He then spoke about his second wife, called Cheryl, whom he married when he was 25. He said they were married for more than 20 years but then they got divorced. I was sad when I heard his stories because it must be very sad indeed if the person you love dies, right? I also think it must be very sad if the person you have been married to for many years suddenly decides not to love you anymore. Gary said that was what happened with his second wife. I felt so sorry for him. It is a sad life, right?
He told me he had two children. They were from his second wife and they were now 25 years old and 23 years old.
Wow, I thought, a kid who is 25! That was my age!
He seemed such a lovely man but so lonely. He told me about the travelling he had done and his journey to Bali a few years ago. He still didn’t tell me very much about that trip, and after my experiences with Charlie I did wonder why. I hoped he wasn’t being untruthful or holding something back and although I didn’t think he was, I decided not to trust him completely at first.
However, I did tell him about my life here. I told him simple things at first about my family and my job and my writing, and he was very interested in what I told him and supported me a lot.
Then I started to tell him about bugil, sorry, I mean, about Charlie, and I told him how much he had hurt me and, can you believe it, I even told Gary about making love with Charlie, and I didn’t feel shy or guilty. It just felt right to tell him.
Gary was so sweet when I said that to him. He said that he just wanted to hold me and take away my pain and dry my tears. It was such a lovely thing to say and it made me cry a bit. Nobody has ever said such a nice thing to me as that. I felt then that he was the nicest man in the whole world and I told him my feeling. It was strange because I never usually tell anybody directly my feeling like that, but with Gary it all felt so natural and nice.
Then he asked if he could call me and so we spoke by Skype. I felt so relaxed and calm speaking to him, even though it was a bit difficult to really understand everything. We spoke for ages and I felt so close to him. It was a strange feeling but it was a nice one too.
After this first time talking to Gary, I stopped thinking much about Charlie and I looked forward to speaking with Gary every day. Sometimes we would speak on Skype, and sometimes on YM. I loved to talk to him, but I understood more when we were on YM.
One day when we were chatting on YM, I told him that I really really liked him and I looked forward to all our talking every day and he said he did too. Then I said that it was a pity he lived so far away because I would love to meet him, and he said that he would love to come to Jakarta one day, maybe soon, and meet me. I was excited when he said that and I said it would be great and that we could hang out together and I would tell everyone he was my new boyfriend.
Actually, I was just joking when I said that so I was very shocked indeed when he said he would be proud to be my boyfriend. I asked if he was serious and he said he was, and that he did want to be with me.
My heart started beating so fast when he said that. Really, was he serious? I asked him again if he was joking, and again he said he was telling me the truth. I was so happy but also so surprised and a bit scared. I mean, we were so far apart and he was so much older than me, and I had been so badly hurt by Charlie that I just didn’t know if I could really trust anyone again so soon.
I didn’t answer his YM for a few minutes and then he pinged me. He asked me if I was ok. I told him I was, but I also told him about my confusion and my fears. He said then that ‘love is blind’ and we could overcome everything.
This made me more worried and scared and happy, because he said ‘love’ to me. I asked him, ‘Do you love me, then?’ and he said ‘Yes,’ and then I said ‘I love you too,’ and then neither of us said anything for a few minutes.
I felt strange, really weird. I had never been in love before, not really. I mean, I love my family and I love my friends, but I had never really been in love with anyone before. It was a really unusual feeling for me when I first felt it and even more when I first said it, but it was nice, too. It sort of made me want to cry, but in a happy way. It made me want to shout loud, but also to be quiet. I wanted to tell everyone and no one at the same time.
I thought I was being a silly girl again, but I wasn’t sure. I felt confused. I wanted so much to tell someone, but I didn’t know who. Ari was having his own problems (which I promise I will tell you about in a minute or two) and Selvey was also busy (I will tell you about her too soon) and so I had no one to ask or to talk to.
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