Grace’s eyebrows go toward her hairline as she holds it up for my assessment.
“I’ll give it a try.” I grin and glance back down to the rack of clothes in front of me.
“Yes!” Gracie hisses excitedly. “I knew I could find you the perfect things.”
“Well, I need a whole lot more. As in, an entire wardrobe full of new clothes.” I make the split-second decision. If I’m going to work on finding myself, I should probably purchase my own clothes, not just wear the things mother has placed in my closet on a regular basis.
Her mouth drops open before curling into an evil grin. “I’m going to load you up, sister! You just wait. You need a new look, I’m the girl for you. Budget?”
I shake my head.
“Righteous! I’m going to go get one of those bags to hold all the stuff you’re going to try on!” She dances her way toward one of the checkers.
A red jersey dress with three-quarter sleeves and a deep V in the front catches my eye. I pick it up and evaluate it in my size. It’s sexy but understated, and the fabric would feel luxurious against my bare skin. It’s a deep crimson that’s way outside of my comfort zone when it comes to color palettes. My mother would hate it. I start to put it back on the rack on autopilot.
“You have got to try that on. Girl, you’d look so sexy in it, and my brother’s eyes would bug out of his head! His favorite colors are black and red.” She winks saucily.
Black I figured out on my own. The two times I saw him he was wearing all black. Plus, the pictures of him online all had him wearing black as well. “Maybe I should get something black, then?” I can feel my cheeks heat at the bold suggestion.
Gracie waggles her eyebrows. “Yes, you definitely should. And it wouldn’t hurt to get some red and black lingerie to boot!” She knocks her hip into mine exaggeratedly.
I cough into my hand. “You’re getting a little ahead of yourself, don’t you think?”
She adds another blouse to the bag she’s now holding. This one a soft yellow. Again, not something I’d pick for myself, which makes me eager to try it.
“You’re deluded if you think my brother doesn’t want to get into your panties.” She blinks a few times and lets that sink in before continuing. “I mean yeah, he’s my brother, but I’m not blind. He’s a hunk. All of the women at Lotus House are hot for him.”
Her comment makes my heart sink. I’ve seen the women at Lotus House. They are all attractive beauties. Not to mention, many of the clientele are young, svelte college girls. “Really?”
“Oh, don’t worry. You’re the only one he’s ever asked out from work. He has a really strict policy about it too. Then you come along and—whammo!—rule is shot to shit.”
“Shot to…what?” I’m confused.
“Meaning, he must really like you to break his own rule against not dating clients from the studio.”
“Oh.” Huh. Why would he do that?
“Yeah, oooohhhhh…” She drags out the word. “Told you. Now let’s make sure you look fantastic and make my bro want to weep at how pretty you look for your date on Friday!”
I’m not sure anything could make a macho man like Nick Salerno want to weep, but I have nothing to lose. Doing my best to follow my friend’s lead and go with the flow, I grab another cleavage-popping blouse, this one black with a sassy long tie at the waist that wraps around the body twice before tying in a bow. I hand it over to Grace, and she plops it in the bag.
“Atta girl. We’ve got some serious shopping to do if we’re going to get you set up in a new wardrobe.”
“How about we do what we can today and plan another date for next week?” I dig my thumbnail into my palm, wishing I hadn’t jumped the gun or been too eager.
Stupid, Honor. Stupid.
Grace, oblivious to my inner turmoil, just bobs her head. “Sounds like a plan, Stan.” She moves over to another rack of clothes, lifts a top, scrunches up her nose, and puts the top back before moving to the next.
I let out a relieved sigh. I glance down at my hand and see the thumbnail imprint dug deep into my palm. I use my thumb to rub out the spot of pain. Thank goodness I didn’t dig deep enough to cut the skin. That would be hard to explain. Ringing out my hand, though, I congratulate myself on putting myself out there, even though it was hard to do.
Breathe, Honor. You’re doing great.
Hannon’s voice comes to me, soothing the notes of tension spiraling down my spine as I rub the center of my palm.
Slowly but surely, brother. I’m finding it.
Monet,
See, I’m learning. :)
Today was a good day. Two notable things happened. First, Nick called me last night. We texted a few times, and then he actually called me by phone. I didn’t think he would really check in with me, but he did. We talked about him having served time in the army and my graduating from school. I didn’t know what to tell him about living at home with my parents. I’m nervous he’s going to find out about how horrible my family is. I’m not sure what to do.
What I realized while talking to him is that I have no idea what I want out of my life. Is that normal for a twenty-six-year-old person with a college degree? I should want to be something big, run a company, or serve on one of the countless boards of directors for one of my family’s holdings, but the idea does nothing but bore me. It would make my father happy. Maybe. Not a lot makes him genuinely happy. I’d like to talk about this at our next session.
The second new thing I
