“Now, Rupert,” Miss Switch said as soon as we had entered the room, “please remember that when you return here tomorrow, you will find Miss Blossom and not Miss Switch.”
“I got that message,” I said.
“If you have anything you wish to report to me, have it in writing stapled behind your homework papers,” Miss Switch continued. “Or you may leave a message on my desk. But be certain I’m right there to see it. If we have to confer, it will have to be done very carefully. If we’re caught with our heads together, that could make even a numskull like Grodork, aka Mr. Dorking, suspicious.”
“I’m right with you, Miss Switch,” I said. “Is that it?”
“Yes, Rupert,” she replied, “except for one other important thing. I have to warn you that whatever you notice happening in class, you’ll please keep it to yourself. No eye contact with any of your friends, or with me, either. Is that clear?”
“Sure,” I said breezily, not realizing how difficult that assignment might turn out to be.
“Then, run along, Rupert!” Miss Switch motioned me toward the window.
“Boy, Miss Switch,” I said, “I can’t wait to e-mail Spook … er … Amelia, and tell her you’re back.”
“Absolutely not, Rupert!” Miss Switch glared at me. “No such thing.”
“Wh … Wh … Why not?” I stammered, taken aback. “Don’t you trust her?”
“Of course I trust Amelia,” said Miss Switch. “That’s not the point. It’s just that I consider it highly dangerous to have all this classified information flying around out there via e-mail.”
“Telephone, then?” I suggested hopefully.
“Don’t even mention it,” she said.
“Spook already knows something is going on,” I said. “What if she asks?”
“Punt,” said Miss Switch. “Amelia’s smart enough to figure out what’s what. Take my word for it.”
“I suppose I can’t even tell my pets,” I said, realizing as soon as the words were out of my mouth that one of them was already knee- or, rather, feather-deep in this whole situation.
“Don’t be silly, Rupert,” said Miss Switch. “Of course you can tell your pets. That’s an entirely different matter.”
“Well, good night, then, Miss Switch,” I said, and started to climb out the window. With one leg over the windowsill, I hesitated and looked back. An interesting thought had occurred to me. “Miss Switch,” I said, “did you ever … well… swoon over Grodork, aka Mr. Dorking?”
Miss Switch instantly impaled me to the window with her deadly glare. My blood turned to ice. What had I been thinking asking a stupid question like that?
Then, all at once, Miss Switch threw back her head and started howling. With laughter! “Did you get that, cat?” she said.
“I … I … d-d-did!” replied Bathsheba. She was down on her back, her paws flailing the air, shaking so hard, she could hardly talk. “I’ve never heard anything so funny in my life. Imagine you swooning over that moron. Oh, that’s rich, it is!”
“Me mooning over that imbecile!” Miss Switch shrieked. “What a picture!”
“Stop! Stop!” Bathsheba screeched. “I can’t stand it!”
The two of them were still screeching and howling, chuckling and chortling and gasping for air as I sneaked away. I felt like a prize idiot.
“Well, that was interesting,” Fred said as I unzipped my pocket and lifted him out.
“You don’t know the half of it,” I said, as I put him back on my shoulder and started for home.
9
Ominous Gobbledygook
To : [email protected]
From: [email protected]
subject: Nose under control
what’s all the mystery? i’m going crazy waiting to find out. but I’m not going to ask a lot of Questions. I know you used to think I was pretty nosy, and I was. I am. But as you’ve found out, I can keep my nose out of things if I have to and I have a strange feeling I’m supposed to now. Right? find I won’t say any more about what you told me not to say anything more about. school here is okay. Not great, just okay. Are you still looking for the toadstoolius spookus returnicum? I’m looking here, but I have a feeling you’ll have more luck where you are, especially at good old pepperdine, considering what we found there before, write when you can, whatever you can.
Spook
From: [email protected]
Subject: Nose control appreciated
Got your letter and am writing this short one before I leave for school. Just wanted to tell you not to go crazy. Keep cool. and thanks for keeping the nose under control. I’ll explain when I can. Please don’t give up. The pets send their best.
Broomstick
I hated not writing more to Spook, but I knew if I did, the chances were I’d say too much. I felt I was on safe ground mentioning the pets. After all, animal people often sent regards from Rover, or love from Tabby, in their letters. There was nothing remarkable about my pets sending their best, except I was pretty sure Spook might figure they actually had, which meant they were talking to me, which meant Miss Switch was back. But I knew Miss Switch was right. Spook was smart enough to know what was what, and would say no more about it.
As soon as I’d sent this off to Spook, I was ready to see if there was a new message from Saturna. And was I ever grateful to Bathsheba! This time there was no quivering and heaving in and out, and other weird noises. In absolute silence, the computowitch.com homepage appeared on the screen. Saturna must have been up early, because there was another new message.
“Yes, I approve!
You’re on the move,
The play’s the thing
Revenge to bring,
Come, disaster
Fast and faster,
Begin the coup
And start the stew,
No need to tell
Your surprise spell,
I trust your brain
To be their bane,
And cannot wait
To hear their fate.”
I couldn’t wait to hear what Miss Switch had to say about this one. To me
