“Your privilege, cat,” said Miss Switch
By then we had arrived at the computer room. Miss Switch moved up a chair for Bathsheba, and then leaned over me, watching every move I made. I have to say I felt pretty important demonstrating something to someone who was not only my teacher, but a witch as well. Not to mention her know-it-all cat.
“Okay, Miss Switch,” I said. “Now stand back and get ready for the show.” I typed in “computowitch,” and sure enough, everything happened just as I expected it would: screen shivering, colors changing, machine heaving in and out.
“You’re quite positive the thing isn’t going to explode?” asked Miss Switch.
“Absolutely!” I said, now feeling like an old hand at this.
I was right, of course. Everything calmed down. The word “computowitch” arrived back on the screen. I added “.com” and the “enter password” box immediately appeared on the screen.
“Quick! Quick! Enter it, Rupert! Enter it!” Miss Switch drummed excitedly on the back of my chair with her long, bony fingers. “The suspense is killing me!”
“Well, here goes!” I said, and with great deliberation I typed the name “SATURNA.”
Wham!
Bang!
The same homepage appeared with all the stars and moons and weird lines around the border. And the very same words!
“There it is, Miss Switch,” I said. “Exactly what I got before.”
“Be still, Rupert!” Miss Switch said. “Just let me read it.” And so while I was reading it on the screen, Miss Switch read it aloud.
“How very sweet
Tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet,
I’ll have my chance
To howl and dance,
No one’s in sight
Except that fright,
No you know who
Is in the brew,
Bats may squeal
And vultures wheel,
But do not fear
The way is clear.”
For a few moments after Miss Switch finished reading, the room was silent. Deadly silent. And then a huge shower of sparks flew over my shoulders at the screen. I held my breath, waiting for the explosion I knew was going to follow. And it did!
Miss Switch gave a blistering howl of rage. “How very sweet, tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet! Who does that creature think she is, a canary? I’ll put her in a cage someday, and see how much tweeting she does. Have a chance to howl and dance, will she? Oh, not if I have anything to do with it, my pretty. And I suppose the ‘No one in sight/Except that fright’ refers to Miss Blossom. That’s rich from someone whose face would scare the warts off a hog! But she has a head stuffed with moon dust if she thinks ‘you know who’ is not in the brew. ‘You know who’ is in the brew, and in the stew, and in the know, Madame Saturna. Oh yes, tomorrow Miss Blossom, aka you know who, aka the fright, aka Miss Switch, rides again!”
Miss Switch really had me all charged up. “Hurrah!” I shouted, waving my fist in the air. “But now you know, Miss Switch, why I wasn’t sure Miss Blossom was really you. I mean, how was I to know Saturna hadn’t set a big trap for me.”
“And she might have, Rupert,” Miss Switch said. “Make no mistake about it. She might be making a huge blunder regarding Miss Blossom, but she’s still dangerous. We can’t let down our guard. We’d be on a very slippery slope if you hadn’t discovered computowitch.com.”
“I’ll check it out first thing in the morning,” I said. “I have to be careful, though. If my parents happen to come around and see my computer carrying on the way it does, they’ll run in and pull the plug and not let me near it again until my father has taken it someplace to be looked at. But I’ll see what I can do. Of course, we can always use one of these computers when no one’s around,” I suggested.
“But you’d be in hot soup if anyone just happened to surprise you and walk in.” Bathsheba gave a wide yawn and stretched. “Might I be allowed to make a suggestion?”
“Yes! Yes! Yes!” Miss Switch said impatiently. “But be quick about it, cat. I have papers to correct, and Rupert has to get home for his rest.”
“Well,” Bathsheba drawled, “I noted that Rupert waited for the machine to go into its song-and-dance routine after he typed ‘computowitch.’ When it was all over, he put in the ‘.com.’”
“So?” inquired Miss Switch.
“So,” said Bathsheba, “why not just type in ‘computowitch.com’ all at once? Why give those self-important little machines with their puffed-up egos the grand opportunity to show off? Cut them off at the pass, is what I say. Oh well, try it or not, it’s your choice.”
“It’s a waste of time,” I said. “It only works one way.”
Bathsheba flicked her tail back and forth. “Up to you,” she said indifferently.
“The cat may have a point, Rupert,” said Miss Switch. “If we don’t want to sit through the whole show, we can always pull the plug. Go ahead, do it!”
This sounded more like a command than a request, and I made a point of never arguing with Miss Switch. “Oh, all right,” I grumbled. “But I don’t think it will work.”
I quickly typed in “computowitch.com.” Not a second’s pause after the word. And in the “enter password” box, I typed “SATURNA.”
Wham!
Bang!
There was the same Web site just as it had been before I turned off the computer.
“So there you are!” said Miss Switch.
“Well, what do you know!” I said. “Gee, thanks, Bathsheba! I don’t know if I ever would have thought of that.”
Anyway, I didn’t mind too much losing to a smart cat like Bathsheba, even if she did have a pretty high opinion of herself.
“Don’t mention it,” she said, and never even lost a beat finishing an ear wash job.
Then I went back to Room Twelve with Miss Switch and Bathsheba because I decided I’d just as soon leave the same way I arrived, through the Room Twelve
