Memory

Gregor's lips thinned in serious displeasure. 'I've spent a lifetime having my affairs managed by old men. You were the first man of my generation I thought I might successfully place in a position of real power and responsibility in the upper echelons of what is ironically called my government.'

And I screwed up, yes, we know, Gregor. 'You have to give them this much credit, they weren't old when they started serving you. Illyan's brevet field promotion to Chief of ImpSec was at what, age thirty? And he was going to make me wait to thirty-five, the hypocrite.'

Gregor was shaking his head. If he says, 'Miles, Miles, whatever are we going to do with you?', I'm walking out of here. But what he said instead was, 'So what are you planning to do now?'

Almost as bad. But Miles stayed seated. 'I don't know. I need . . . some time off, serious time off. Time to think. Medical leave and travel time aren't really the same thing.'

'I … request, that you not attempt to make independent contact with the Dendarii Mercenaries. I realize that I and ImpSec combined probably couldn't stop you, if you were determined to hijack them and take off. But there's no way I'd be able to save you from a treason charge this time.'

Miles, managing not to swallow guiltily, nodded perfect understanding. He'd always known that would be a one-way trip. 'The Dendarii don't need a commander with convulsions either. Till I get my head fixed—if it can be fixed—it's a null temptation.' Perhaps fortunately. He hesitated, then let his primary anxiety surface in the most neutral wording he could muster. 'What will the status of the Dendarii Fleet be now?'

'That would seem to depend on its new commander. How will Quinn want to play it?'

So, Gregor was not planning to unilaterally dispose of all of Miles's creative efforts. Miles sighed inward relief, and chose his next words carefully. 'She'd be a fool to throw away our—her— Imperial retainer. And she's nobody's fool. I see no reason the fleet cannot continue to be the same resource for ImpSec under her that they were under me.'

'I'm willing to wait and see how it works out. See if she can deliver the successes. Or not.'

God help you, Quinn. But the Dendarii could remain the Emperor's Own, even without him, yes, that was the important part. They were not to be abandoned. 'Quinn's been my apprentice for damn near a decade. She's in her mid-thirties, at the peak of her performance. She's creative, she's determined, and she gets amazingly streamlined in emergencies, of which she's encountered a fair number, in my wake. If she's not ready to move up … then I'm not the commander I thought I was.'

Gregor nodded shortly. 'Very good.' He inhaled, almost visibly changing tack; his face grew lighter. 'Will you join me for lunch now, m'lord Vorkosigan?'

'I appreciate the gesture, Gregor. But must I stay?'

'There's someone I want you to meet. Or rather, observe.'

He still values my opinion? 'My judgment lately has been nothing to write home about.'

'Mm . . . speaking of that . . . have you told your parents about this yet?'

'No,' said Miles, and added cautiously, 'Have you?'

'No . . .'

A glum silence fell for a moment.

'It's your job,' said Gregor at last, firmly.

'I don't deny it.'

'Do see to your medical treatment promptly, Miles. I am willing to make that an Imperial order, if necessary.'

'Not . . . necessary, Sire.'

'Good.' Gregor rose; Miles perforce rose too.

They were halfway to the door when Miles managed a small-voiced 'Gregor?'

'Yes . . .?'

I'm sorry.

Gregor hesitated, then returned a very tiny nod. They continued on together.

In a grassy nook in the South Garden, enclosed by trees and flowering shrubs, a table for four had been set under a fringed muslin awning. The weather was cooperating, the autumn sun dappling a shade that was perfectly cooled by a faint breath of breeze. The noises of the surrounding city seemed muffled and distant, as if the garden were embedded in a dream. Miles, slightly disturbed, eyed the arrangement as he seated himself at Gregor's left hand. Surely he does not mean to honor me with this. That would be a mockery, right now. Gregor waved away an anxious liveried servant offering a pre-lunch selection of drinks; they were waiting for someone, it appeared.

Enlightenment arrived simultaneously with Lady Alys Vorpatril, very correctly dressed for a Vor woman in the afternoon in a blue bolero and skirt trimmed with silver that seemed—deliberately?—to bring out the faint streaks of silver in her dark hair. She escorted Dr. Laisa Toscane, neat and stylish in Komarran trousers and jacket. Servants leapt to seat the women, then faded discreetly out of sight again.

'Good afternoon, Dr. Toscane,' Miles said, as greetings were exchanged all around. 'We meet again. Is this your second trip to the Residence, then?'

'My fourth.' She smiled. 'Gregor very kindly invited me to a luncheon meeting last week with Minister Racozy and some of his staff, where I had a chance to present some of my Trade Group's views. And then there was a ceremonial reception for some retiring District officers, that was just fascinating.'

Gregor? Miles glanced at Alys Vorpatril, seated on his own left; she returned a very bland look.

The servants began presenting food and the conversation commenced, not surprisingly, with a few platitudes about Komarran affairs. It took an almost immediate hard left turn, however, as Gregor and Laisa began comparing families and childhoods; they were both only-children, a fact they seemed to find mutually engrossing and worthy of much comparison-analysis. Miles had the strong sense of having come in on Part 2, or perhaps Part 4, of an ongoing serial. Miles's own role seemed limited to occasional confirming murmurs about incidents of the distant past he barely remembered. Alys, normally chatty, said almost as little.

Gregor exerted himself to draw Laisa out; but she held her own, gently insisting on a point-for-point trade of information. It was more than Miles had heard Gregor talk at one time in ages.

When the cream cakes appeared, along with an offering of five kinds of dessert coffees and teas, Gregor said shyly, 'I've arranged a small surprise for you, Laisa.' He made a covert hand-motion, down at his side, an obviously prearranged signal immediately picked up by an attentive liveried man, who promptly disappeared around the shrubbery. 'You said you'd never seen a horse except in vids. The horse is such a symbol of the Vor, I thought you might like a ride.'

On cue, the liveried man returned leading the most gorgeous little white mare Miles had ever seen in his life, not barring his grandfathers stables of expensive bloodstock. Big-eyed, dainty-footed . . . the hooves were all polished black, and the long silvery mane and flowing tail had scarlet ribbons braided in, to match the saddlecloth, not to mention the scarlet embroidered lead-line attached to the gilt bridle.

'Oh, my.' Laisa's breath was quite taken away, as she ogled the beast. 'May I pet it? But I have no idea how to ride!'

'But of course.' Gregor escorted her to the mare's side; she laughed as her hands flew to touch the glossy neck, and ran through the shining mane. The mare's placid eyes half-closed in calm acceptance of these just attentions. 'I'll lead you myself,' said Gregor. 'Just at a walk. She's very gentle.' The mare was next door to somnolent, in fact, in Miles's judgment; Gregor was obviously taking no chances on any unpleasant horsy accidents spoiling his show.