On Saturday, Dad takes me with him to meet Doug who has all the props. He and my dad have been friends since college, where they were both members of the same fraternity. Doug’s been married three times and is going through another divorce, so Dad warned me not to ask Doug any personal questions—as if I was going to. All I want is to get my hands on some cool movie props.
When we get there, Doug’s examining a shipment of the most lifelike skulls I’ve ever seen.
“That’s because they’re REAL.” Doug takes one of the skulls from the top of the box and hands it to me.
“Just because we’re in the movie business doesn’t mean we don’t use the genuine article when we can get it,” Doug continues.
I’ve dissected frogs in Ms. Miller’s class before but this is the first time I’ve held someone else’s head. I hadn’t planned on today being so hands-on—literally!
“Don’t get any ideas for your video.” Dad points to the label on the box. “Those are from a museum.”
I carefully hand the skull back to Doug.
“From what your dad told me, you’re not really sure what you’re looking for. Why don’t you stroll through the aisles and see if anything inspires you?”
It’s an offer no kid could refuse. We’re still at Doug’s desk but already I can see rows of aliens, costumes, toys, bikes—it’s like someone’s garage, overflowing with a million things to rummage through. My mom LOVES yard sales; if this stuff was for sale, she certainly would’ve come with us instead of running errands.
Doug asks me if I want some water or juice but I can’t wait to start poring through these shelves. He gives me a giant cart—even bigger than the ones at Home Depot—and tells me that Jerry, one of his interns, will accompany me. Jerry barely looks up from texting but I don’t complain, because I know that even with a chaperone, this is a tremendous opportunity.
I’m not interested in any of the dishes or glassware but I’m impressed with how they’ve sorted everything by color, size, and shape. Every object is neatly labeled; now I understand why so many people work here.
I don’t really care about the aisles and aisles of clothes either but the hats are a different story. Rows and rows of bowlers, fedoras, army helmets, aviator hats—I wish I’d known about this place back when I used to run around in costumes all the time. I take a turban off the shelf and ask Jerry if it’s okay to try it on.
Jerry barely looks up as he nods.
I can’t find a mirror so I use a nearby medieval helmet to see my reflection. Maybe I can tell fortunes on my YouTube channel!
“You’re not thinking about dressing up like a fortune-teller, are you?” Jerry asks. “It’s been done a thousand times.”
I tell him OF COURSE I wasn’t thinking of that and place the turban back on the shelf. Why does this guy have to be so negative?
Dad and Doug catch up to me in the room with all the nautical props. (After the intern’s comment on my fortune-teller idea, I don’t even THINK about doing a submarine show.)
“You need some help brainstorming?” Dad asks. “This place can be a little overwhelming.”
I assure him that I can definitely come up with something on my own.
Dad points to his wrist where his watch used to be even though he uses his phone to tell time now. “You’ve got another half hour,” he says. “After that, we let these good people get back to work.”
I’m not sure if this snobbish intern falls into the “good people” category, but I realize Doug is helping us and I don’t want to take advantage of the favor. I tell Dad I’ll meet him at Doug’s office soon.
As I wheel my empty cart into the next aisle, I can’t help but let out a yell. Jerry looks up from his phone and nods.
“The taxidermy section always freaks people out,” he says. “Especially the lion. We call him Walter.”
I reach out to touch the gigantic creature. Of course, I know it’s not alive but the creature is posed like it’s ready to pounce and it takes a few moments for me to adjust.
“I think Walter might be too big for your school project,” Jerry says. “Although it would make for a funny talk show interviewing a lion sitting on a couch in a TV studio.”
Number one, it’s more than a “school project.” Number two, please stop coming up with ideas for MY YouTube channel. Number three, I am not going through rooms and rooms of props so I can have a stupid TALK SHOW! I don’t share any of this with Jerry, just focus on all the animals, one more realistic than the next. (I compare the stuffed pheasant to the one I drew jumping out of a helicopter recently. My version was pretty good, if I do say so myself.) I also take a million pictures, which I immediately post to Instagram and Snapchat.
Believe it or not, something more impressive than the lion makes me grind the cart to a halt. A petite woman is carrying a humongous set of barbells, tossing them around like they weigh as much as a feather duster.
“Is she a famous bodybuilder or something?” I ask Jerry.
Jerry looks up from his phone. “Sophia? She can barely open a jar. Those are fake weights.”
Jerry must be getting bored with babysitting me because he shoves his phone in his pocket and leads me over to the shelf.
“Everything here is made to look heavy but is really lightweight—the barbells, the medicine balls, the beer kegs, even the rocks. They use these in movies all the time.”
Before he finishes talking, I’m loading items onto the cart. I can lift a boulder over my head! I throw an anvil
