“How can you be sure? There are watchful eyes everywhere. These women seem idle. They are idle … but because they have nothing to do, they invent intrigue … even when it is not there. They are bored . looking for excitement… and when it does not come they try to make it. They have nothing to do but watch and gossip. Do as I say if you want this note.”
“Oh, I do. I do.”
“You must be careful then. Chief Eunuch says it is very important. He could lose his life for doing this. He does it for me … because I ask.”
My hand was lying on the seat. She laid hers beside it and after a few moments a crumpled paper was slipped under mine.
“Do not look at it now. Hide it…”
I slipped it into my trouser pocket. I could scarcely sit still. But she said it would be unwise of me to get up and hurry away. Someone might suspect something and that could mean dire consequences for us all.
I knew that for a man to communicate with the women of the harem could result in a cruel and lingering death, not only for the man but for the woman concerned. This had been the rule for centuries and I could believe that it still prevailed in this place which seemed to have slipped back-or never emerged from-another era.
I had to suppress my impatience until at length I felt I could wander off without arousing any undue curiosity. They were used to my being alone when I was not with Nicole, for she was the only one to whom I could talk. I went into the room where we slept. It was deserted, so I sat on my divan and brought out the piece of paper.
Rosetta [I read], I am nearby. I was brought here with you and I am working in the gardens just outside the harem. I was able to do a service for an important person and his pride demands he repay me. This is how he is doing it, by bringing this note to you. We are close. I am thinking hard. I will do something. Never fear. Don’t give up hope.
I felt limp with relief. I screwed up the paper. I wanted to keep it, to hide it away under my clothes, to feel it against my skin, to remind me that he had written it and that he was nearby and thinking of me.
But I must destroy it. It was dangerous and if it were discovered it could destroy us. It was dangerous. I tore it into as many pieces as I could. I would scatter them .
few pieces at a time so that it would never be discovered.
Later I talked to Nicole.
“You are happier,” she said.
“What I brought you pleased you.”
“Oh yes, but it is difficult to see how there can be change. Does anyone ever escape from here?”
“Husbands are sometimes found if the Pasha is no longer interested and knows he never will be again. A few have been returned to their families.”
“But does anyone ever run away?”
She shook her head.
“I do not think that would be possible.”
“Nicole,” I said, “I must. I must.”
“Yes,” she said slowly, ‘you must. If you do not, soon you will be sent to the Pasha. Your skin is becoming very white. You have put on flesh and no longer look like a skeleton. You are different from when you came. Rani is pleased with you. It will be soon . perhaps next time he sends. “
“He is away now.”
“Yes, but he will come back. When he comes back he always sends … Rani will say, ” Yes, the fair one, she is ready now. How pleased he will be with me for giving him such a prize . something he has not had before. ” He will like you, I dare say. He may keep you with him.
You will surely have a child. The Pasha will like you very much because you are different. He may like your child more than Feisal . more than Samir. Chief Eunuch says that Pasha is very interested in the West. in England particularly. He wants to know more of it. He wants to hear about the great Queen. “
“No … no,” I cried.
“I hate it. I won’t stay here. I’ll get away somehow. I don’t care what they do to me … but I won’t stay for that. I’ll do anything … anything. Nicole, can you help me?”
She looked steadily at me and a smile played about her lips.
She said slowly: “The Chief Eunuch is a friend of mine. He would not want me to be replaced as Chief Lady. He wants me to stay the mother of the next Pasha. Then we work together. We are friends, you see. I learn from him of outside and he learns from me of here … inside.
I know what goes on here. I can tell him. He pays me back with information from outside. Perhaps . “
“Perhaps?”
“Well, just perhaps … I might discover something.”
I took her arm and shook her.
“If you can help me, Nicole, if you know something …”
“I will help,” she said.
“No one must replace Samir. Besides, we are good friends.”
Hope. It was the last thing left to me and I was learning that it can mean everything to those in desperate straits.
The note and what I had heard from Nicole gave me that much-needed hope now.
I thought of all the dangers through which I had passed since that night when disaster had overtaken the Atlantic Star. I had had amazing good luck. Could it continue? Nicole would help if she could, I knew.
It was not only that we were friends but she thought I might be a threat to her position. Nicole was a realist. But the Chief Eunuch favoured her. No doubt he had his reasons. But did it matter what they were, as long as they worked in my favour?
I was desperate. I needed all the help I could get.
I had reason to hope. Two of the most important people in the seraglio were on my side. And Simon was not far off.
Indeed there was hope. For the first time since I had entered this place, escape did not seem a complete impossibility.
Rani was indicating pleasure in my appearance. She grunted with satisfaction when she massaged my person.
My heart sank. In the cold light of reason, escape seemed remote. I had allowed myself to be carried away on a wave of euphoria.
How could I escape?
That afternoon I went into the dormitory and lay on my divan. The blinds were drawn and the heavy drapes made the room cool and dark.
Someone crept into the room. Through half-closed eyes I saw Nicole.
“You are sick?” she whispered.
“Sick with fear,” I replied.
She sat down on the divan.
“I am afraid that nothing is going to save me,” I went on.
She said: “Rani plans … next time … she will send you.”
“I … I won’t go.”
She shrugged her shoulders, a habitual gesture with her.
“Chief Eunuch says that he will be away for a week. When he comes back he will send …”
“A week. Oh Nicole, what can I do?”
“We have a week,” she said.
“What can we do?”
She regarded me steadily.
“Chief Eunuch likes your man. He wants to help him. They have talked. Rani wants very much to show you to the Pasha. She wants him to know that when you came here you were not very good … apart from your hair and that was without lustre. Now it shines. She has made you fit for the Pasha and now that you are as you are, you should be sent to him. He will be thankful to the man who brought you, who was the Chief Eunuch, but it is Rani who has nursed you back to health. But… as I say … we have a week.”
