I open my mouth, but when I hesitate, he comes toward me and puts both hands on my arms. I absorb his warmth, revel in it.
“I heard a noise outside earlier. It spooked me.”
His brow furrows. “Yeah?”
“Yeah, there are no parties at my place, so it just freaked me out a bit.”
“Okay, why don’t you get Cassie in the bath, and I’ll do a perimeter check. It was probably just a raccoon or something.”
“Okay,” I say, hating myself for feeling all emotional. He disappears outside, locking up behind him, and I take a look at Cassie. “Bath time.”
She takes my hands and my heart wobbles as she skips down the hall. How could any mother leave a child like her? I pour the bath and help Cassie in.
Without wanting to pry too much, I ask. “So you had a fun with your daddy tonight?”
She smiles. “I had a lot of fun.”
“I’m so glad.” I want to ask here where she went and what she did, but I don’t want to betray Jaxon’s trust. I help her bath, wash her hair, and by the time we’re finished, Jaxon’s footsteps coming down the all reach my ears.
“Hey,” he says. “Let’s get you into your pajamas.” I hand over a clean Cassie to him and make my way back to my books. I flip the pages, so lost in thought I hadn’t heard Jaxon’s approach.
He touches my hair, and I nearly jump ten feet in the air.
“Whoa. You okay?” he asks.
“I didn’t hear you.”
He narrows his eyes. “What’s bothering you?”
I make light of it, but I fear he can see right through me. “That noise spooked me,” I say, not a lie, and gesture with a nod toward the window.
“It was nothing.” He scrubs his chin, and averts my eyes. The hairs on my neck tingle. What is he not telling me. “Just a kicked over trash can. Raccoon likely.” I’m about to question him on that, when he says. “Want to watch a movie?”
“I can’t. Exams, and I’m having a hard time concentrating.”
His grin turns mischievous. “You know I can help you with that.”
I laugh, a little of the tension leaving with it. “I know, but my exam is tomorrow.”
“When is your last exam?”
“December 9th.”
“Ah, the day before your birthday.”
“You remembered my birthday?”
He gives me a look like I’m dense. “Yeah. So about me helping you concentrate,” he says, bringing the conversation back to sex.
Or is this about sex?
Maybe he really is interested in my school, and grades. He knows they are important to me, and he’s been so supportive, driving me back and forth—even though my own car is working now—and making my lunches to ensure I’m fueling the brain. His words, not mine.
“I can’t be up all night making love to you.”
Making love.
Oh, God Rachel get it together.
A softness comes over him, and he says, “How about just half the night.” He bends forward, presses his lips to mine. His kiss, so achingly tender and profound it takes me by surprise and has me wondering if he really is still in love with this ex. No man can kiss like that without feeling something more, right?
Do I dare hope?
“Okay, half the night,” I agree.
16
Jaxon
“Daddy, where is she?” Cassie asks impatiently from the back seat.
“She’ll be here any second,” I say, and scan the big steps leading to her lecture hall. I glance at the dashboard clock. Rachel’s last exam before the Christmas break ended at five and it’s ten minutes past. I tap my leg restlessly. I hope everything went all right for her. I’ve been helping her stay focused, but I hope I wasn’t taking up too much of her time, or making her too tired when we fell into bed and made love every night.
“There she is, Daddy. There she is,” Cassie yells, and I can’t help but chuckle. When this affair started, it was with the intention of a sex-only relationship for me, and Cassie was never supposed to fall for the girl next door. Well, so much for best laid plans, because both of us are crazy about her, and tonight after I get Cassie tucked into bed, I’m going to tell her that.
A smile splits Rachel’s face as she tugs on her dollar store mitts and hurries toward us. My heart beats a little fast when her gaze meets mine, and since she’s smiling I can only hope her exams went well.
“Hey, you two,” she says as she jumps into the passenger seat. “It’s cold out there.”
No matter how much I want to kiss her, I can’t. Not before I talk to her tonight, and then to Cassie. My daughter is smart, and probably guesses how we feel about each other, but I want to have a conversation with her before we publicly display our affection. So instead of kissing her shivering mouth, I slide a hand across the seat and place it on her leg.
“How did it go?”
“Not too bad.”
“Yeah.”
“Pretty good, actually.”
“That’s my girl,” I say, and give her leg a squeeze.
Cassie starts to kick my seat. “Let’s go, Daddy.” I laugh. She’s so excited to finally show Rachel what we’ve secretly been doing the last week.
“What are you so excited about, Cassie?” Rachel asks.
I glance at my daughter in the rearview mirror and she take a deep breath and puffs her cheeks out, like she’s been doing for the last few weeks when it took everything in her to keep our surprise from Rachel.
“I’m hungry,” she finally blurts out.
“Oh, well as soon as we get home, I’ll make us something to eat,” Rachel says. I smile at that, the world as I know it right for the first time in a long time. She gives me a strange look. “What?” she asks me like I just grew a second head.
Instead of answering, I ease into traffic, and Cassie and Rachel chat. “What
