I gasp, his words digging so deep within me, I don’t know where he begins and I end. I sit up and lock my hands around his neck, needing him closer, plastered against my body. The urge is overwhelming. He must feel it too because he stands, scoots onto the bed, and tucks me along his chest. His chin rests against the crown of my head, surrounding me fully with his embrace.
“Honor, I get you on a level no man will ever understand. And I want to teach you healthy ways to get through your depression, anger, and grief so that the bite of the razor doesn’t call to you. Never does again.” He clears his throat. “Would you let me inside, let me help you deal with these wounds?”
Let him inside.
Help me.
It all sounds so surreal. The only man who ever cared was Hannon. And what Nick shared, he does understand, maybe better than I do.
“Why?” I need to hear what is compelling him. What’s inside this good and honest soul that wants to trudge into the ugly unknown with me.
“Because when I’m with you, my demons disappear. You do that for me. Your presence, your smile, the goodness I see every time I look at you. It’s as if you were put on this earth for me and me alone. You’re my broken dove, but together, we’ll fly free. Free of the pasts that haunt us.” Nick runs his fingers through the tendrils of my hair before continuing. “It may be selfish of me to want you close, to be that shoulder you cry on, but babe, every time I hold you, a little of my own hurts fade away.”
I close my eyes and nuzzle my nose against the center of his chest. “I want you, Nick, but I don’t want to bring you down.” My voice quavers and shakes.
He tips my chin up with his thumb and forefinger. “Hey, you only lift me up. Remember what I said: We brave it together; we fly free together. You and me. Maybe that’s why I’m attracted to you. Aside from your gorgeous face and big tits, that is.” He grins and kisses my forehead.
A small chuckle slips from my lips, and I can hardly believe I’m in a hospital bed, snuggled into the most amazing man’s chest, after having suffered a tragedy I didn’t mean to inflict on myself, and here I am laughing. Not hardy-har-har type guffaws, but like the light flickering in the center of my chest is getting bigger and brighter. And it’s all because of this man.
“Do you think you can do that? Let me be there for you?”
I press my lips together and think about what he’s offering. It’s almost too good to be true. “I can try.” I’m almost afraid of the words as I whisper them, not wanting to do anything that could let him down again.
“That’s the best I can hope for. And while we’re doing that, we’re going to work with Moe to figure out your therapy.”
I frown. “Moe?”
“Monet Hart. She’s Moe to all of us.”
I nod.
“Have you called her? Does she know you’re here?”
I shake my head and snuggle close, suddenly so tired. My mind feels like it’s been on a merry-go-round, which hasn’t stopped spinning in days. I just need a moment to breathe.
For long minutes, Nick runs his fingers through my hair and holds me close as best he can around the IV and bandages. He kisses the top of my head and whispers. “I’m going to be here for you. I promise you’re not alone anymore.”
His words sound like a benediction, a promise. I curl my fingers into the soft fabric of his T-shirt, take a deep breath, and sink into his embrace. “Please don’t make me love you…” I sigh. “I’ll never recover when you leave.”
Nick’s arms tighten around my body, and he tugs the blanket over us both. “Not going anywhere. You rest, get better so I can take you home. We’ll worry about everything else one day at a time. One day at a time.”
The last thing I hear is Nick’s steady heartbeat lulling me to sleep, and I feel the press of his lips against the crown of my head.
Chapter Fourteen
Mermaid Pose (Sanskrit: Eka Pada Raja Kapotasna)
This pose will open your heart and chest, expand your flexibility, and you’ll look beautiful doing it. This pose is an advanced level pose and a variation of pigeon pose. Start this pose by placing one leg out behind you. Bring the other knee in front of you in a bent position so that the heel of your foot crosses under the body. Then bend over your knee, learning to stretch that hamstring, quad, and leg in a different way. You can use your hands to press the upper body up and arch back as much as you are comfortable. Once you are flexible enough, you can bend the back leg up, foot pointed to the sky, and grab onto the foot during your arch.
NICHOLAS
“Nick? What can I do for you this morning?” Monet answers my call on the first ring, sounding chipper and friendly.
“Hey, Moe, it’s uh…” I run my fingers through my hair and look over my shoulder at my girl sleeping soundly in the hospital bed. “It’s Honor.”
An audible gasp comes through the line. “Oh no, please tell me she’s okay. When she left yesterday, I tried calling, but…”
“She’s in the hospital.” I clear my voice. “Alive.”
Thank Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.
“Nick, I’m sorry. What happened yesterday…” Her voice trails off, losing momentum.
“What did happen yesterday?” I urge, a hint of anger and accusation filling my tone.
“You know I can’t discuss client sessions.”
“Moe, she took a razor to her wrist. Bled all over the floor of her bathroom until the maid found her. Now, I don’t give a flying fuck about your ethics and shit! What
