Then he returned and there was great excitement. They all became docile and eager to please, displaying their charms, although there were only their companions and the occasional eunuch to see them.
Rani selected her six. I saw her eyes rest on me, and horror was replaced by relief when I realized that she considered me still not ripe for the great honour.
The six girls were selected two who had been before and found special favour, and four novices.
We all watched them being prepared. They were bathed first, their skins anointed, and scent rubbed into their hair. Henna was applied to the soles of their feet and the palms of their hands. Their lips were reddened with beeswax and their eyes made large with kohl. Flowers were set in their hair, bracelets on their wrists and ankles before they were dressed in sequinned garments.
We all waited to see who would be sent back.
It was one of the youngest who was chosen on that occasion.
“She will give herself airs when she returns,” Nicole said to me.
“They always do … particularly the young ones. I thought it might be your turn.”
I must have betrayed my revulsion, for she said: “You do not want?”
“I wish with all my heart that I could get away.”
“If he saw you … you would be the one.”
“I … no … no …”
“It will come. Perhaps soon …”
“I would do anything … anything to escape.”
She was thoughtful.
Nicole told me that if one was to receive those little privileges which were such a part of harem life, one must be on good terms with two people. One was Rani, of course; the other was the Chief Eunuch.
“He is the important one. He is the Pasha of the Harem. I have made him a very good friend of mine.”
“I can see you are very wise.”
“So long I have been here. It is the only home I know.”
“And you are reconciled to all this … to being one of many?”
“It is the way of life here,” she replied.
“Samir is my son. He will be Pasha one day. I shall be the Pasha’s mother and that is a very honourable state, I can tell you.”
“Would you not like a normal marriage … a husband and children … not all the time wondering if someone will replace you?”
“I have always known this.” She waved her arms, indicating the harem.
“It is so with all of them here. They know nothing else. They want to be the Pasha’s favourite. They want to have a son who surpasses all others … and makes
for his mother the grand position from which none can shake her. “
“Can that be?”
“It can be.”
“And that is your ambition?”
“My ambition is in Samir. Tell me of your ambition.”
“To get away from here. To get back to my home … to my own people.
To find those who were with me when I was shipwrecked. “
“It is almost certain that you will be the chosen of the Pasha. When Rani thinks you are ready, she will send you to him. He will like you because you are different. He must be tired of these dark-skinned beauties. You are something quite new. If you have a son … your future is made.”
“I would do anything to escape it. Nicole, I am frightened. I do not want this. It is not what I have been brought up to understand. I feel unclean … cheapened … just a slave … a woman without a personality … and no life of her own.”
“You talk strangely and yet I understand. I did not begin as one of them either.”
“But you have accepted this way of life.”
“I was too young for anything else and now there is Samir. I want this for him. He will be Pasha one day. That is what I want more than anything.”
“You will get your wish. He is the eldest.”
“Sometimes I am afraid of Fatima. When she goes to the Pasha she takes with her a powerful draught. I know she brews it. There is a way of rousing a man’s desire. I have heard it talked of. It is made of crushed rubies, peacock’s bones and the testicles of a ram. They are mixed and slipped into the wine. I think when she goes to the Pasha she tries this.”
“Where … where would she find these things?”
“Rani has a secret cupboard in which are many strange things. Herbs .
potions … all sorts of mixtures. Rani knows much of these things. She may have this draught among her scents and unguents.”
“But you say it is a secret cupboard.”
“She keeps it locked, but there may be means of finding the key.
Fatima would be wise in this matter. I know her. She would do anything . just anything. That is why I am afraid. “
“But when does she see the Pasha?”
“We are the mothers of his favourite sons … she and I. He sends for us now and then … a sort of courtesy visit … to talk of our sons and to spend the night. Oh, I fear that woman. She is determined.
She would do anything . anything. Her hopes are in Feisal. The Pasha is fond of him. The Chief Eunuch tells me this. Chief Eunuch does not like Fatima. That is not good for her. She is very foolish sometimes . and foolish women do rash things. When she was favoured she gave herself such airs. She thought she was First Lady already. She was disrespectful to Chief Eunuch . so they are now enemies. Silly Fatima. If she could, she would harm Samir and me in some way. “
“But Samir is the eldest and so bright and clever.”
That I know, but it is in the hands of the Pasha. Now he likes Samir.
He is proud of Samir. He is the eldest and the favourite. While he is so, all is well. But it is the Pasha who decides and he will have many sons. If Fatima could do me or Samir some harm it would be done. “
“I cannot believe she would attempt it.”
“It happened once … in the harem.”
“But it will not again. Everyone knows what happened last time. That would be enough to deter them.”
“I do not know. Fatima is a determined woman. She would risk much for Feisal and her own advantage. I must be watchful.”
“I will be watchful, too.”
“And now there will be you. You will have a son. That son would be different. He would be like you. In Samir and
“Feisal, well, there is a likeness. But your son would be quite different. “
I was filled with horror at the thought of it and recoiled from her.
“It’s true,” she said.
“And do you really mean that you would not want this?”
“I could almost wish I had not been saved from the ship. I wish we had stayed on the island. If only I could get away … Oh, Nicole, if only that were possible. I would do anything … anything.”
She was staring ahead of her, deep in thought.
A few days later I was sitting by the fountain when she approached and sat down beside me.
“I have something for you,” she said.
“For me?” I asked in surprise.
“I think you will be pleased. Chief Eunuch gave it to me for you. It is from the man who came with you.”
“Do you mean … Nicole, where is it?”
“Be careful. We may be watched. Fatima watches everything. Rest your hand on the seat. In a moment I will slip a paper into it.”
“No one is looking.”
