Memory

'No.' Miles weakened, possibly a subtle and sinister effect of the spiced peach tart melting in his mouth. 'Not at present, anyway.' He smiled slowly. 'But in the department of great leaders of history . . . you can tell everyone with perfect truth that Lord Vorkosigan eats the same food as his gate guard and driver.'

A contract with Ivan's cleaning service to send in people twice a week completed the staffing of Vorkosigan House to Ivan's convenience. But as a ploy to get rid of Ivan, Miles realized, the acquisition of Ma Kosti had proved a slight miscalculation. He should have hired a bad cook.

If Ivan would only leave, Miles could go back to brooding in peace. He couldn't lock his bedroom door and not answer it without it being an invitation to Ivan to break it down; and there was a limit to how much he could snarl and sulk without risking another ice-water dip.

At least Ivan could start going back to work in the daytime, Miles thought. He tried a broad hint over dinner.

' 'Most men,'' he quoted, ' 'are of naught more use in their lives but as machines for turning food into shit.''

Ivan cocked an eyebrow at him. 'Who said that? Your grandfather?'

'Leonardo da Vinci,' Miles returned primly. But was compelled to add, 'Grandfather quoted it to me, though.'

'Thought so,' said Ivan, satisfied. 'Sounds just like the old General. He was a monster in his day, wasn't he?' Ivan put another bite of roast dripping with wine sauce into his mouth, and started chewing.

Ivan . . . was a pain. The last thing a monster wanted was a fellow to follow him around all day long with a mirror.

The days had blended formlessly into a week before Miles found a message from the outside world on his comconsole. He hit the replay, and the fine-boned face of Lady Alys Vorpatril composed itself over his vid plate.

'Hello, Miles,' she began. 'I was very sorry to hear about your medical discharge. I know it must be a great disappointment to you, after all your efforts.'

Credit to Ivan, he had certainly not told her the whole story, or her condolences would have been much differently phrased. She dismissed his utter destruction with an airy wave, and went on to her own concerns. 'At Gregor s request I am hostessing an intimate luncheon in the Residences south garden tomorrow afternoon. He has asked me to invite you. He asks you to come an hour early for a personal conference. I'd take that as Requests and Requires your Attendance, rather than just invites, if I were you, on that first matter. Or so I read it between the lines, though he was all soft-voiced about it, the way he gets sometimes, you know. RSVP immediately you get this message, please.' She cut the com.

Miles bent, and rested his forehead on the cool edge of the comconsole. He'd known this moment must come; it was inherent in choosing to live. Gregor was giving him the opportunity to formally apologize. They had to clear the air sooner or later. If only as Count of his District someday, Miles was going to be around Vorbarr Sultana for a long time yet. He wished he might render his apology in the old archaic belly-sticking sense. In absentia. It would be easier and less painful.

Why didn't they just leave me dead the first time?

He sighed, sat up, and punched in Lady Alys's number on the com.

CHAPTER NINE

Count Vorkosigan's armored groundcar sighed to the pavement under the east portico of the Imperial Residence. Martin looked nervously back over his shoulder toward the gates, and the gesturing guards clustered around them. 'Are you sure that's going to be all right, my lord?'

'Don't worry about it,' said Miles, seated beside him in the drivers compartment. 'They'll have that little bit of wrought-iron straightened back up and repainted before I'm ready to be picked up again, I wager.'

Martin made to pop the canopy, or at least, hunted valiantly for the control to do so in the gleaming array before him. Miles pointed. 'Thanks,' Martin muttered.

The canopy rose; Miles escaped with his life. 'Martin . . . tell you what. While I'm engaged in here, why don't you take this barge for a practice spin around the city.' He dropped the groundcar's comm link into his pocket. 'Ill call you back when I need you. If you'—Miles deleted run into a— 'have a problem, call me . . . no.' He suspected he would shortly be praying for interruptions to his upcoming interview with Gregor, but it was cheating to prearrange them. 'Call this number.' He leaned over and tapped a code into the car's elaborate console. 'This will get you a very competent gentleman named Tsipis, nice fellow, he'll tell you what to do.'

'Yes, my lord.'

'Watch your forward momentum. The power in this beast fools you. The heavy-duty fuel cells add mass almost as badly as the armoring does. The handling is quite deceptive. Take it out someplace where you have a. lot of space, and experiment, so it won't surprise you again.'

'Uh . . . thank you, sir.' The canopy hissed shut; through the polarized half-mirroring Miles could see Martin suck on his lip in concentration, as the car rose and moved forward once more. The car's silvery-Reaming left rear edge was undamaged, Miles noted without surprise. Another trainee, ah yes. If he'd had his wits about him, he could have sent the boy out to practice all last week, and avoided that minor embarrassment with Gregor's gate. But Martin would do all right, once he'd been permitted enough experience, and the better for not having the unnerving presence of his lordly little new employer at his elbow. One of the Residences liveried servants met Miles at the door, and escorted him to the north wing; they were headed for Gregor's private office, then. The north wing was the only section of the sprawling Imperial Residence less than two hundred years old. It had been burned to the ground during the War of Vordarian's Pretendership, the year of Miles's soltoxin-gas-damaged birth, and subsequently rebuilt. The Emperors ground-floor office was one of Gregor's few truly private and personal spaces. The decoration was spare, the limited artwork all purchased from rising young artists who were actually still alive, and there wasn't an antique in it.

Gregor was standing by a tall, heavily draped window, staring out at his garden, as Miles entered. Had he been watching? He wore his Vorbarra House uniform today, very sharp; Miles, presently feeling allergic to uniforms, was under-dressed for the Residence in some slightly outdated street wear he'd rummaged from the back of his closet.

The servant announced, 'Lord Vorkosigan,' and followed himself out. Gregor nodded, and waved Miles to a chair. Miles returned a somewhat leaden smile as Gregor seated himself across from him, and leaned forward, hands clasped on his knees.

'This is as difficult for me as I'm sure it must be for you,' Gregor began.

Miles's smile grew dryer. 'Not . . . quite, I fancy,' he murmured.

Gregor grimaced; one hand flipped outward, as if to bat away the bait. 'I wish you hadn't done it.'

'I wish I hadn't done it too.'

Gregor continued inconsistently, 'We cannot undo what's done. No matter how we might wish it.'

'Mm. If I could—one of those one-wish things—I don't even know that I'd choose this. Maybe go back instead to the death of Sergeant Bothari, and undo that, right at the beginning. I don't know . . . maybe it wouldn't have worked out any better. Probably not. But that was a more innocent mistake, if more lethal. I've graduated to more calculated stupidities, these days.' His voice was stiff.

'You were on the verge of such great things.'

'What, a desk job in Domestic Affairs? I beg to differ.' That was, perhaps, the sharpest bite in all this tangle: that he'd sacrificed everything up to and including his integrity to save an identity that was scheduled to be taken away from him within a year anyway. If he had known, he would have . . . what? What, huh?