8
An Analysis of Tweet, Tweet, Tweet, Tweet
Having delivered this piece of what I considered to be amazing news, I sat back in Peatmouse’s desk and waited for Miss Switch to be suitably amazed.
“What are you babbling about, Rupert?” she inquired. “Just how could you know anything like that?”
“I only figured it out by accident. It’s why I needed proof you really were Miss Switch. I thought you might actually be Saturna!” I announced. “I know Saturna has it in for me because I wrecked the computowitch.”
“Computowitch! Oh, how I hate the sound of that word! That stupid little machine condemning me to sweep Witch’s Mountain for one hundred fifty years if I didn’t come up with some original witchcraft!” Miss Switch leaped up from the desk and began to stride furiously up and down at the front of the classroom. Her eyes were shooting out so many sparks, I had to duck to keep from having some of them sizzle right on me.
“I … I’m sorry, Miss Switch,” I said meekly. “I didn’t mean to get you so upset.”
Miss Switch flopped back into Creampuff’s desk, pulled out a tablet of lined yellow paper from under the lid, and began fanning herself. “No apologies necessary, Rupert,” she said. “After all, you’re the one who came up with the idea of telling that machine what a popular teacher I was with the Pepperdine fifth grade. That astonishing piece of news completely wrecked it. No more issuing orders. Gone! Never to be heard of again!”
“Not … not exactly gone, Miss Switch,” I said in a very small voice.
She turned and glared at me. “What do you mean, not exactly?”
“I’m afraid it’s sort of … sort of come back,” I said, cringing.
“WHAT?” howled Miss Switch.
“It’s okay, Miss Switch. It really is!” I nearly choked getting this out as fast as I could. After all, I wasn’t anxious to have another fireworks display. “It’s come back in a different form … via a genuine computer! But now that I know about this, I think it’s going to be very helpful.”
“It better be!” moaned Miss Switch.
“It is. I’m sure of it,” I said. “I found out about it when I was writing an e-mail to Spook. That’s Amelia, who’s left town with her family, Miss Switch. I was telling her how I hoped you’d be appearing again. I got around to mentioning the computowitch, and my computer suddenly went crazy, the screen shivering, colors changing, my computer heaving in and out like it was having trouble breathing. I’m not going to go into the whole thing now, because it’s just the end of it that matters. After my computer settled down, it had the word ‘computowitch’ on the screen. I was doodling around and added a ‘.com’ to it, and guess what?”
“I gather you hit on a Web site, Rupert,” Miss Switch said excitedly “Go on!”
“You’re exactly right, Miss Switch,” I said. “But there was nothing on it because I needed a password to get in. I took a stab at it, and guess what again?”
“SATURNA!!!” Miss Switch threw her head back and gave an unearthly howl of glee. It was the kind of howl, I have to confess, that was always a spooky reminder of what Miss Switch was.
Miss Switch rubbed her hands together with a triumphant look on her face. “Saturna’s private Web site … computowitch.com! Just think of it … a direct line to that dim-witted brother of hers, Grodork, aka Mr. Dorking, Pepperdine’s beloved principal, and I can find out everything Saturna has to say to him—every one of her instructions!”
“Does … does that mean I don’t have a thing to worry about?” I asked.
Miss Switch’s slanted eyes narrowed to glass-green slivers. “Not at all, Rupert. You’re still in danger, and for that matter, so possibly is the whole former fifth, now the sixth grade. After all, they’re the ones who made it possible for you to put the original computowitch out of order by expressing their … er … regard for me as a teacher. And Saturna’s a very, very clever witch. I may know what she’s up to, but then I have to find a way to outwit her. We can take no chances. Now, would you like to report to me what you’ve read so far on computowitch.com?”
I had to shake my head. “Miss Switch, what she wrote was all in some kind of nutty rhymes. I’ll bring it up on my computer as soon as I get home and make a copy. You’ll have it first thing tomorrow.”
“Not good enough. Time is of the essence,” Miss Switch said. “Let me see, hmmmm. Doesn’t Pepper-dine have a computer or two lying around, Rupert?”
I jumped up. “Sure they do! A whole roomful for computer class, and two of them can connect to the Internet. Probably be safer if we don’t turn on any lights, but I’ve got my flashlight. I’ll bet you’ve never operated a computer, have you, Miss Switch? I’ll show you how it works.”
“I’m a quick learn,” said Miss Switch. “Come on, Rupert, let’s do it. You coming with us, cat?”
“I’ll pass on this one,” Bathsheba said. “After all the excitement, I’d like to just stay here and enjoy the peace and quiet.” She started to wash her whiskers again, and before she had finished with the first whisker, Miss Switch and I were on our way down the dark hall, the light from my flashlight bobbing along ahead of us.
Fred was along with us, too, naturally As we walked down the hall, I unzipped the pocket with my free hand and reached in to give him a reassuring pat on the head. He gave me a reassuring peck right back on my finger. I quickly zipped the pocket back up, and was I glad I did!
“Brow-ow-owl!” Bathsheba came bounding down the hall after us. “Changed my mind,”
